January 22nd, 2026

[mousme]

 1- State of the Phnee

 

I’m back in the saddle, more or less. I am having trouble getting myself going in the mornings still, and I have to figure out either how to manage my life without getting up early, or else how to get myself out of bed at a reasonable time. I have not figured out either of those things. It’s partly inertia and partly a feeling of being constantly worn out. I was hoping that solving the mystery tired/sleep apnea thing would also solve the can’t-get-out-of-bed problem, but nope, turns out that wasn’t it.

 

I have to confess that I live with a constant background noise of vague frustration and annoyance that I am apparently immune to all the “life-changing” miracles of modern medicine that everyone swears by. People swear that ADHD medication allowed them to focus and get things done, that using a CPAP made them miraculously no longer tired and cleared up their brain fog lickety-split. It’s all amazing stuff that will change your life! Except I have not experienced any of this. The CPAP does help, in that I have noticed that I feel noticeably worse if I don’t use it, but I don’t feel noticeably better or more energized day to day. I’ve taken almost every ADHD medication under the sun except for straight-up Ritalin and Adderall (because my doctor doesn’t want to prescribe them for… reasons), and I have not seen any improvement in my symptoms the way other people describe. Not even a little bit. So, yeah, I am low-key mad (as the youths were saying fairly recently but maybe aren’t saying anymore) that I am apparently the exception to the fucking rule for everything. On the plus side, I have a pretty high pain tolerance threshold and tend to have fewer side effects from medications even in higher doses, so I guess that’s something? Meh.

 

In other body-related news, I have aaaalmost hit my unofficial “halfway” mark for my weight loss goal. I have been sort of procrastinating on workouts, so I’m going to do one once I finish writing this post. Motivation is really difficult to sustain, mostly because lifting weights is really uncomfortable and I find it kind of unpleasant. Still, if I want to actually become stronger and be able to do things around the house and around the property without injuring myself or just being in pain for days afterward, I need to do the thing.

 

I had a decent day, all that complaining aside. I got up early enough for a day off, and I spent the day very casually puttering around doing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. It’s not perfect, and our new dishwasher is one of those new water and energy saving ones which means it takes two hours and thirty minutes for a single cycle instead of the 40 minutes that my old dishwasher used to take. I do appreciate the water saving aspect, given how small our septic holding tank is, but good Lord am I not a fan of how long it takes. I also got more glass food storage containers for my lunches because there have been a lot of casualties in the past few months and I was starting to run out (two of mine broke at work and the dogs broke one yesterday, much to my annoyance).

 

2- State of the Smallholding

 

We’re looking at a record cold few days coming up thanks to a polar vortex, so I packed the quail enclosures with as much straw as I could without smothering them in the hopes that they will be properly insulated. They’ve been doing okay since the last one died weeks ago, and I am really hoping that will be the last of the casualties.

 

I did plan to start incubating eggs in mid-February, but I am a little worried that they won’t be viable because so many of them are freezing during the winter. I may try collecting eggs multiple times a day on my days off in the hopes of staving off the freezing, but I’m not too optimistic about my chances. If I weren’t worried about starting a fire in the garage, I’d consider putting in a little space heater, even if it’s just for extremely cold temperatures, but yeah. Fire hazard.

 

3- State of the news

 

I was busy doing dishes and quail chores all day, so I haven’t actually checked the news and am a little afraid to do so now.  I am going to let the news be until tomorrow, I think.

 

Catch you on the flip side, friends!