Random noodling...

[mousme]

I'm beginning to think that either the new meds aren't at a high enough dosage, or else they're not really working.

I'm not supposed to be this depressed while on 800mg of Neurontin a day. Yes, it's a drug best designed for preventing the highs, but it's also supposed to keep me from being suicidal.

Kind of find myself wishing I was manic these days. It's so much more fun, even if it's anxiety-producing. At least then I don't hate myself. I like feeling as though I could do anything if only I had time or money or whatever. I prefer my thought patterns when I'm manic, even if they're just as fucked-up as when I'm depressed.

Two weeks before I see my meds doc.

I don't know if I'll have enough money to buy my meds when the time comes. Praying that my cheque will come before then.

God, this sucks.

Feh.

Comments

[djs-specs.livejournal.com]

*schnoogle*

I agree with the others - give them a call and let them know that your drugs aren't working. They may want to get you in for your consultation earlier than planned, especially since things are sounding a bit dire.

*cuddles Phnee*

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll send him an email, in any case. I don't think there's any danger of real badness before I see him. I'll see what he has to say and we'll go from there...

*hugs*