So much for not posting anything negative...

[mousme]

You know what? I would like if, for once, just once, life were easy.

Just maybe for a couple of weeks. Hell, I'd settle for a few days.

I would really like to not worry about money. I would like to not be affected by the weather. I would like to have a job land in my lap. I would like to have someone be in love with me. I would like to not have to take twelve pills a day. I would like the cats to feed themselves, the apartment to clean itself, the dishes to be magically done.

I would like to not have to work at holding myself together. To not have to pay attention to everything I do and say in case I accidentally kick someone else in the feelings because I'm feeling too crappy to notice what comes out of my mouth. I don't dare let myself be around people for more than a couple of hours when I'm like this, because I just don't trust myself to be civilized, and yet I can't afford to stay by myself all the time either.

*kicks the wall*

All right. Whingeing over. Feel free to go back to your lives now.

Comments

[owldaughter.livejournal.com]

I heartily second the motion. Except I'd like all of it to apply to me and my life these days.

Well, if a job lands in my lap, it would depend on what it is, but I could probably pass it to you.

Oh no---not you too?!

[pasley.livejournal.com]

I hate November. I hate hating everything, even the stuff I love.

I want to put on my most comfortable pj's, curl myslef up in bed, and sleep straight through until spring.

I wish that everyone else's bad moods comforted me, either in a supportive "I'm not alone" sense, or---yes, sorry---even a schadenfreude sense But they only make me feel more hopeless.

How about that old misery loves company thing? Huh? HUH?! Does that work for anybody?

Didn't think so. Oh well.

xox

[kirixchi.livejournal.com]

Aww, hon :( I'm so sorry that you are going through so much and that you feel so lonely and down. I wish that there was more I could do than tell you that I am thinking about you. I know it's weird, since we only met each other for a handful of hours, but you were such a warm, bright person that you made a huge impression, and I definitely don't want anything bad for you.

*sends a truckload of hugs*

[mhw.livejournal.com]

Isn't depression wonderful? :(

Maybe you need a slave. They'll do the dishes and the other scutwork AND respond to all your crabbiness with "Oh YES, Mistress!" :)

Sorry to hear that you're feeling unhappy right now.

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

It's good to remember that the ease of life is a question of perception, and is relative. Maybe you can find five good things about your life that might bring a little balance to the scales. Your recent 50,000 word accomplishment comes to mind. I know another LJ acquaintance of mine who gets depressed. She has an interesting take on things. (http://erisian-fields.livejournal.com/170724.html) There are things that an examination of perception can help. Just saying.

I found your comments on dishes and companionship rather interesting. Personally, doing dishes doesn't bother me, really. For someone with whom to enjoy cooking and good conversation, I'd trade the dishes job. I'd make you that offer, when you're feeling down, if I lived close enough. Heh. I wouldn't even demand hot monkey love afterwards, because I know the bounds of your tastes. Heh.

As for the weather thing, forgive me if I've mentioned this to you before, but there are certain sunlight-simulating lamps that are supposed to help provide the effect of better weather for people who are sensitive to the season change. I don't know how good they work, but it might be worth a shot. At worst, you can impress people with an amazing tan in November. ; )

I have heard that cats who learn to feed themselves get amazingly "uppity". One day, they've figured out how to dispense the Friskies Buffet to themselves and the next they're demanding some money and the car keys to go into town for some fillet mignon. Maybe it's better to keep them dependent on you.

The wonderful thing about Internet friends is that while the conversation is a poor substitute for the wonderful auditory qualities of another human voice in the room with you, you can edit everything that comes out of your keyboard in order to look like the very soul of urbane civility and wit. I for one, love reading what you have to say, even when you're whinging.

I hope the clouds clear for you soon. I'd mail you some of the California sunshine out my window right now, if I could figure out a way to box it up.

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

Why did you cross out the part about someone in love with you. There is nothing wrong with that wish.