Random noodling...
Oct. 19th, 2003 04:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI'm beginning to think that either the new meds aren't at a high enough dosage, or else they're not really working.
I'm not supposed to be this depressed while on 800mg of Neurontin a day. Yes, it's a drug best designed for preventing the highs, but it's also supposed to keep me from being suicidal.
Kind of find myself wishing I was manic these days. It's so much more fun, even if it's anxiety-producing. At least then I don't hate myself. I like feeling as though I could do anything if only I had time or money or whatever. I prefer my thought patterns when I'm manic, even if they're just as fucked-up as when I'm depressed.
Two weeks before I see my meds doc.
I don't know if I'll have enough money to buy my meds when the time comes. Praying that my cheque will come before then.
God, this sucks.
Feh.
I'm not supposed to be this depressed while on 800mg of Neurontin a day. Yes, it's a drug best designed for preventing the highs, but it's also supposed to keep me from being suicidal.
Kind of find myself wishing I was manic these days. It's so much more fun, even if it's anxiety-producing. At least then I don't hate myself. I like feeling as though I could do anything if only I had time or money or whatever. I prefer my thought patterns when I'm manic, even if they're just as fucked-up as when I'm depressed.
Two weeks before I see my meds doc.
I don't know if I'll have enough money to buy my meds when the time comes. Praying that my cheque will come before then.
God, this sucks.
Feh.
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Re: Do as I say, not as I do...
Date: 2003-10-20 07:32 am (UTC)Re: Do as I say, not as I do...
Date: 2003-10-20 10:21 am (UTC)I think we should probably meet in person first and make sure we don't drive each other batshit crazy first (it's a short trip for both of us, after all).
According to Mapquest, Cleveland is about nine and a half hours away by car, and a mere 922 kilometers. If I ever have enough money, I may make a road trip of it. :) (Right now I don't have money to get gas to go to the next corner :P)
Hell, since you have four bedrooms, I'll invite a bunch of your LJ friends so I'll cut down on gas costs, and we'll all converge on you like a swarm of locusts. What do you think? :D
Re: Do as I say, not as I do...
Date: 2003-10-20 02:01 pm (UTC)Re: Do as I say, not as I do...
Date: 2003-10-20 02:24 pm (UTC)I'm sure people can bring sleeping bags. I have one of my own. :)