Corner of Bourbon & Division

So for two weeks in a row I've left home early in order to avoid rush hour when I get to Ottawa, and it's working out well. Aside from the fact that I don't get to spend as much time at home as I'd like, it has allowed me to arrive here not feeling rushed and stressed, which is great.

Previously I'd spend a little under two hours getting to Ottawa, and then another hour stuck in traffic. Factor in another hour or so for errands, and I'd be getting in at about 19:00-19:30. My landlord would inevitably be home at that time, which meant I had to make small talk and be polite and sociable when I would rather gnaw off my own arm to escape. Afterward, I'd have just enough time to unpack, grab a hastily improvised dinner, and try to be in bed by 20:00. I'd be exhausted and stressed from all the driving and frustrated by the traffic, and on a bad night I wouldn't be able to sleep right away, resulting in a short night of bad sleep. When you have to get up 03:50, getting a solid eight hours in is kind of a big deal, especially if the rest of your life involves getting broken and insufficient sleep.

So, anyway, last Tuesday and today I left around noon instead of 15:30, and here it is 16:30 and I'm all unpacked, dinner is in the oven, and no one will be home for at least another 20 minutes, so I have time to refill my introvert batteries a little bit before being forced to be sociable. I'd rather not talk to the landlords at all today, but at least having quiet time and not being forced to unpack my groceries while they watch me is a start.

The plan is to have dinner quite early, so hopefully I'll be able to go hide in my room before my landlords even get home. Then I'm going to settle in to do some writing. With any luck, words will actually happen. I haven't managed to get any fiction written since last Thursday, so it would be nice to get something written, even if it turns out to be utter shit. My writing has always been about momentum. If I keep going, the writing gets better. The minute I stop for even a day, I get bogged down. The process gets laborious and the words stop flowing the way I want. So, yeah, a week of not writing? Not good. I need to try to nip this in the bud before I end up not writing for months again.

All righty. The timer has beeped. Time for food. See you on the flip side, LJ!

Still having weird disconnectedness problems due to scheduling woes. As of next week, however, I am back on my regular work schedule until further notice. Huzzah!

My theoretical trip to Oklahoma is a no-go, unfortunately. I am disappointed, but I know that it's probably a good thing, financially speaking, if I don't go. An entire week out of pocket, plus travel expenses, is not really something I can afford right now. *sigh* I really wanted to go, though. Next year, maybe. At this point it feels as though I'm never going to get any vacation time ever again. It's been nearly six years since my last real vacation. I did get a week of paid time off at Bell Mobility (well, five days' worth, anyway), but they forced me to take it in January 2003 when I had no money and no place to go, so it didn't feel like much of a vacation (I spent much of it cleaning, as I recall).

I am in a weird place, headspace-wise. I blame the weather, and the fact that I've had the weirdest schedule ever for a while. I really do much better on a regular schedule. Right now the apartment isn't clean, I have no books to read (well, almost no books), and I'm a little behind on Skywatch. I'm not in a terrible mood, but I'm less patient than I like to be, and I know that this behaviour pattern in me usually indicates that I'm more depressed than usual. I don't think it's anything more than just disthymia, attributable to the weather and erratic sleep patterns, but I rather hope I can shake myself out of it in the next two weeks or so. I want to get this place clean before the end of June (I know, most of you are boggling at the thought that it can take up to a month for me to clean the place), and preferably before the weather gets unbearably hot.

I have a list of things to do today that's as long as my arm, all of which cost money. *sigh* On the plus side, I am very much enjoying actually having the money to spend on doing all the stuff I need to do. I looked at my bank balance the day before yesterday, and was mildly shocked to see that it's in really good shape, considering it's the beginning of the month and I have rent to pay.

( Nattering about financial stuff, all of it positive )


The plan for today is to get food and a few summer clothes. I thought I had summer clothes until I went through my closet the other day and realized that I had to get rid of two of my favourite shirts last year, which I literally wore out through years of use. I have only one pair of jeans, which are also wearing out. I have very few summer tops that I can wear to work. So, clothes it is.

If I have time, I shall also possibly be getting myself a new toy. I have been pondering getting myself this toy since November or thereabouts, and I am 99% sure that it will be worth the investment for me. I shall have to go to the store and see the price of the toy and all attendant toy accessories (batteries not included, and all that) and see if it's within my budget for the time being.

I'm choosing to think of the toy as a consolation prize for not being able to go to Oklahoma.

Okay. I have to get going, otherwise none of the stuff on my list is ever going to get done.


Also, this icon was made for me by the lovely and talented toughlovemuse. It's Sisyphus, get it? ;)

So another employee quit at the security central, which means my schedule is fubar for the foreseeable future. I have no idea what hours I'll be working, save that there's a lot of weekend time involved in the near future.

Fear not, I have made it clear that the weekend of the 19th is off-limits as far as work is concerned. The gig weekend is entirely clear.

I'm getting today and tonight off, and instead I'll be working the graveyard shift Saturday and Sunday. I fully expect to be d-e-d by the time Monday morning comes. My only hope of salvation is to try a catch a nap tomorrow before work (after my RCMP test). Sunday there will be no nap, since I have prior commitments starting at 11am, neither of which I particularly want to cancel.

I think I'm going to be pulling a couple of twelve-hour shifts next week sometime, although I'm not sure when, and then the last weekend in May is going to be spent doing graveyard again. After that they should with any luck have hired some new folks.

The up side is that I'm going to have many free days during the week to do Other Stuff I Normally Wouldn't Do™.

The other up side is that, since I'm one of the few stepping up to the plate to help out, I'm gaining what my father would call "Un capital de sympathie," which works out nicely for me. They might even be inclined to give me the first week of July off (especially since they wouldn't be paying me that week :P) so I can go to Oklahoma. Maybe.


Today I shall take advantage of my day off by visiting the Maternal Unit before she and the Paternal Unit leave for France for a month, and then I shall go and buy some proper running shoes.