Corner of Bourbon & Division

I had so many things I wanted to get done today and I only got a fraction of them done. My main mistake was going to Costco with KK. I was originally planning to go alone because I usually do, but our membership renewal is coming up and we also had a rewards "cheque" that apparently only she can redeem at the cash because she's the primary account holder.

Turns out, shopping at Costco at midday on a Saturday with KK is really stressful. Mostly it was the circumstances: the place was packed to the gills with people. Normally I grab a cart and sort of use that as a shield against other people, but since KK was there she grabbed a motorized cart to drive, and that left me kind of adrift, with people coming at me with carts from all angles, including KK, who did not have great control over the motorized cart. I tried walking behind her but she kept stopping the cart because she thought I was "slowing down," which would then make me run into her. She told me to walk in front of her, and when I did she kept nearly running into me with the cart. I'm used to going at my own pace, and trying to navigate personal hazards and keep track of KK and stuff was actually pretty draining.

I used the cheque at the cash register, so apparently they don't check particularly hard to make sure you're the primary cardholder, and KK's electric cart started acting up and refusing to go. She kept having to switch it off, wait a few seconds, then switch it on again before it would respond to her commands. We managed to make it through checkout and went to the membership counter. By then my brain was buzzing a little, and things were so loud that I couldn't hear most of what KK was discussing with the lady at the counter. Eventually I approached when KK indicated she wanted my opinion, although I only caught bits and pieces of it. We eventually settled on switching things up so that I'm the primary account holder since I'm the one who does most of the shopping, and then things got hilarious.

The service rep looked at KK very seriously and said: "So you understand, everything will now be in your daughter's name and go to her?"

I giggled and told her I was very flattered that she thought I was that young and good-looking. KK got her up to speed on the fact that I'm six years her junior, and the poor lady was a little embarrassed, but we all laughed it off. I can understand the misapprehension: I was standing back and not really participating in the conversation (because I couldn't hear, but from the outside it looks like a very teenager-y thing to do), and my hair is currently dyed bright blue, and since I was wearing an N95 mask it made it harder to see my actual age. Anyway, we had fun with it.

Then KK's cart died again and we were stuck for a couple of minutes while she got it going again. We flagged it to one of the employees, who told KK that it was because she was leaning too far forward in her seat, but it died again once we got it to the car. After that there was no shifting it, so I ended up physically dragging it across the whole [expletive deleted] parking lot. Let me tell you, dragging an inert motorized shopping cart is not even remotely fun.

We got home and I put the groceries away. Actually, yesterday, at KK's suggestion I completely re-organized the fridge in a way that is supposed to be more ADHD-friendly, with the produce in the fridge door. At the very least, this will keep the produce from freezing in the fridge. I don't know why the fridge keeps freezing my food, but I've been losing more than I would like to that. Hopefully this will work out in the longer term. The fridge door isn't super convenient for keeping vegetables, unfortunately, it's just not the right shape.

I was signed up for an online workshop this afternoon on community building, and that was super interesting and I don't for a second regret it, but I didn't get my seeds started, and tomorrow is going to be taken up with Quaker things for basically the whole day. I might be able to get it done Monday, but I was really hoping to get it done earlier than that. Maybe I'll stay up later tomorrow night, since I'm starting night shifts on Monday anyway, and try to get some of the seeds started then instead. I did at least figure out some of the grow light setup, and I will try to sort out the rest tomorrow. Either way, I am entirely out of spoons, and probably in a serious spoon deficit at this point.

Okay, on that note, it's time for bed. I have to be at Meeting early tomorrow to be ready for First Day School. I don't know if there will be any children there, but I need to be ready in case there are.

If you had told me ten years ago that I would live to see the day when a US government official would throw up not one, but two Sieg Heils in a row during an inauguration, I would not have believed you, but HERE WE ARE, apparently.

I simultaneously have no words and all the words. I feel as though, if I start talking about what I'm feeling, I will crack open and everything will come pouring out of me and just never stop, a flood of outrage and indignation and fear on behalf of all the people I know and love. Already there are reports coming in from the US about executive orders about taking away care for trans people, and deporting immigrants, and any number of other attacks on civil liberties. If it weren't so damned dangerous, it would be funny that the wording of one of the executive orders has inadvertently declared everyone in the USA a woman, because it specifies that it's the sex "at conception" that determines legal gender, and every single fertilized egg starts out as female. But it's not funny, because this is just going to be used to seriously harm one of the most vulnerable populations out there. We can laugh, but we all know it's gallows humour, just laughing in the face of adversity, because what choice do we have? It's Day 1 of the new Presidency, and already there are people spreading panic about ICE takedowns that aren't really happening, because they want their 15 minutes of fame on social media, and the misinformation is getting spread around and causing harm by burying legitimate information about deportation actions taking place. It's all a goddamned mess.

It's at times like this that I ever so slightly regret leaving my position at the RCMP, because I often knew National Security things well ahead of the public, and it gave me a probably false sense of security that I might be able to see a lot of things coming and prepare accordingly. For the record, I had given it a lot of thought while I was working there, and if I'd come across information that I thought might save lives if I became a whistleblower, then I would have done exactly that. So it wasn't just about being personally prepared. Just in case you were wondering.

In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out what I can do and where my limits lie. I have been frustratingly unable to keep myself together these past few years, let alone help anyone else, but it's clear I have to do more than what I have been. As they say: if you find yourself wondering what you would have done when the Nazis took power, look at what you're doing right now, because that's what you would have done then. For me right now that looks like going to work, trying to pay my bills, and feeling something akin to despair at what I'm seeing all around me, combined with doing a little bit of prepping whenever I can muster the energy. Clearly, in light of what's happening, that's not enough.

I don't think I can do anything that will directly or materially help my friends south of the border. It's just not within my power at this time. For what it's worth, if any of you land on my doorstep here in Canada after making it across the border, you will always have a place to crash while you figure out your next steps. It's just that Canada has a ridiculous immigration process and it's next to impossible for US citizens to gain a path to Canadian citizenship outside of a work or student visa, and work visas are really tricky to get these days. And Immigration, Refugees, and Citizenship Canada (IRCC) have just announced they're cutting 3,300 jobs in the next few months, so that will make wait times even longer and the paperwork even more complicated, I assume. 

So I'm going to focus on what I can do closer to home. We've been facing a housing and hunger crisis for a long time in Canada, so I'm going to try to find a volunteer spot at a local food bank. A lot of the local volunteer-based outreach is dominated by Christian organizations with a lot of emphasis on proselytizing, which I am not keen on. I'm thinking, though, that if I get enough experience, I might down the road be able to get together with other like-minded people and maybe start a food pantry or a food bank of my own. No idea if that's realistic or feasible, but something worth looking into, I think.

I'm also going to make a renewed effort to connect with my neighbours. I live in a townhome complex, and mostly people keep to themselves, but I am on friendly-if-distant terms with my immediate neighbours. The lady who kept calling bylaw on my dogs and whose son stormed aggressively into my yard to scream at me a couple of years ago is welcome to go fuck herself, but I am going to reach out to my closer neighbours. There's a few who have made at least polite noises about having a shared drink at some point, and while my last invitation was politely declined due to prior commitments, I will give it another try, probably in February so I have at least a snowball's chance in hell of getting the house clean enough for guests.

I've been following an account called "The Happy Urbanist" on TikTok, and last year he started a regular event at his house called "Popsicles on the Porch," where every Thursday evening through the summer he'd bring out a giant cooler full of popsicles and distribute them to his neighbours from his porch. Everyone was welcome, it was an outdoor affair so distancing was possible, and it was super kid-friendly.  So I think I will start that in late April or May. Of course, I don't have a porch, but I do have a front stoop and a driveway, so I can definitely make something happen, and if it takes off in the summer I will try to extend it into the fall and the warmer part of winter, and serve coffee and hot chocolate instead of popsicles. I might even pull my barbecue into the driveway and ask people to bring their own food if they want to have more than a popsicle. This plan is going to be a lot easier to enact in the near future than anything else. I'm going to post an announcement on local community boards (both physical and online), and put paper flyers in mailboxes for my immediate neighbours, and see what happens. I might get no people or I might get fifty or a hundred, there's no real way to tell at this point.

I'm in a few local groups on Facebook and NextDoor, so there does appear to be some desire to connect with community among the folks in my area. I am taking that as a sign to be optimistic, at least.

In the meantime, I am determined to make this weekend the time I get all my seeds started for both my indoor veggie garden and for my community garden plot. I was always told not to start my plants too early or they'd get leggy/otherwise not do well, but I have found another gardening resource that has what seems like good advice on how to start your plants early and get not only good results, but hardier/more resilient plants for the growing season and even a potentially better harvest.

I have plans to put in at least one raised bed in my own backyard this summer, and multiple raised beds in my garden plot. I was originally planning to plant everything in the ground directly, but last summer's back injury has convinced me that this is a bad idea. I need to have access to at least part of the garden without having to bend/crouch all the way down to ground level. 

I also put in an order for a pound of red wiggler worms yesterday which I will hopefully be picking up tomorrow in order to start vermicomposting again. I am planning a three-tier system using Rubbermaid bins this time, along with a repurposed cooler drain for easier access to the "worm tea" (aka the liquid that is produced by worm bins in addition to the compost/worm castings).

So, yeah. I want to at least try to not be a useless lump for the next few months. Only time will tell if I will be successful in any meaningful way.

ai731 has asked me to talk about my plan for living more sustainably when I move. There are still ten or so slots available for the tell me what to write about meme, if you're interested.

I apologise in advance for the fact that this entry is likely going to be more disjointed and a lot less comprehensive than previous entries. Mostly I'm writing it because I committed to writing these posts every day this month, and because I'm trying to distract myself from yesterday's really horrific trauma. Needless to say, the distractions aren't working all that well so far. However, I figure trying to write an LJ post is better than siting on my bed and crying, so that's what I'm going to do. Subsequently I'm going to go through with my original plan of cleaning up the basement.

( Phnee's rather haphazard attempt at explaining what she means by living sustainably )

Last night my brain decided that I should stay up and Worry About All The Things™. So I was up until at least after 2:30, which was the last time I remember looking at the clock before falling asleep. The good side to that was that I was awake at midnight when Bean woke up screaming bloody murder because he had to go to the bathroom. He's been getting up almost every night now to pee, and that has resulted in dry diapers in the morning. So we're well on our way to having him be completely diaper-free at this rate. It's very exciting!

Bean was also up promptly at 6:20, and since he came into our room to ask his mother if he could watch television, that was loud enough to wake me as well (mostly because he started whining and then screaming when she said no), although I had set my alarm for 6:30. So I got up then too, much to Bean's befuddlement. He's not used to my getting up at the same time as him and Mama.

We got Bean fed, dressed and out the door on time (three tantrums, four instances of whining and fussing, and two instances of running away and giggling instead of doing what he was told, all in the space of an hour and fifteen minutes), and I set about trying to be productive for the rest of the day.

My first stop was at the bank (though I did call to make an appointment to get my car tires changed, finally). I took the dog with me because he needed the exercise and because he was so excited when he saw me put on my running shoes to go to the bank that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hadn't planned on taking him with me. So, happy dog was happy. I managed to straighten out the problem of the daycare check that the bank bounced, and was very pleased with the prompt, efficient service I received from the teller. They apologised (sort of), reversed all the charges and covered the fee the daycare will charge for a returned check, no muss, no fuss. If only all my problems were so easily solved.

I got home and cleaned the bathroom, and was about to start on the kitchen when pdaughter came back from school to wait for the Avon ladies to show up for their 14:30 meeting. As an aside, pdaughter is starting up her own Avon business again, so if anyone local wants the flyers for the current or future campaigns, by all means look us up! Avon has some really neat stuff, not just makeup and skin care products. You can look it up specifically on Facebook, where I encourage you to at least "like" her page, just in case. Father's Day is just around the corner, and there are all sorts of fun products and swag you can get for a very reasonable price!

Anyway, back to the exciting recounting of my day. :P I did a pretty thorough cleaning of the kitchen while we waited for the Avon ladies (they were well over an hour late due to traffic), including scrubbing down the cabinet under the kitchen sink, which had grown super scungy over the winter. We've been having trouble with ants for a few weeks, and I figured that cleaning things out down there certainly couldn't hurt. We have ant traps set up strategically, but we can't work out where they're coming from, cheeky little buggers. So right now we're mostly engaged in guerrilla warfare against the little formicidae foot soldiers. Ugh. If we knew where they were coming from we'd be able to put down corn starch and have done, but not dice. It's rather frustrating.

I headed out to do some last-minute grocery shopping before the Avon ladies arrived, but everyone was gone by the time I got home again. Despite getting caught in some pretty gnarly traffic I was still able to get dinner in the oven in a timely fashion. I don't think I've ever cleaned and chopped vegetables that fast in my whole life. I made chicken with roasted vegetables and made baked tomatoes as a side dish. Very paleo, I'm sure fearsclave would approve. ;)

Predictably, Bean's first reaction was: "But me not like that!" He demanded to have macaroni, then demanded "leftover pizza," and was upset when he was not presented with either of those options. I hadn't bothered giving him one of the baked tomatoes, figuring it would be met with shrieks of horror, but when he saw the one I'd given pdaughter he immediately insisted on having some, spurning the chicken, potatoes, carrots and green pepper already on his plate. After two small servings of tomato he then threw himself on the floor and wailed about being thirsty, and then whined and fussed and kicked at the nearest piece of furniture when he was instructed to eat a bit more before he'd be given more milk. It took some doing, but eventually we got him back into his chair, and after a bit more fussing he ate all his carrots, then tried the chicken and promptly finished that, and even managed a good number of his potatoes.

A pyrrhic victory, but one I'll take nonetheless.

Bean took a bath while I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher and put away the rest of dinner into Tupperware containers. We have enough for at least one other meal, which is nice. The food turned out delicious, if I do say so myself. The chicken was moist, the veggies crisp and savoury (though the carrots were a tad too crunchy for my liking—I'll try cutting them thinner the next time I make this dish).

Although he was wound tighter than a spring factory, Bean actually settled relatively quickly once he was properly in bed (there were a lot of false starts to that), and so we were actually able to start Game of Thrones at a decent hour, and now we're going crazy and watching CSI as well. Two TV shows in the same evening! Unheard of!

Tomorrow it's meant to rain, which will put a damper on my plans to do yard work. I may try to organise my paperwork instead, depending on the weather. I have been very bad about keeping my papers in any kind of semblance of order, and it's my newest May project, to get it all sorted out properly into my filing cabinet. That will definitely help when it comes time to sell the house/do my taxes/that sort of thing. If I have time I'm also going to head to Home Depot. I am determined to get the garden ship-shape this weekend and next weekend so that we can take advantage of it during the summer months.

And now, to finish CSI and pray that I'll actually be able to sleep tonight. Obviously when I mentioned almost wishing for insomnia the other day, I should have been more careful about what I wished for. :P

I'm feeling a bit more energetic these days. ( Light and energy. )

( Gardening, fencing and asphalt. )

( Paperwork. Blech. And also the prospect of selling books. )

So that's about it for now. I have other thoughts about time and procrastination and time management, but they're all still pretty rough, and not ready to be written down.

I'm feeling pretty optimistic about summer. Maybe it's the extra sunlight, maybe not, but I'm not complaining. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather and to getting outside more.

The daffodils are out in the garden. I am very pleased. :)

I have to do some planning for what the rest of the garden is going to do. I learned a lot last year, but I'm getting a really late start this year due to having had a crappy winter, mood-wise and schedule-wise. So once more I'm going to be going with plantings from Atwater Market. I think next year ought to present a better opportunity for growing things from seed.

Also, I got a car! I'll be picking it up next Thursday. I'm very pleased. Photos will be forthcoming. Now I need to think of a name for it. I've been toying with the Iain M. Banks Culture naming conventions.

Supernatural is still rocking my world, although last night's episode was unexpectedly sad. :(

To quote fearsclave. I'm off by a few minutes, but oh well. :)

Night shift is back, and kicking my behind. I'm not surprised. I'll be back where I need to be in a few days, sleep-wise, so it's not the end of the world. Tonight I have tidying to do, and I have to figure out something for dinner.

Otherwise, things are pretty good.

I have a pile of tomatoes waiting to be canned. I hope they'll hold out until I can get to them.

In other news, the new work schedule is out, unofficially, but I haven't seen much of it. I *do* get an extra day off every six weeks, which is nice. It means every six weeks I essentially get a four-day weekend, which is pretty awesome. Unfortunately, two weekends a month will now be spent at work. I hope they actually post it officially tonight so I can start planning my schedule properly for the next six months or so.

I also wish they'd tell me if I'm going to the Olympics to work or not. If I do, it's possible I'll be there for six weeks running, so I have to know ahead of time so I can figure out what to do with the cats while I'm gone. Six weeks is a long time to ask people to come by and look after them, but it's also really long to board them all to the tune of several hundred dollars a week. Right now I'm thinking of asking someone (not that I know who) to come and housesit while I'm gone.

Of course, the Olympics will also take me away right when I ought to be prepping seeds for the garden, but that's a lesser concern right now.

Between constantly losing my camera cable and being really busy at work, I never got around to posting pictures of the garden.

There are a lot, but here's a sampling:

( Pictures behind the cut! )

There are three things which have done well in the garden this year: the lettuce, the basil and the cherries. On Sunday moonandtree and I made delicious pesto and had it with rotini. There are no words to describe how wonderful it tasted.

Today I finally got my act together and picked the cherries from the tree. I had to leave some behind: a couple were way too high for me to reach, and a bunch of them looked... well, like something had snacked on them. Extensively. A little blemish is fine, but if half the cherry is gone and the other half is turning brown and dripping, well, let's just say I'm not quite that brave. ;)

There are a fair number of cherries this year. I thought there were many last year too, but ai731 says that this is the first year the cherry tree has produced significant amounts of fruit. In any case, a half-hour's worth of work has produced a large bowl of cherries. I haven't measured them out, but I estimate I have 3-4 cups' worth. I'm not sure if that's average for a mature tree or not, but it should certainly be enough to make pie or clafoutis.

Now, if only the rest of the garden would catch up. I think I shall go harvest some lettuce for lunch, too.

Me: *turns back on garden for half a minute*

Rain: *falls for ten days*

Me: *glares at rain*

Rain: *stops, albeit grudgingly*

Garden: *sprouts virgin rainforest of weeds overnight*

Me: *arms self with garden tools*

Weeds: "Aieeee!"

Me: *starts weeding determinedly*

Very Large Weed Tree: "Ack! NO! STOP! I'm not a weed! I'm a... uh... decorative vine. Yeah, that's it. A decorative vine. You totally don't want to uproot me."

Me: "Oh yeah? You look awfully like a weed tree to me."

VLWT: "No no no. I can't be a weed tree. See how I'm growing horizontally and not vertically? Totally a vine. Put the trowel down."

Me: "So if you're a vine, how come you're growing under the porch?"

VLWT: "Uh... I like the shade. Yeah. Shade. I'm totally not a weed tree. See how I'm all thin and stuff? I couldn't be a weed tree. If I were, then my roots would be growing right under your house... and... crap. I just gave myself away, didn't I?"

Me: "Yep." *uproots the tree*


I've just spent an hour weeding the teeny-weeny front yard. The back yard is not as badly infested, but it's about ten times as big. This ought to be interesting. At least the front yard no longer looks like a vacant lot.

Also, why is it that people feel it is appropriate to TOSS THEIR TRASH into my front yard? I'm sorry, how does a garden in any way shape or form resemble a trash can?!? GAH!

I will update on the state of the vegetables in my next post.