Random noodling...

[mousme]

I'm beginning to think that either the new meds aren't at a high enough dosage, or else they're not really working.

I'm not supposed to be this depressed while on 800mg of Neurontin a day. Yes, it's a drug best designed for preventing the highs, but it's also supposed to keep me from being suicidal.

Kind of find myself wishing I was manic these days. It's so much more fun, even if it's anxiety-producing. At least then I don't hate myself. I like feeling as though I could do anything if only I had time or money or whatever. I prefer my thought patterns when I'm manic, even if they're just as fucked-up as when I'm depressed.

Two weeks before I see my meds doc.

I don't know if I'll have enough money to buy my meds when the time comes. Praying that my cheque will come before then.

God, this sucks.

Feh.

Comments

Do as I say, not as I do...

[prolixfootle.livejournal.com]

Call and tell them you're not feeling better. They won't know if you don't tell them (apparently).

I don't suppose you'd want to move south? Plenty of room, quiet, lots of amenities...

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

How far south?

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[prolixfootle.livejournal.com]

Northeast Ohio. Where the pictures come from... ?;o)

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Hell, some of those pictures may as well have been taken in the Eastern Townships, about an hour and a half away from where I live. ;)

I'm seriously tempted... :)

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[prolixfootle.livejournal.com]

I've got four spare bedrooms... and high speed internet...

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

And cows. Don't forget the cows. :)

I think we should probably meet in person first and make sure we don't drive each other batshit crazy first (it's a short trip for both of us, after all).

According to Mapquest, Cleveland is about nine and a half hours away by car, and a mere 922 kilometers. If I ever have enough money, I may make a road trip of it. :) (Right now I don't have money to get gas to go to the next corner :P)

Hell, since you have four bedrooms, I'll invite a bunch of your LJ friends so I'll cut down on gas costs, and we'll all converge on you like a swarm of locusts. What do you think? :D

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[prolixfootle.livejournal.com]

Someone'll have to bring sleeping bags. All i have is one sofa bed and one day bed. And I didn't say the rooms were finished...

Re: Do as I say, not as I do...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Well, you better get cracking, then. Who knows —I might have money sooner than you think, and then all bets are off. ;)

I'm sure people can bring sleeping bags. I have one of my own. :)

[joane.livejournal.com]

{{{{{hugs}}}}} You can't do any harm by calling - I absolutely agree. Is there any way your doc could see you earlier? If you're not reacting the way you should, you've *got* to let him know! {{{{{{{{{{hugsandcomfort if desired...}}}}}}}}}

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Desired, and always appreciated. :)

*hugs and squishes back*

[djs-specs.livejournal.com]

*schnoogle*

I agree with the others - give them a call and let them know that your drugs aren't working. They may want to get you in for your consultation earlier than planned, especially since things are sounding a bit dire.

*cuddles Phnee*

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll send him an email, in any case. I don't think there's any danger of real badness before I see him. I'll see what he has to say and we'll go from there...

*hugs*