Corner of Bourbon & Division

:::More writing stuff. You've been warned.:::



I'd forgotten just how much the writing muscle can atrophy in such a short time. Everything is frustrating me today. Nothing is coming out the way I want it to: it's all either contrived or clumsy or just wrong. Gah! It honestly feels as though I've never written a word in my life, that I'm starting completely from scratch.

I have learned my lesson, however, and shall persevere. Eventually the muscle will come back, and it won't feel like trying to get blood from a stone. I have to transcribe the last instalment of BTP, then try to write a second one. Eventually the flow will come back, right? Right.

At least I got rid of those godawful 3,000-odd words that were holding me back in CdZ. I didn't want to delete them ('Cause, y'know, WORDCOUNT!), but they were preventing me from doing anything useful with the novel. Like, say, keep writing it. I still am not entirely comfortable with how the ending is working out, but at least I'm getting toward the end.

I also want to get back to A Lamentation of Swans, which has been on hold since August. I really, really like that story. Better than CdZ, if I can be perfectly honest. It's a lot more work to write it, though, and it's not anywhere near done, though, so I'm trying to focus on what I can get finished, at least for now.

Oh, did I mention the crushing guilt of not having my serials up on time?

Just, argh.

Okay, back to writing.

I remember once that miseri had wondered what each serial would be if it were, in fact, a cereal. I have figured out what Beyond the Pale would be: Count Chokula. Scary, yet funny and little bit ridiculous. Also gritty.

That is all. You may go back to your regularly-scheduled lives now.

Off to band practice.

This weekend was officially Not Restful, although I had bucketfuls of fun at band practice, my belated housewarming, and the game on Sunday.

Thank God today was quiet at work.

The question of the week is: "Is your metaphorical sink shiny?"

I wrote my 100th instalment of Beyond the Pale today. It'll be posted next week. I'm excited. I think I won't participate in the 3-Day Novel Challenge this year. I think that's a wee bit much to ask of myself, given everything else that's going on. I'm going to get one more NaNo under my belt, and if that goes well, then I'll participate next year. I'll have more money then, too.

I was going to go to bed early tonight. I got sucked in by LJ and blogs and stuff.

Tomorrow there will be cooking. Muahahaa!

Yes, I wrote all six of the drabbles that were requested of me, and they are now up at secret_history.

fearsclave, you may see a familiar face if you read the one elanya requested (she wanted Technocracy, so I of course was happy to oblige her). Just sayin'.


I also posted an extra installment of Conflation, which will go up every two weeks on Thursdays, because I have decreed it so. Hah!


In other words, I spent most of today writing when I should have been screening leases for discrepancies. But hey, I still got my work done and I wrote fiction. Also, I practiced the drums, and at rehearsal we beat the instrumental of "J'Veux pas vieillir" into bloody submission, and lo, all was right with the world once more.

Seriously, if you haven't been reading Baker's 12, what the hell is wrong with you?

Go catch up now. We're only days away from the new installments.

I really, really wanted to go do my dance class tonight. Last week I was felled by the Massive Wall of Tired™, and tonight I have a migraine.

I can't afford to exhaust myself this week. After 40 hours of work, 4 hours of volunteering, and 6 or so hours of dancing, I'm also looking at 16 or so hours of class on Saturday and Sunday. So, I'm going to go to bed early tonight. That means that, once again, I won't be learning the intermediate dance.

*sigh*

In better news, I am accumulating a backlog for Beyond the Pale in anticipation of being super damned busy over the weekend. I've already got all my installments written up until Sunday, and if I can write one or two more tomorrow, that'll be even better. I'm going to be really busy next weekend as well, so if I can keep my buffer of one or two installments intact, then I'll be good to go.

If I've learned anything from NaNoWriMo and Jan's August Writing Challenge and my own latest attempt to catch up with the serial, it's that writing damned well is a muscle. In September of 2004, when I started writing Beyond the Pale, 1,500 words was a struggle. Not in terms of finding the words to say what I wanted, but just the sheer amount of time and effort it took to get the words out. After about four months, I fell behind and didn't bother catching up.

Then I decided to do the writing challenge in August. I had thirty-one days, and I was thirty-one weeks behind. I had already been doing a little bit more writing, so I figured it might work. It almost did. It was still a struggle to write, but not as much, and I wrote other things at the same time. I wrote fourteen installments. That was fifteen fewer installments than I had planned, but fourteen more installments than I had started out with.

When November rolled around, suddenly writing wasn't like beating my head against a brick wall anymore. I could sit down and churn out my 1, 667 words a day with very little difficulty. It took me about an hour and a half to write that much. I surprised myself by writing more than that on many days. The writing wasn't always good, but I forced myself to keep going anyway.

Now, it takes me a little over an hour to write an installment of Beyond the Pale. I treat it exactly like NaNoWriMo: I don't edit, I don't delete unless absolutely necessary. I write it and post it. It's raw, unfinished art, and that's the way I want it for now.

I am very grateful to be living my life the way I am right now. I have many friends who love to write, who are fantastic at it, but who can't because other stuff in their lives has to take priority these days. I am grateful that, while my cats may be pissed off that Mummy isn't giving them her undivided attention all the time, I don't have to watch them 24/7. I am glad that my job right now doesn't take up all my energy so that I can catch up on my writing. I am very, very grateful for what I have right now, even though it's all going to change soon enough.

I stopped writing when I was about twenty-one, and heading for my first breakdown. Before that, I wrote all the time. I wrote hundreds of pages, spent all my time writing, to the point where my mother and I used to have epic battles about whether I was going to leave the damned computer and come have dinner, now!

One day, I'm going to find that Writing Place that Ceri described again. I know that place. I used to spend a great deal of time there, but not anymore. I feel as though I've been cut off from there for a very long time.

My writing is decent. I know it is. Oftentimes it's more than decent. I just miss being in that blissed-out state in which the story practically writes itself, rather than having to think about every word and every plot twist.

t! wrote today about climbing out of the pit. About how, when you have limited amounts of time to devote to your projects and routine maintenance of your life, you end up falling behind at some point, and the catch-up game is all about clawing your way out of the giant hole in the ground.

Actually, go read it here and then come back. Really, if you haven't been reading the_exclamation up until now, well, now's a good time to start. Go! Shoo! Come back when you've read it.

Right now I'm climbing out of one pit. I've still got a number of others that need climbing, but I figure one pit at a time. When February is over, I'll only be twelve installments behind. I'm tempted to keep going, but we'll see how much energy I have left by then.

In other words, I am cautiously optimistic right now.

Survived my first day at work without internet. No one died, let there be rejoicing.

My productivity went up a bit, predictably. Of course, there isn't all that much for me to do at work, so once I've caught up on all my filing I predict that I'll be sitting on my thumbs a good portion of the time, the way I was before I got internet access at work sometime in the spring of 2005, if memory serves.

Anyway, I have produced two instalments of Beyond the Pale in two days. Yesterday was the regular posting schedule (every Tuesday), and today is February 1st, which means that I have officially started my personal February Writing Challenge. Let's see if I make it this time. I didn't make it in August, but August prepared me for NaNoWriMo, and I did that, so maybe this'll work. Maybe there's nowhere to go but up from now on.

Oh, it's hard to hold the hand of anyone
Who is reaching for the sky just to surrender
Who is reaching for the sky just to surrender...


Okay, random musical interlude aside...

I am in a very random mood tonight.

I should either go to bed or work on my serial. I have discovered that I can write about 1,000 words over my lunch break at work. Since each instalment of Beyond the Pale is between 1,500 and 2,500 words, this means that, in theory, in the evenings I should be producing anywhere between 500 and 1,500 words. To be honest, that hasn't happened yet.

My best days during NaNoWriMo, I managed, I think, 6,000 words in one day. However, if you can credit it, I'm actually busier this February than I was in November. Be afraid, be very afraid. For one, my club is having a three-day event next week. I'm also going to be taking courses over the course of two weekends. All-day affairs, don't you know. Insert other regularly-scheduled stuff in between, and you get a very busy Phnee.

Well, I shall make do. What is it they say? If you need something done, give it to the busiest person you know. It's true, though: the more you do, the more you seem to be able to get done. (If only I could convince myself that housework should fit into all this :P) So maybe I'll manage it after all, in spite of my misgivings.

Incidentally, you all have permission to pester me about whether I'm writing, and to kick my ass if I'm not. What are friends for, right?


( Really boring rambling about work )


Well, that's all for now folks. I am heading to bed. More exciting news from the filing front tomorrow. Wish me luck with my serial, I shall keep you all informed concerning the posting schedule, whether you want to hear it or not. ;)

Cheers!

I don't recall giving permission for it to be February in less than 48 hours. Seriously. Who authorized this?

In theory, I was planning on writing a new instalment of Beyond the Pale every day in February. That's 28 instalments, since it's not a leap year.

In practice, I looked at my calendar and just about passed out. I have something scheduled every. single. day. in February, and it's not writing.

Those of you who are about to kick my ass for not keeping my Sundays free, cease and desist now: I have one free Sunday this month. Two of the three that are taken up are being taken up by my new dispatcher course. I figure this is worth the time I have set aside for me on Sundays. :)

So, what does this mean? It means that I shall do my utmost to live up to my original committment. It also means that, if I don't manage to write 28 instalments of my serial in that time, I won't beat myself up about it. I will write every day, and hopefully it'll come out to 28 instalments. If not, I'll take what I can get.

Those of you who haven't given up in disgust yet will be pleased to know that there are two new chapters waiting for you up at secret_history.

I'm not putting the direct link to the entries here because it's late and I'm tired and so I'm going to be lazy about this.


Happy Trails!

So instead of working on today's instalment of Beyond the Pale, I found myself writing the first instalment of the new serial that's been bopping around inside my head since about mid-November (right before my computer died).

Yeah, I know.

So I suppose I'll be writing Beyond the Pale when I get home from my dancing class tonight. I have to admit that I'm in the part of the story I like the least. I'm anxious to get my characters moving, and unfortunately, with the current pace I've set they're not likely to be going anywhere for at least another ten instalments or so. Bleh. I hate long-term planning.

So, because I have the attention span of a magpie on crack, I have turned to a bright and shiny new story that will hopefully fulfill my need to move really really fast.

Gah. Okay, the CAM just came by with a rush job (why can she never plan these things ahead of time? She hasn't been back 24 hours and already we have to put out fires...), so I'll have to finish this later.

:::zooms off:::