Corner of Bourbon & Division

Today was one of those days when I didn't even get a chance to sit still for two minutes except at lunch time. It was a day of more messages than usual and constant interruptions and problems that took forever to solve. I am very glad to be home this evening, let me tell you. My landlord does not appear to be home, though his car is here. I'm guessing he might be on a work trip, or else he and his wife carpooled back to their primary residence in Bainsville. Either way, it's nice to have the house to myself.

I was toying with the idea earlier—inspired by someone else's blog post—to write a bit about what mental illness is like from the inside as well as the outside, but I'm not sure it's a good idea anymore. It will make for an incredibly depressing LJ entry, and my posts are already pretty awful as it is. Mental illness is a messy affair, and my own history with it is also messy (though I was lucky compared to most people), so... yeah, I'm not sure.

The plan for tonight, once I get my act together, is to scrounge up some dinner, maybe watch Grimm if it's on early enough, and maybe, maybe try to get a few words down on paper. That still hasn't happened, mostly because I'm not a night owl and tend to get my writing done in the morning when I can. On work days that's not possible, since I have to be at work at 05:30. Alas. Stupid work, getting in the way of my hobbies. :P

I haven't been as productive in general as I'd like lately, due to the fact that I'm just getting more and more tired as time goes by. It just feels more difficult to do even basic maintenance stuff, like laundry and dishes and wiping kitchen counters and cleaning up when the coffee pot leaks. Some of the time I'll catch myself just staring blankly into space instead of doing what I'd planned to do. Or else I forget my plans entirely, and only remember that I was going to do X when it's 20:00 and far too late to do anything of the sort. I think I need to start setting alarms for myself so that I'll remember to do things.

:::ETA:::

Whoops. I forgot to hit "post" on this, and now it's nearly two hours later. My bad. Short attention spans r us, these days. Easily distracted by other things, too.

I have missed knitting, and it seems to be one of the things I can do during my night shifts that won't be too intrusive when it comes to actual work. Mostly my night shifts are tranquil things, but when they get busy they get extremely busy, so it has to be something I can put down quickly and not worry about getting interrupted.

I'm thinking of doing a project for myself, which is a rare thing. Usually I knit for other people. But I've been looking all over for some suitable sweater vests for work, and I'm coming up blank. They are few and far-between in my size, it seems. Apparently if you're a plus size, you don't get to wear sweater vests. They are only for thin people. :P

I've found a pattern I like on Ravelry, though I shall have to buy it for $2.00 or so off Knitpicks. I'm not complaining, though. It looks beautiful, and that's less than I've paid for some iPhone apps. I may also get the yarn off Knitpicks as well, since it's pretty specific, but after that, if I want to make more, I'll hunt around for less expensive yarn. Overall, it's an expensive project, even if I can get it with free shipping. The sizing on this pattern does seem to include my size, from what I can see, so that's good.

Other things that I can do on night shifts, when my concentration (and work itself!) allows for it, is to read. I haven't had the time, the energy, and most importantly the focus to truly read of late. I think I read a handful of books last year, and the years before that. Partially the internet served as a distraction, partially for a while I was writing every spare moment I got, which meant no reading, but in the last year it's been more of a no time/no focus problem rather than anything else.

So I've set myself a lowball goal of reading 25 books this year, and set it up on Goodreads. (My username there is ratherastory, if anyone is interested) I like the site, and I've found some interesting recommendations there as I've started using it more. I'm keeping track of my reading as best I can, and with any luck that, too, will improve this year.

And no, don't worry, I'm not going to read when I should be doing family stuff or running errands. I'm not going to use it to procrastinate. The reading will be scheduled into the "me" time of the unschedule, and/or squeezed in during my down time at work and on lunch breaks. I can also read when I'm waiting in line for things, or in waiting rooms before appointments. Same goes for knitting.

Speaking of time and saving time, I've been trying to perfect the art of the Navy shower. I've managed to get myself down to 4 minutes and 15 seconds, but my goal is to get it under 3 minutes. When that's done, I need to work out how to whittle my shower/dressed/made up routine to under 20 minutes. Right now I'm managing a little over 30, which is okay but not great, and doesn't include the times when I have to blow-dry my hair. My hair is very thick and takes forever to dry, even with a blow-dryer. So I've mostly been letting it air dry, but that's a bit of a problem on very cold days like the ones we've had.

I'm trying to motivate myself with the notion that, if I'm not by myself, or if it's right before I start my workday, then that time isn't mine. So in order not to waste other people's time, I need to be more efficient. The longer I spend in the bathroom/shower/whatever, the more of other people's time I'm wasting, which is a big no-no. The way I see it, my brain doesn't really care about me, but it does care about not letting others down. So if I frame it as being about other people instead of being about me, then my brain kicks into gear and makes me get down to business. It's the same for getting up on time, either when my alarm goes off (on workdays) or when the rest of the household gets up (on my days off). Sleeping in means I'm taking up time that doesn't belong to me. The time that is mine is already set in the "unschedule," so all other time that's not scheduled sleeping time doesn't count as mine.

IDK, this makes a lot more sense in my head.