This was so much easier when I was eight

[mousme]

So it turns out my fine motor skills are for shit. I got some discounted gimp the other day (yes, I know, bad Phnee for spending money on stuff that isn't necessities or a birthday present for Bean, I know, I know), and I can't actually get the first loops to stay long enough for me to keep lacing it all together. *sigh* I will keep trying, but so far I've just managed to get cramps in my hands. At least there are video tutorials on YouTube, but gimp is slippery shit at best, and I worry that what I used to be able to do when I was eight years old is now entirely beyond me.

No wonder everyone thinks I'm incompetent. I can't even manage plastic laces. Thinking about it, it's amazing I manage to feed and dress myself every day. :P

I don't suppose any of my local friends who know how to do this would be willing to have a craft date with me and teach me to be less useless? I've always learned better with someone to show me and tell me what I'm doing wrong. Learning from books and videos has never been my strong suit.

I never write anything cheerful anymore. Sorry about that. I can't guarantee upbeat posts, just FYI, so if you're here for that, well, you're going to be disappointed.

I've given up trying to write tonight. Everything I've written is utter shit, and that doesn't look like it's going to be changing any time soon. It's at times like these that I ask myself why I insist on writing. All it does is make me miserable for days and weeks on end when it's not coming together. If I could 100% convince myself to stop then I'd probably be happier, but I can never quite bring myself to say "never again," and so I'm miserable when I'm not writing, too, because I feel guilty about not writing. Ugh, self, why so neurotic?

So, yeah. I'm now realising that I have nothing going for me except my exceptionally specialised skill set at work that makes me useless for any other job, ever again. Let's just hope the RCMP doesn't decide to downsize. If I can't be useful by earning a living, then that leaves pretty much nothing else.

Comments

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie. You are working on a work/commute schedule that would exhaust anyone, and guess what? You're exhausted. Like, long term, bone tired exhausted. You're not useless, you're just really really tired. *hugs*

[swestrup]

What they said. Seriously, I am amazed you are capable of enduring that kind of schedule. I would have been forced to quit after two weeks, tops. Your ability to cope with it is astonishing.

[sorceror.livejournal.com]

1) There's a saying in writing: first you get it down, then you get it good. Don't let anything stop you!

2) You are a singularly talented individual! Even if (heaven forbid) you did get laid off from your current job, you would find another.

3) I echo what tx_cronopio and swestrup are saying about your schedule - it's exhausting (by which I mean TOTALLY NUTS)! Are you getting any vacation time soon? You deserve it, and it sounds like you need it. :-/

[embroiderama]

So, yeah. I'm now realising that I have nothing going for me except my exceptionally specialised skill set at work that makes me useless for any other job, ever again. Let's just hope the RCMP doesn't decide to downsize. If I can't be useful by earning a living, then that leaves pretty much nothing else.

I hear that so, so much. *hugs*