mousme: The silhouettes from MST3K with the written caption Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay (Oscar Wilde)
Oops. In my defense, I was sleeping after my night shift. I've been out for over 20 years now, which feels wild to me. How has it been that long?

Coming out these days seems more fraught than ever, which breaks my heart. We went through a honeymoon period for a while there, where it was becoming safer for 2SLGBTQIA+ people to be open about who they are and have the same shot at happiness and safety as cishet people, but that's been increasingly less true for the past ten years or so. I'm hoping (although I'm not super optimistic) that this is just a brief hiccup and that people will start coming back to their senses before the end of the decade. Right now the flavour of the day appears to be transphobia, but as others have pointed out, our trans siblings are the canary in the coal mine: they are being targeted first, but we're all kidding ourselves if we think that the rest of us won't be next.

Once my weight has stabilized a bit after my surgery, I am planning to get myself one of these t-shirts:https://steviesafespaces.com/product/you-will-have-to-go-through-me-tee. It was made famous by David Tennant, and is actually made by a queer creator who lives in my province! I am very excited about this.

I've only been buying the bare minimum of clothing for a few years now, and I don't plan on changing that a lot, but I am likely to need a lot of new clothes by this time next year. I'm going to mostly stick with my work "uniform" of black pants and a solid-coloured polo shirt, but I think I may invest in some fun t-shirts to wear when I'm not at work. I seem to recall that, when I've lost weight in the past, I've gotten cold more easily, so I want to pick up some flannel shirts to wear as a second layer, too, which is something I've always wanted to do. I've resisted it up until now because I've never felt comfortable wearing more than one layer of clothing at a time due to body image issues. Wearing layers has always made me feel bulky and awkward, but I'm cautiously optimistic that I will be able to get over that hang-up so that I can embrace a bit more of a butch look. I won't be able to replace my entire wardrobe in one fell swoop, but I am looking forward to a bit of a reset in that department. Once I'm confident I won't need my larger sized clothing anymore, I will donate the stuff that's still wearable and cut up the rest for rags.

Anyway, enough about clothes. It's not my usual thing, but occasionally I like to think about what I wear. ;)

I am just past the halfway mark of this night shift, and after that I have only one 12-hour shift before my time off work officially starts. I am officially Extremely Tired(TM) and cannot wait for this week of night shifts to be over. I've had stuff to do every single day this week that cut into my sleeping time, and the weekend has unfortunately proved to be no exception. I am really looking forward to sleeping as much as I want to on Monday. It's Thanksgiving Day here in Canada, so all the stores will be closed and no tradesperson in their right mind would schedule anything that day. Whenever I get up I will make a batch or two of soup to freeze in anticipation of my surgery.  Tuesday the plan is to make even more soup, and all that should carry me through to the end of October.

For now, I just have to survive until the end of this shift. I will, of course, but it's going to suck.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Not A Song)
I know I still owe an entry about my relationship with the French language, but it requires more time and thought than I can devote to it today. It will probably happen this weekend. I know you're all waiting with bated breath.

Bean was much better today, after spending yesterday with a fever that wavered between "low-grade" and "high enough to be very uncomfortable." We can always tell when he's truly under the weather, because he sits still and is quiet. He also got quite clingy and latched onto [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter like a limpet, switching to cling to me only when she got up to go to the bathroom. In the afternoon we watched Casper (the live-action movie) together, and he seemed to enjoy it, though predictably about 50 minutes in he declared the movie "too long" and announced he wanted to watch something else. He was too lethargic to really protest when [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter told him we were going to keep watching, though, and the movie piqued his interest again a few minutes later, so all was well.

In spite of [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter's repeated attempts to get him to nap, he stubbornly stayed awake until about 17:30, when he dozed off in her arms. He roused briefly when she tried to stealthily put him to bed, but went down again pretty easily about half an hour later. [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter went out to get more Children's Tylenol (he got one dose before bed, but that was all we had on hand), and of course while she was gone he woke up crying for her. Luckily I was deemed a suitable alternative to Mama for the time being, and he settled again and was fast asleep—though coughing in his sleep, poor bunny—by the time she got home.

Because Bean had an early night, we actually managed to watch three TV episodes in a row! Though, in retrospect, the third one was probably a mistake, as we ended up going to bed later than usual. Still, we caught up on Castle and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (which FINALLY delivered an episode that hit the right notes for me and didn't feel forced or boring or have only one good part) before watching the 200th episode of Criminal Minds almost live.

Today I packed my bags, took the dog out, got George's antibiotics from the vet, and drove to Ottawa. It sounds like very little for a day in which I seemed to run out of time for everything. Bean was, as I said, feeling much better, which was a relief, but also meant he was back to his very energetic and rather loud self. He was not 100%, but still greatly improved. He spent the morning making cards for me and [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter. He made hers first, and carefully and spontaneously labelled it "MAMA," which made her go all misty-eyed. It was adorable. He decorated both with aluminium foil hearts which we helped him glue on, and then drew very elaborate pictures on them. Mine had a toilet (don't ask, I don't know), green grass, several doors, and a picture of someone I believe is meant to be me, as well as the aforementioned foil heart and a foil triangle ("A mountain triangle!"). I have brought the card with me to Ottawa, and need to find a good spot for it in my little room.

Being a step-parent rocks. :)

Even though I have no money, I bit the bullet today and bought some new clothes, because all the ones I have that were suitable for more "casual" office wear were nearly 10 years old, faded, misshapen, and had become irreparably stained. No longer office-worthy at all. I managed to find a few items on sale for $9 and a few cute shirts for $19, and hopefully that will set me up for a while. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn't break the bank.

One of my self-improvement goals this year is to sit down and write out a proper budget. Then I need to stick to it and find a way to cut back even further on some of my spending. I think that some of the trouble comes from not having a strict budget when it comes to "extras" like presents and books and DVDs. (The rest of the trouble comes from trying to wrangle a mortgage, car payments, daycare, a 500km/week commute, and a frankly exorbitant monthly rent on an extra room to sleep in for my job, all on my salary and the contributions [livejournal.com profile] pdaughter is able to make, as well as some government money for daycare).

I think I'll save the money talk for a different post. I have Thoughts on the subject, and they deserve their own entry.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Girlfolk)
I decided to wear a skirt to work today. I can count the number of times a year I do this on the fingers of one hand.

I realized on my way to the metro why I don't do this more often. Because I'm wearing a long skirt, I had to don a pair of heels (more of a wedge, really), and I am NOT used to walking in them. My poor feet require more arch support than these shoes provide. Owie.

Still I feel all swishy and swirly in my long skirt, and it's kind of fun. :)
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (This version of the universe)
Anyone in Montreal know a good place to buy cardigans?

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