mousme: A text icon, dark green text on pale green, that reads There is no normal life. There's just life. (No Normal Life)
WE MADE IT.

The sellers got us the necessary paperwork so that I am not legally responsible for their financial shenanigans. Wafik was not in the office today, but I was able to get hold of Peggy, the person who got my mortgage approved a couple of months ago, and after a nerve-wracking five hours I was finally able to go to the downtown branch of the credit union and get the bank draft I needed.

I then drove like a bat out of hell to Alexandria in an attempt to get the thing to my lawyer. She told me she needed it by 2:30pm or 3:00pm at the very latest, and unfortunately I was not able to bend the laws of space and time to get there on time, but I did get there at 3:15, which is honestly a fucking miracle.

Then my lawyer pulled a miracle out of her ass and managed to register everything at 4:59pm (you can't register anything past 5pm) and joked that I was the record-holder for that.

So I now own a house! Or, rather, I now am responsible for a mortgage that allows me to live in a house! YAY! There is a lockbox on the door, apparently, where I can get the house keys, so we will be checking that on Thursday when we start bringing stuff to the house ahead of the movers. I want to bring a lot of my gardening equipment (the loose stuff that's hard to pack), all of our plants, and a bunch of the loose stuff that's in the basement.

KK finally started packing over the weekend, and I am trying super hard not to micromanage her, but it is so hard to resist. For all that she is super organized about a ton of things in life, she is absolute dogshit at packing. She actually packed up most of the packing supplies! Like, WHY. We aren't even close to done, why would you pack up all but one Sharpie and one boxcutter? Bonkers. Her method of packing is also super haphazard, AND she hasn't been properly labelling the boxes. Yes, she's identifying which room they go in, but she hasn't been listing the contents on the outside like a normal person. Right now she has something like five boxes labelled "desk stuff." Not only that, but she is using up so much money's worth of packing supplies (paper and bubble wrap and the like) that we ran out after she packed fewer than four boxes of dishes from her china cabinet. I was honestly flummoxed when she said we'd run out this morning. I expected her to use some of it before I came home, but ALL of it? Good fucking Lord. *screams in frustration*

At least she has agreed to buy more packing supplies for us tomorrow and picked up more bubble wrap and paper today (she also went through half of that, which is mind-boggling to me), because so far I have paid for everything in this move: the supplies, the movers, and the professional organizer, not to mention the house itself and the lawyer's fees. So it's nice that she's finally contributing a bit. She has plans to pitch in for moving costs using her tax return, which she still hasn't submitted for last year's taxes (she is also terrible at filing her taxes on time), but that won't happen until at least next week, so I'm not counting on that.

In short, I am trying to stay out of her way while she packs, and am concentrating on other areas of the house. I lost a lot of packing time to all of the legal and financial shenanigans over the past few days, but I have very generous friends coming tomorrow to help, so I am going to ask them to help KK pack up the kitchen, and I am going to give explicit instructions on how to label the boxes so that I know what's in them when we move. Then while they're working on the main floor I will tackle my bedroom and the "cat room.," which is mostly books and my office supplies. If I work very hard I might be able to get the "cat room" completely done and put a significant dent in my bedroom. I really hope so, because otherwise I basically only have Wednesday to get everything else packed up, because Thursday we'll be loading up the U-Haul truck I rented to bring the aforementioned stuff to the property, and Friday is moving day, so 99% of the packing needs to be done before Friday morning hits.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention that, while I was gone today, Pixie busted out of her collar in the back yard and took off after a rabbit. KK messaged me to let me know it happened, and of course I was still 30 minutes away and could do fuck-all about it. Luckily KK was able to find her pretty quickly and entice her into the car once she'd run herself ragged. That shaved another few years off my life too, stupid dog. It would have been just our luck for her to be hit by a car and killed mere days before she gets a whole four acres to romp around. Christ.

I am going to stop here. I was so stressed out last night that I didn't fall asleep until nearly 1:00am, and as a result I am completely fried today. So I'm going to try to be asleep before 11:00pm. That's not super early by my standards anyway, but it's nearly 10:00pm now, so I can't expect miracles.

Catch you on the flip side, friends!
mousme: A turquoise twenty-sided die that has landed on "1." The caption reads: "Shit." (Natural One)
The house buying nightmares continue.

I have my financial ducks almost in a row. Almost. And now, the ducks are scattering again.

I spoke to my mortgage/credit union guy (Wafik) on Thursday. He was very understanding while I panicked at him, and he promised that if I could get all the money transferred to my new checking account by Monday, he would personally oversee getting the transfer expedited/waiving the usual hold on funds, and ensure I get the bank draft I need to give the lawyer on Monday.

So I moved heaven and earth to get everything done, and I did. I got the last of the money transferred on Friday evening, and received the usual warnings about the time it could take to get it all done. In light of this, I decided to send Wafik an email today (originally I was going to wait until tomorrow but then I worried I'd forget or send it too late or something) as a follow-up about our conversation and to confirm that all was well. And that's how I discovered he has an out of office message saying he'll be back on Wednesday.

Notice how Wednesday is not Monday? Yeah, me too.

So I have been quietly having a panic attack at my desk all morning. I am not prone to panic attacks, but I am pretty sure the chest pain and palpitations are exactly that, because there's no other good reason for it (and it started the minute I got the out of office message, so it's not a coincidence). I am accustomed to a constant low-level buzz of anxiety, but it doesn't usually manifest in this kind of physical symptoms. I cannot say I am enjoying the experience.

There is absolutely fuck-all I can do about this situation today, because it is Sunday, and nothing is open. My deadline is tomorrow, and if Wafik is not in the office to do the thing he promised he'd do, then I am fucked six ways to next Sunday. So the only thing I can do for the next 19 hours or so is panic quietly. Tomorrow I plan to call him first thing in the morning, and if he doesn't pick up his phone, my backup plan is to call my original mortgage advisor (I don't think that's her actual title, but I don't know it so this will suffice) Peggy and very politely weep at her until she finds someone local to help me. See, Peggy, unlike Wafik, is NOT local, but lives somewhere around Barrie, ON, so it means that even if she wanted to help me, she cannot physically place a bank draft in my hands.

*rips out hair*

*internal screaming*

I honestly thought that the financial part of the nightmare was over and that I just had to deal with the sellers' shenanigans, for which my lawyer has a plan. But now the person who committed to helping me has just swanned off without even the courtesy of letting me know, so fuck me, I guess. I have already spent so much money on this move on packing supplies and on the packing help, the house is halfway packed up, and I have abandoned my plot in the community garden so that if we don't move, I can't grow vegetables this summer and all the plants I ordered are going to die. Not to mention the crushing disappointment of losing out on a dream property literally five days before we're meant to move in.

FUCK.

mousme: A text icon in black text on yellow that reads The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote (Avalanche)
 Well, the good-ish news is that I think I've got a good chance of getting all my financial ducks in a row by Monday. A whole bunch of people have pulled together at various financial institutions to help me make this happen, and so while it's not guaranteed/a done deal, I have done everything within my power to make it a reality. I am reasonably confident it will work out.

So, yay for that!

Unfortunately, that's where the good news ends. I went to see my real estate lawyer to sign all the paperwork for the closing on Monday, and got some more bad news.

It turns out that the sellers are leveraged up to their eyeballs. They have two mortgages on the property, neither of which have been paid at all, and they conveniently did not disclose that the central A/C unit they supposedly own is not actually paid for, and the property has a lien on it as a result. None of this is a problem per se, because the sale agreement stipulates that I am not responsible for any liens on the property. However, they and/or their lawyer have not provided all the proper legal documentation that stipulates that they are taking responsibility for the lien and all of the debt. Without those documents, I can't sign the closing on the house because I'd run the chance of taking on the liability, which I do not want at all, no thank you.

The sellers have until Monday (the official closing date) to produce said documentation. If they don't, we're in a bit of trouble. My lawyer has said we can close on Tuesday at the latest. Otherwise, she will petition for occupancy if they don't cough up the paperwork, meaning KK and I can move in on Friday as planned, but we will not own the house until such time as all the paperwork is in order. If we don't get occupancy, in theory the sellers would be on the hook for any expenses we incur while we don't move (like needing to live in a hotel, putting our stuff in storage, etc.), but my lawyer rightfully pointed out that, given the sellers' financial status, "you can't get water from a stone."

Blargh.

It feels like the universe is trying to shave several decades out of my life from sheer anxiety. Weirdly, I am less stressed out about this than I was about the financial bullshit that happened yesterday. Finances are a big red panic button issue for me, but legal documentation doesn't appear to fall into the same category. I won't know until Monday if the sellers have produced all the necessary documentation, so I guess I get to worry about it all weekend. Hurray.

Okay. Time to go feed and water the quail, and then head to bed, since I'm working all weekend. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
mousme: A turquoise twenty-sided die that has landed on "1." The caption reads: "Shit." (Natural One)
I'm not even going to attempt a full post today, because I am tired but mostly frustrated. Here is a list, in some semblance of order.

1- Brittany the professional organizer only stayed half a day due to not feeling well. Not a huge problem, and I'm not going to force someone to work when they're sick. It turned out to have a silver lining, too, as you will see.

2- The real estate lawyer finally contacted me, and told me my appointment to get everything signed, sealed, and delivered is tomorrow afternoon.

3- The lawyer casually informed me that I'd need a bank draft ready by tomorrow (less than 24 hours' notice). If she'd answered any of my emails last week or earlier this week I might have had a snowball's chance in hell of getting the money out of my various accounts, but as it stands, 24 is not nearly enough time.

4- I forfeited my afternoon chasing after all my bank stuff, and have only sort of managed to get it sorted. It took hours and an in-person visit to one of the branches, and I most likely still won't be able to get everything by tomorrow. It's like the lawyer who specializes in real estate has no idea how banks work.

5- I spent the remaining time on the phone with insurance companies, because my current insurer wanted to charge me nearly $800 a month for my home insurance, which is WILD. It's more than a mortgage payment! Just bonkers.

6- My mortgage person called and needs more documents signed.

7- My internet provider called to let me know that, contrary to what they told us, they do NOT service the area we're moving to, so I won't have internet service starting next Friday.

I am wiped out. I have no idea if the lawyers will accept the situation as it is, and if they don't I may end up with no house, after spending a lot of time and energy and getting emotionally invested, and I just don't know how to feel about it all right now. I am tired and frustrated and filled with anxiety because there is nothing I can do beyond what I've already done and hope for the best.

So that was today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Catch you on the flip side, friends!
mousme: A text icon in pale blue that reads Winter is Coming (Winter is Coming)
I am very grumpy about having to get up early to go to the credit union to sign all my mortgage paperwork. The experience wasn't terrible, but it didn't have much going for it. First I got caught in long weekend rush hour traffic on my way there, and arrived exactly on the nose, only to get very turned around because not a single solitary door had a number or a label on it. It turned out the office wasn't even accessible from the main building lobby, it had a separate entrance at the back of the building. I had to call the representative for directions, and he came to get me.

The representative was very nice, but he had not anticipated having the kind of client who carefully reads all documentation before signing it, so it took a lot longer to get through the appointment than the time he'd budgeted. I regret nothing. ;) However, there was a glitch in the computer system when it came time to sign up for the insurance portion of the mortgage, and there was no way to fix it, since the automated system had gone into "weekend mode" (his term) and there was no one from IT available outside of office hours. So in order not to delay the payout of the mortgage I had to waive the insurance portion, which makes me very uncomfy, but the representative assured me that we can fix that next week.

All in all, I did not enjoy the process.

I've been mostly talking about my own problems here lately, but the world continues to be on fire. Carney, our new Prime Minister, went on an official visit to the White House last week, and to all appearances held his own with a fair bit of aplomb. There was an entertaining amount of Canadian passive-aggressiveness, some very amusing side-eyes at the camera, and lots of backhanded compliments that Trump took completely at face value. 

I still have a lot of doubts about Carney. His focus has been mostly on the economy and fixing the housing crisis, and he's pledged to massively increase defense spending and car manufacturing, and needless to say, I don't share those priorities, especially not car manufacturing. Given the current climate change crisis, we should be moving well away from cars and investing in robust public transit and 15-minute accessible cities. But noooo, cars uber alles, I guess. Ugh. He's also eliminated the cabinet positions devoted to people with disabilities and women and gender equality issues, which is a huge step back for the country, especially given the meagre progress we've made on that front to begin with. I am really unimpressed with that.

At least India and Pakistan appear to have backed off plunging the entire world into nuclear winter. The USA continues its horrendous slide into fascism, with the firing of the Librarian of Congress (the first black woman to ever occupy the post, appointed by Obama, back when the world still seemed sane), ICE grabbing people off the streets and leaving their minor children stranded there, and DOGE continuing to wreak havoc across all government departments.

Watching the USA go down like this feels a little like watching a friend who was always a little unstable succumb to a drug addiction. You always worried about them in the past, and now you're worried that not only are they going to self-destruct, they're going to take you down with them and burn your house down too for good measure.

*sigh*

I am really looking forward to my bed. I have about four and a half hours before my shift is over, and I do want to stop at the local U-Haul store (luckily a five-minute drive from my house) and pick up more boxes, because Monday is a statutory holiday and I won't be able to get them then. And then I plan to do all the sleeping.

I think that's it for now. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Default)
I think I am paying for all of the "lack" of sleep from the past few weeks. Today was lost to feeling like absolute garbage most of the day. I have two more sleeps until I go to the sleep specialist on Monday morning and probably get told that I need a CPAP, and then the plan is to get ahold of a local CPAP provider as soon as humanly possible, because I am so tired of feeling tired. Right now would be the perfect time for a bit of extra energy, too, as I have to pack up the house.

I have been trying to get through the industrial quantity of borscht I made last Thursday, and it's officially down to a dull roar. I will have some left over for work next week, too, which is nice, as long as I don't spill it on my clothes. I have yet to find a reliable way to get beet juice stains out of clothing. 

I have Quaker Meeting tomorrow, and after that I may work on de-cluttering my bedroom in anticipation of packing things. I am slowly trying to convince myself that I should part with my dining room set, which I've had for 16 years now and was my first "grown-up" purchase when I joined the RCMP. I love it so much, but there is nowhere to put it in the new house. There's no dining room to speak of, and the kitchen has a huge built-in island/table thing. I kind of want to just wrap all of it securely in plastic and store it in one of the outbuildings on the off chance that one day we'll have enough money to put an extension on the house, but that's probably super unrealistic. 

Actually, since the garage will eventually have to be torn down, I am mentally toying with the idea of creating a secondary residence, like an in-law suite, with whatever building we end up putting there. I was thinking perhaps a quonset hut would be useful since they're not super expensive and can be adapted to any number of uses. I want to put in essentially a fully functioning guest house, with bedroom(s), bathroom, kitchenette, etc. But that's a huge and expensive project that is for a future me who hasn't just spent all her money buying a house. ;)

Man, I am doing a terrible job of convincing myself I don't need a dining room set. :P

I have so many plans, and so little free money with which to implement them. I do love building castles in Spain, though, it's one of my favourite hobbies, because it's completely free. Eventually I'd love to build a fully functional outdoor kitchen or maybe just a summer kitchen, one in which I can do large-scale processing of fruit and vegetables and meat. Having either a summer kitchen or an outdoor kitchen would make things a bit easier, because it's extremely hot work and it turns the house into an absolute oven, even with air conditioning. 

Of course, I have some immediate expenses I have to figure out as well right after the move. We need fencing for the dogs, and the house needs gutters in order to not, oh, rot from the bottom up over time. I can afford one of those two things right away, but very likely not both, unless I can manage to get one done remarkably cheaply. *sigh* Being an adult is difficult.

Okay, once again, it is time for bed. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
mousme: A picture of Wol from Winnie the Pooh, holding a note that reads "Gon Out. Backson. Bizy. Backson." (Back Soon)
Yes, I am back-dating this post by one hour so it shows up as being written on April 5th instead of the 6th. It's nearly 1am but it doesn't count as tomorrow because I haven't gone to bed yet. My reasoning is flawless and I will not be taking questions at this time.

So, I may have bought quail at the bird auction. Ahem. They are SO CUTE. I will attempt a longer post about this tomorrow because a lot happened today and I desperately need to go to bed and get some sleep, even if it's crappy sleep. But yes, I bought quail. The lot I bid for and won was a mix of three males and three hens, and they appear to be in pretty good health, although it's obvious the females have been overbred because their backs are in various stages of denudement. Poor biddies. I have separated them for now to give the poor hens a break from their overzealous boyfriends, and the six of them are in quarantine in the laundry room where they will stay for the next two weeks. I don't want them in contact with the cats just in case they're carrying bird flu, which cats are highly susceptible to (at least the current variants of H5N1 floating around out there). 

I visited Dylan and Sarah, who very kindly supplied me with a couple of days' worth of layer feed and some hardware cloth to put over the Rubbermaid bin in which the birds will be spending their quarantine time, and I gave them a bunch of booze that I decluttered from my kitchen last week. The booze was still good, it just wasn't likely to ever get drunk at my house, so now it has gone to a good home where it will be appreciated. 

I came home and got the quail settled and then did the Quaker announcements, and then had the misfortune of checking my emails, all of which had semi-bad news about the house purchase. Namely, all of the emails involve my having to jump through more expensive and flaming hoops in the hopes of getting the financing completely approved for the house. The desktop appraisal now costs $40 because there's acreage, even though it's a DESKTOP appraisal, meaning no one is actually physically going out to the property and they are all staying at their DESKS, so I can't see how adding some land on top of that makes their job THAT much more difficult or complicated. They gave me the option to decline the extra charge, but of course that means they won't perform the appraisal, so they're holding my house purchase hostage unless I pay them more money.

Also, my beloved father insists that he can't get a pdf statement of his bank records because his bank "doesn't give him the option." Except he and I use the same bank, and I have personally obtained pdf statements of my bank records from the online banking site. IT'S NOT HARD. But my father is eighty-three years old, and this is kind of what happens once technology gets a little bit more complicated than you can wrap your brain around. I have noticed it happening to me too with things like TikTok and video editing software: I can manage the very basics, but the bells and whistles are beyond me unless someone sits with me and takes the time to explain things. So I think the best but unfortunately inconvenient solution is to go to Montreal tomorrow and physically show him how to do it, and to also have him sign the letter saying he is giving me the money in person, so that I can then just scan everything myself as a pdf to send to my mortgage broker.

*lies on the floor*

And my mortgage broker still wants me to provide my quarterly statement for my RRSP for the first quarter of the year, which the bank HASN'T PRODUCED YET. I am not sure how she thinks I can influence an entire financial institution to move up their timeline for documents just for my benefit. News flash: they do not give two wet shits about me or my piddly little RRSP. 

*rips out hair and rolls around on the floor for a bit*

So yeah, Today has been a bit of a mixed bag. XD


mousme: A turquoise twenty-sided die that has landed on "1." The caption reads: "Shit." (Natural One)
 I exaggerate a bit for effect, obviously. But nonetheless, the instructions feel very mean, because I am not supposed to spend more than seven hours in bed the night before my sleep study (which is tonight), and that is GROSS, especially for a Saturday morning, when I usually get to sleep in and compensate for the fact that I'm constantly tired and sleep deprived. That means at best six hours of sleep, which makes me so sad to think about. I am going to be dragging all day tomorrow.

They say it's to ensure I sleep during the study, and all I can say is, it better fucking work! If I get there and can't sleep after forcing myself to not sleep for as long as I want to, I shall be annoyed.

I'm still excited for the sleep study, though, not gonna lie. I really, REALLY want to know if that's the reason I'm an unmotivated zombie most of the time.

In other news, I had a reasonably productive day today. I got up at 2:15 to watch the eclipse, and it was SUPER COOL. One of my neighbours also came out to view it, and we shared an amicable greeting and then just watched the eclipse in silence. It was pretty chilly, so I didn't stay outside for the full half hour that the moon was fully covered, but it was still pretty awesome.

I did kind of pay for my nerdiness, though. I was cold and wide awake until nearly 4:30, so I overslept until nearly 8:00 after that. I did make yoghurt in the Instant Pot that seems to be turning out okay. I will know for sure tomorrow morning when I taste it. It will be plain and unsweetened, so I'm sure it'll be a little on the tangy side, but that's what sugar and flavouring is for. If it works I am pretty excited about being able to make our own yoghurt at home. It's not much cheaper than just buying yoghurt, to be fair, but it's kind of cool to be able to do it.

I also went to see my doctor and got my blood test requisition, and I picked up my new worm friends who are now nicely settled in their new worm home. They already have a selection of delectable chopped up remnants of Brussels sprouts to nom, so hopefully that will keep them happy for now. I also harvested a second crop of Lion's Mane mushrooms from my grow kit. The pink oysters didn't fare well this time, and I think it's because I didn't harvest them properly last time. I think I did a better job this time around, so hopefully I'll get a good third crop out of them both. Oh, and I picked up a can of tripe for the dogs at Pet Valu, in the hopes that I can use that to replace the probiotics in their food (which is, alas, an American product).

I didn't get my seedlings started, because I opted for a nap instead, and then made dinner for me and KK. The dogs lost their ever-loving minds over the tripe, so as long as it doesn't mess up their digestion I will see if it's financially worth switching over to that more long term. It costs about $6.50 for a large-ish can, but the probiotics they dogs get currently cost about $90 a month, so as long as I'm using less than 13 cans a month, it will end up being a savings for us.

Speaking of savings, KK has signed us up (with my permission) for new home and car insurance, which will save me about $30 a month and her considerably more. She wasn't planning to change, but she missed too many payments for her previous insurance provider and they cancelled her coverage. She hasn't been refused coverage for the new place, luckily, and since it will now come out automatically from the joint account it should be fine. I'm a little concerned about her finances, but I'm not her mother, and as long as she pays into the joint account on time I don't really have anything to say about it. If we get another month of her not being able to pay rent, however, we're going to have a Come to Jesus talk about paying rent before buying cool new crafting supplies.

Okay. It's nearly time for sleep. My current plan is to have lights out at midnight so that I can get up around 7:00, because getting up earlier just sounds rude at this point. See you on the flip side, friends!
mousme: A text icon in black text on yellow that reads The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote (Avalanche)
Yesterday an internet meme destroyed a hedge fund.

Okay, I am being flippant, but you have to admit, it's pretty cool. Right up front, I wish to be clear: I do NOT understand the stock market. It's always been a whole bunch of wealthy people playing with imaginary money in order to make themselves more wealthy, and often ruining the lives of regular people in the process because they engage in SUPER FUCKING SHADY practices.

Case in point: shorting stock. The nutshell version is that the hedge fund in question (and others) decided to short the stock of GameStop, which has been in peril for a little while due to their business model (they're from the era of brick-and-mortar stores and are poised to try to go digital, but I am honestly not sure how well they're doing with that). However, they shorted the stock by more than 100%, and some observant people on Reddit (the subreddit r/wallstreetbets to be precise) noticed it. Those observant people made, as I understand it, a bunch of jokes/memes along the lines of "LOL wouldn't it be hilarious if we all started buying GameStop stock and made the price skyrocket, because it would really fuck over that hedge fund!"

And, uh, it worked. The meme caught on, people started buying stock using apps like Robinhood (which allow amateurs to play the stock market without commission fees), and the stock price went from somewhere around $17 at the beginning of the year to over $400 the last time I checked. Wall Street freaked out. The USA freaked out. Wall Street tried to appeal to the government, and suddenly social media went from "Hey, isn't this a fun prank" to "BLEED THE RICH UNTIL THEY'RE READY TO BE EATEN!" More and more small investors jumped on board, and a lot of the early buyers made bank. There are some really incredible stories coming out about people eliminating student or medical debt, of making enough money to pay for long-term care for their chronically ill loved ones, all sorts of things. It's mind-blowing, mostly because it's such an object lesson in how money and investments SHOULD be spent: on improving people's lives, and not on making the hyper-wealthy even wealthier.

Anyway, Shit Went Down because suddenly the Robinhood app mysteriously decided to stop people from trading... something-something-technicality-something-I-didn't-understand-because-stock-market. ANYWAY, basically the hyper-wealthy are applying pressure every which way they can, and it's not working super well for them this time around. The main hedge fund that shorted GameStop has lost billions of dollars. I saw a screencap of a post by someone named Zi Teng Wang which said, among other things: "It turns out that wealth does trickle down, you just have to make them bleed first," and DAMN, SIR.

I STILL don't understand how shorting a stock can be legal. How can you sell something that you don't own? (Multiple people have explained it to me, and just... if you are renting something, you should not be able to sell it, because it does not belong to you. What the fuck even.)

I meant to write about other things today, but I felt I should note this for my future self to read and remember how absolutely bananas this month has been.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Rainbow Socks)
Hey hey, I have successfully been on this earth for 42 of its rotations around the sun! For this year I can claim to be the answer to life, the universe, and everything. And yes, I know where my towel is.

 I am starting this post much later than I intended due to a slightly late day at work followed by a Skype call with my parents (for my birthday, of course), so I don't know how much detail I'll get into. Maybe the post will get away from me, the way they are sometimes wont to do.

In my mind I'm sort of splitting things up into projects, goals, and habits. They're all going to be kind of intertwined anyway, because building habits allows you to work on projects and attain goals, but whatever. It's all still a bit of an amorphous mess. I often do a lot of my "processing" by either  talking or writing things out, because things are always clearer outside my head than in, so don't be surprised if that's what ends up happening here.

Resolutions and Plans )

And that's it! There's a lot there, but I'm not planning an overnight 100% overhaul of myself. My therapist likes to tell me that it's important to approach things with the mentality of a scientist and treat everything like an experiment. Hypothesis, test, conclusion. Lather, rinse, repeat until you find what works. It's a process, and I am excited to get started.
mousme: A picture of the muppet Forgetful Jones from Sesame Street (Forgetful Jones)
 I don't know why I constantly overestimate my level of energy to get things done. I am an eternal optimist, I guess. Anyway, I got a fair bit done this week. I got 95% of my errands done (I forgot a couple of things, because I was silly and didn't make a proper list), I got a tree which I will decorate probably tomorrow evening, I had my therapy appointment and got my blood tests done this morning. All in all, it wasn't too bad.

Very, VERY boring daily stuff under the cut. )

mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Delusions of Grandeur)
I don't think I could possibly catch up on everything that's happened since I last posted here, so I won't even try. That being said, there's stuff coming up that I may want to blog about in more depth, so making a bit of an effort now is in order.

First off, hi LJ Land! I haven't been posting, but I do read everything you write. <3

Anyway, have a bullet-point version of the past few months:

  • I adopted three new cats in February. It was meant to be two, but then [livejournal.com profile] fearsclave was forced to rehome his kitties due to health concerns, and so I got his Maggie as well. Alas, one of the other two cats I got is not integrating into the household, so he will be vacating the premises and going to live with good friends of mine. So far all the cats mostly get along, with some spats and negotiating of territory still happening. Things are settling down slowly but surely.

  • I am still volunteering in the soup kitchen at Shepherd's (I won't use the full name, because I don't want their media relations people reading all my posts), and have also started volunteering one day a week at their community garden plot, helping to grow and harvest vegetables for the soup kitchen. I still love it, although the work is often physically very demanding.

  • I went on a trip to Barcelona with my parents in March, which was far too short but truly wonderful. I posted lots of pictures on Facebook, so anyone following me there probably saw them.

  • The work restructuring continues apace. It is, as I suspected, a PITA, and has resulted in a lot more work being given to much fewer people. Those people are also the ones who are paid the least, not surprisingly. It appears every workplace is the same when it comes to penny pinching: the higher up you are, the less you feel the pinch.

  • I also managed to escape to PEI for a while this summer, also with my parents. I've joked with them that we've seen more of each other since I moved to Ottawa than in the past five years I lived in Montreal combined. That's not quite true, but they have been making extra efforts to come out and see me (and vice versa!) since I moved.

  • The past two years of commuting to and from work in Ottawa, as well as trying to run two households on one income, paying for private daycare, and then renovating the house in order to sell it, all took a pretty serious financial toll on me. The short, ugly version is that I accumulated a fair bit of debt in order to do that. So I've been tightening my belt (the two trips notwithstanding, although in both cases my parents were generous enough to pay for almost everything) and looking for extra sources of income. I'm currently trying my hand at being a mystery shopper. It doesn't bring in a fortune, and it's not super great work for someone with anxiety, but I'm hoping it will at least offset some of my monthly bills. Every little bit helps, right? I also need to get my act together and try to sell some of the "extra" furniture that doesn't fit in my new, smaller house.

  • In happier, not debt-filled news, I have been approved by the Ottawa Children's Aid Society to continue with PRIDE training (Parental Resources for Information, Development, and Education) as well as a home study. The training starts on September 9th, and if all goes well I should be done with everything by the end of October. If I'm approved as a prospective adoptive parents after that, then I get to start the waiting game of being matched up with a child (or maybe children!) in need of a permanent home.

So that's me in a nutshell. I may be using this space to talk about the PRIDE training in September and October, so apologies in advance to everyone who finds that sort of stuff super boring. I promise to put it behind a cut if it gets overly long. :)

I know lots of you have been having a really rough year. I hope you're all keeping as well as possible under the circumstances. *hugs all around*
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (If Life Were Fair)
Sleep has decided that it is not for me. Between the literal pain in my neck and some other factors, I am looking at another three hours of waiting until Bean and [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter get up for the day. So I'm using the time to catch up on Orphan Black, which is getting better with each passing episode. I can't express how much I love this show, and Tatiana Maslany is phenomenal. She basically carries this whole show, and plays anywhere from three to five characters per episode, which just makes my head spin. She always manages to make me forget that it's always her playing these people, because she makes them so different from each other, hair and makeup aside. Granted, she has great writing to work with, but still, even great writing needs a great actress to make it come to life, and this show delivers on both.

The vet decided it would be awesome to send me a card with some of George's fur taped inside it and his paw prints in ink alongside their condolences. I wasn't expecting to see that when I opened the envelope (honestly, I was expecting a reminder for Sergent's surgery), and I almost burst into tears. It might be a nice gesture if your cat died peacefully, but really all it did was stir up the horrific trauma of watching him get his head bashed in by a car and then bleeding to death in my arms. Thanks, vet. That was so thoughtful. >_< Also, it means they must have taken the prints off his corpse. Who even does that? It's gruesome. Christ.

This morning the guys are supposed to show up to build the fence. I really hope they get it done today in spite of what appears to be a suspicious lack of garden gate included with the delivery of the materials in my absence. It sounds like before they start they're going to expect me to saw off several branches of my lilac tree, which is going to be interesting given how much my neck and shoulder hurt. :P Once they're set up and busy building, my plan is to go to Réno Dépot and give them an earful about how rude their subcontractor was with me. This whole situation has been a bit of a shambles ever since I left for Moncton, and I am very displeased with the level of service I received. While I'm there I guess I'll pick up the remaining paving slab I need for the yard. Also, does anyone have any tips on splitting a paving slab diagonally? I have a weirdly shaped empty spot in my arrangement of paving slabs, and if I split one right down the middle it would likely fit almost perfectly, but I have no idea how to do that.  I should pick up a couple of bags of soil and some grass seed for the area around the slabs, too, to make it look a little better.

If they get here early enough I'm also going to take part of the afternoon to take myself clothes shopping (blech). It's a necessary evil, I suppose. My summer wardrobe is no longer appropriate for work at all. It's shabby and worn and most of it has holes in it now. *sigh* If not, I guess the clothes will have to wait until Wednesday, since everything will be closed on Tuesday.

I also have to chase down the guy for the basement floor, because I damned well need to get this house sold and he's been ignoring my calls for two weeks. As it is, my real estate agent tells me that the market dips right after St. Jean Baptiste, so that ship has sailed. At this point I'm wondering if I'm going to need to resign myself to the notion of losing my damned shirt on this house and continuing to haemorrhage money for the foreseeable future. All I can do is hope that I can make it through the next eleven and a half months without going bankrupt or ruining my credit permanently, or both. Although going bankrupt would ruin my credit permanently, I suppose. I don't know, I'm tired and my brain is fried. :P

I am feeling guilty about not using the time I'm awake to get some creative writing done, but honestly I don't have the focus for it right now. The best I can manage is this really disjointed LJ entry. So, uh, lucky you guys, you get to read my 3am ramblings! Isn't that exciting?

That's it for now, I suppose. I can't think of anything else to say.

:::ETA:::

I just remembered I need to go to U-Haul and buy boxes today so I can start packing, too. Tomorrow it'll be closed, and I want to pack then anyway as well as Wednesday, so the longer I wait the less time I'll have for that this week.

Also, laundry. I am in desperate need of a shower, so once everyone is awake I'll take a shower and then do all the laundry. If I can get everything on my list for today done, it will free up the next couple of days for the things that can't be moved around, like birthday parties and vet appointments and dinner with my parents on Wednesday.

So, yeah. Busy busy busy.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Sergent)
We've been having trouble with the dog, as I mentioned before. Last week he stole a sealed Ziplock bag of fifteen muffins off the counter and ate them all, did the same with half a box of Tim Horton's doughnuts, and has been sneaking the cat food when he thinks we're not looking. He's gained about five pounds over the winter, too, which is really bad for his arthritis. It was getting to the point where I would get home and the first thing I'd hear about was the myriad ways in which the dog had misbehaved during my absence.

When I got home on Friday, he was limping noticeably, favouring his right front leg. He's injured this leg a few times in the past, but hadn't done anything to it recently, so I figured his arthritis might be getting worse. I dutifully took an appointment with the vet for yesterday, since I don't want my dog to be in pain. Before the arthritis had manifested as stiffness, so we were managing it with diet and exercise, but if it's more than that we need to look at pain management. I also figured I would address the new "behavioural" problem in case it was a medical problem, as [livejournal.com profile] ai731 suggested. It hand't occurred to me before, but it made sense.

So, nearly two hours at the vet's later, there were x-rays and blood tests and thermometers jammed in unfortunate places. Sergent was not a happy camper. We need to wait for the blood tests to come back, but the vet suspects either a thyroid problem or maybe diabetes. The x-rays did't reveal any worsening of the arthritis, though, which is a good thing in all of this mess.

Of course, the vet visit cleaned me out of the last few "spare" dollars I had. I had managed to clear a bit of space on my credit card, but that's now gone, and I am a little worried about what the beginning of next month is going to look like. *sigh* If the dog has diabetes, we're looking at a crapton of expensive medication that I will somehow have to find a way to pay for out of my already non-existent money. I am really hoping he doesn't have any kind of terrible long-term illness, because I don't want him to be sick and I also don't want to have to figure out how to pay for the new medication.

Oy.

Anyway, today is a commute day. This week I'm coming back for Bean's birthday and then going back again. I'm happy to be able to be at his party but also a little concerned about where the money for the extra gas I need to use is going to come from. Isn't worrying about finances awesome?

Okay. So. Now that I have watched the Teen Wolf finale and I am not chewing off my own fingers in frustration at the show, I need to pack up my things and go.

Varia

Feb. 10th, 2014 12:26 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Reason is a Flawed Tool)
I don't have specific subject matter for today's post, so have a series of unrelated paragraphs!

1- Bean is still sick. It's been six straight days of staying home with Mama now, and I think they're both going a little stir-crazy. I'm told that the doctor can't see him until tomorrow, which means a whole week of being kept home from school, and of [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter not being able to go to school herself as well. At this point it has to be something like an ear infection, which Bean seems to be unable to shake on his own, so hopefully antibiotics will clear that right up. Luckily, Bean is incredibly good about taking his "ear intekshun tedditzin" and so we never have to fight him on that. Small mercies.

2- I have the dentist today. Again. In spite of my insurance I'm sort of running out of money for this. I think that after this the rest of the dental work will have to wait for a while. There's even less money than usual this month. I'm always stressed about money, but when there's less than half the money that I expected coming in, it puts a serious dent in the budget. We're fine for now, but next month's daycare payment is beginning to worry me.

3- I really hope these next two days turn out better than the weekend. I blame the Olympics for how badly shit has hit the fan. Normally nights and weekends are pretty quiet, but I've been putting out fires since Friday, and I am exhausted. It's been a long string of problems that I don't know how to solve, so I've been run off my feet the whole time, and yesterday I left an hour late. 13-hour days are not my favourite thing, let me tell you.

4- My body clock helpfully woke me up at 3:40 this morning. "Time to get up to go to work!" it said gleefully. Of course, today is a night shift. I went back to sleep, but woke every couple of hours until I resigned myself to the inevitable and got out of bed. The morning has been quiet, at least, before I head out to the dentist, but I have a headache building which Advil and Tylenol aren't doing much to shift. I hope it goes away sooner rather than later.

5- There is no spoon. Or a number 5. Sorry. If I think of something else, I'll post again. Might go back to my old ways of multiple LJ posts a day. Shock! Horror! Actually, probably not. I have Twitter now for random thoughts. ;)
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Not A Song)
I know I still owe an entry about my relationship with the French language, but it requires more time and thought than I can devote to it today. It will probably happen this weekend. I know you're all waiting with bated breath.

Bean was much better today, after spending yesterday with a fever that wavered between "low-grade" and "high enough to be very uncomfortable." We can always tell when he's truly under the weather, because he sits still and is quiet. He also got quite clingy and latched onto [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter like a limpet, switching to cling to me only when she got up to go to the bathroom. In the afternoon we watched Casper (the live-action movie) together, and he seemed to enjoy it, though predictably about 50 minutes in he declared the movie "too long" and announced he wanted to watch something else. He was too lethargic to really protest when [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter told him we were going to keep watching, though, and the movie piqued his interest again a few minutes later, so all was well.

In spite of [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter's repeated attempts to get him to nap, he stubbornly stayed awake until about 17:30, when he dozed off in her arms. He roused briefly when she tried to stealthily put him to bed, but went down again pretty easily about half an hour later. [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter went out to get more Children's Tylenol (he got one dose before bed, but that was all we had on hand), and of course while she was gone he woke up crying for her. Luckily I was deemed a suitable alternative to Mama for the time being, and he settled again and was fast asleep—though coughing in his sleep, poor bunny—by the time she got home.

Because Bean had an early night, we actually managed to watch three TV episodes in a row! Though, in retrospect, the third one was probably a mistake, as we ended up going to bed later than usual. Still, we caught up on Castle and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (which FINALLY delivered an episode that hit the right notes for me and didn't feel forced or boring or have only one good part) before watching the 200th episode of Criminal Minds almost live.

Today I packed my bags, took the dog out, got George's antibiotics from the vet, and drove to Ottawa. It sounds like very little for a day in which I seemed to run out of time for everything. Bean was, as I said, feeling much better, which was a relief, but also meant he was back to his very energetic and rather loud self. He was not 100%, but still greatly improved. He spent the morning making cards for me and [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter. He made hers first, and carefully and spontaneously labelled it "MAMA," which made her go all misty-eyed. It was adorable. He decorated both with aluminium foil hearts which we helped him glue on, and then drew very elaborate pictures on them. Mine had a toilet (don't ask, I don't know), green grass, several doors, and a picture of someone I believe is meant to be me, as well as the aforementioned foil heart and a foil triangle ("A mountain triangle!"). I have brought the card with me to Ottawa, and need to find a good spot for it in my little room.

Being a step-parent rocks. :)

Even though I have no money, I bit the bullet today and bought some new clothes, because all the ones I have that were suitable for more "casual" office wear were nearly 10 years old, faded, misshapen, and had become irreparably stained. No longer office-worthy at all. I managed to find a few items on sale for $9 and a few cute shirts for $19, and hopefully that will set me up for a while. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn't break the bank.

One of my self-improvement goals this year is to sit down and write out a proper budget. Then I need to stick to it and find a way to cut back even further on some of my spending. I think that some of the trouble comes from not having a strict budget when it comes to "extras" like presents and books and DVDs. (The rest of the trouble comes from trying to wrangle a mortgage, car payments, daycare, a 500km/week commute, and a frankly exorbitant monthly rent on an extra room to sleep in for my job, all on my salary and the contributions [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter is able to make, as well as some government money for daycare).

I think I'll save the money talk for a different post. I have Thoughts on the subject, and they deserve their own entry.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Bookshop)
How is the time going by so quickly? I swear, it feels like it was Christmas yesterday.

Because I'd been sent on training courses the past two weeks, it's actually been a while since I worked a full night shift, and so it's sort of kicking my ass this time around. It's a little frightening how quickly I readjust to a daytime schedule. I am not a night owl, never have been. I enjoy going to bed by 22:00 (23:00 at the latest) and getting up around 07:00. That's what my body does naturally, after a few weeks of time off. I don't need an alarm, that's the way my circadian rhythms roll. Of course, this almost never happens, because I rarely have time off, and when I do it's not long enough for my body to reset completely, so unless I set an alarm (or Bean wakes me, or whatever), then I can easily sleep in way past 07:00.

I got a bit of writing done last night, which was nice. It wasn't on any of my current projects, but it was nice to at least get some fiction down on the screen. Perhaps tonight, if work remains quiet, I'll actually manage to work on one of my big projects for the year. It'd be nice to produce something I can get paid for at some point. This month, due to money that we're expecting not coming in for a while yet, things are very very tight. Tight to the point of making me worry if I'll have enough money for gas to get back to Montreal on Monday.

I tried doing the 2nd job thing last year, but as it turns out my memory of hating everything about translating was completely accurate. Much like the last time I did it for a living, it ratcheted up my anxiety to near-unbearable levels. So, that's out. I'm at a loss of what I can do to earn extra income (aside from writing, because while I know it CAN be a source of income, I'm a long ways away from getting anything published. I'd have to finish one of my projects, for one thing), because translation is essentially my one other marketable skill. I do know how to edit & proofread, but I have no formal training and no background to speak of (beta-ing fanfiction doesn't count, pretty sure).

If I worked a different kind of job, I could take on part-time work somewhere. Working a retail/service job would be fine, for what I need. The problem is that my schedule simply won't allow for that. I'd never be able to give my second boss a clear idea of when I'd be available. Also, I'd never be reliably free on nights or weekends, which is when a lot of part-time jobs want people to work. Argh.

Right, moving on.

In unrelated but hilarious news, J. K. Rowling, who refuses to shut up and let her art be art, has come on record as saying she now regrets putting Hermione and Ron together, stating that she did it for personal reasons at the time, but that now "distance has given [her] perspective," and she thinks they're terrible for each other. The internet has re-exploded back into Harry/Hermione vs Ron/Hermione ship wars, seven years later, and mostly I think someone should shove Rowling into a cupboard until she can learn to hold her tongue. I say this with love, and as someone who never had a pony in this particular race. My own love for Harry Potter fell very much in the gen. category, and while the Harry/Ginny thing felt forced, I never much cared one way or another.

A Twitter friend suggested taking Harry Potter away from her now, like taking a drunk's car keys away before they hurt themselves.

"I'm not done."

"We think you've had enough."

"But the relationship between--"

"No. C'mon, let's go let's get you home. You'll feel better in the morning."

"I SHOULD'VE DONE IT DIFFERENTLY!"

"Shh, it's okay, just a few more stairs."

*J.K. Rowling throws up more opinions on the carpet before being put to bed*
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Politics)
1- Election is over. Dear rest of the world, don't worry, this was not, as your news outlets keep saying, "a decisive victory for the nationalists." It's a minority government, and the popular vote was split three ways equally among the main contenders. At best, it's a rejection of the status quo, of a government which was becoming weighted down by scandals and a spectacularly mismanaged student strike.

Carry on, the world is not ending. I predict another election in 18 months or less.

2- Work has ben insane. Last week was a 72-hour week and I am still trying to recover. *falls over*

3- The house is a disaster, mostly due to point 2. I am slowly working on this, but it's been a bit of a slog. I've been cooking & freezing my meals, but it's a big undertaking and doesn't exactly help with keeping things tidy. Plus, because I'm so tired it means everything is taking twice as long to accomplish.

4- Paying extra close attention to my finances is paying off. I'm not rolling in money, but everything is getting handled, slowly but surely. If all goes well, I'll be out of the immediate woods in about 6 months. So, yay for that.

5- The cats and dog are doing well, too, for those of you who were wondering. They pine for the days when I was on vacation, though, and stare at me mournfully whenever I leave for work. ;)
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Anatomically Impossible)
I am having a shitty month. So even though I don't post much as a rule, I will likely be posting even less for a while.

I have the completely unhelpful reaction of "Not dealing, can't make me," when it comes to outside stressors. Yes, the head-in-the-sand method that has worked so well for so many others is now serving as my guideline.

Yeah.

Anyway.

If anyone can figure out how to make money spontaneously drop from the sky into my lap, please drop me a line. Otherwise, I implore you to be patient until I have my head surgically removed from my posterior, where it appears to be lodged these days. *headdesk*
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Fool's Prerogative)
I haven't even signed the papers for the house yet and I'm already sort of starting to have conniptions. Mostly it's because I feel kind of poor in the face of the vast sums of money I am being expected to disburse for this transaction.

Anyone know people looking to buy a kidney? :P


I've been back at work since yesterday after the longest vacation I have had the leisure to take in my entire professional life, but it really hasn't been long enough. Work is the same as always, and while I still like the work itself and my colleagues, there are some frustrations here that haven't actually gone away in my absence, as I'd hoped. The thing is that I've never mastered the art of being content in the face of administrative bullshit.

I don't suppose anyone out there has advice for how to be Zen about things and brainwash oneself into being content to go to one's job, do the best one can, and leave other things aside? Or, in short, how the hell does one overcome one's own tendency toward demand resistance and procrastination?

I don't know, but I really need to find out sooner rather than later. Thoughts? Tips? Resources? Bueller?


It also looks like work may not give me any time off the weekend I'm meant to move. That either means I have to switch shifts with someone (not likely, given how busy that weekend seems to be for everyone) or else maybe end up moving on the Monday following my weekend shift. Ew.


This is not the happy update I was hoping for, but I'm a little bit stressed. I will be very happy in about six weeks' time, when all of this will be behind me and I'll have new things to be stressed about, like how to build a retaining wall in my yard and figuring out how to extend my downspout and clean the leaves out of my gutters.

I also have a list as long as my arm of things I need to look into: good places to go running near my new place, buying a new fridge (my current one doesn't freaking fit in the new kitchen, much to my dismay), possibly getting a dryer for my clothes, all sorts of really boring things that are nonetheless taking up a great deal of CPU for me.

Anyway, you may now return to your regularly-scheduled lives after that scintillating and inspiring update on my life. :P

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