I Have Arrived

[mousme]

I just had the following conversation.

Me: "GRC-RCMP Montréal bonjour, good evening!"

Caller: *speaking with a heavy middle-eastern accent* "Yes, this is Queen Annan, and I wish to report a fraud that is being committed against me."

Me: "Okay. 'Queen' is your first name?"

Caller: "No, it is my title. Queen Annan. I am Queen of the Universe."

Me: "You're the Queen of the Universe?"

Caller: "Yes."


The conversation went downhill from there.

Comments

[heartofawarrior.livejournal.com]

Oh man. I will admit - I giggled. That's just...wow.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

The crazies come out of the woodwork during the holiday season.

[bodhifox.livejournal.com]

I know the Empress of the Twenty Universes personally. No really, as well as the Queen of America, who you met last month.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I know the King of Canada, too.

I don't think this was the Queen of the Twenty Universes. She identified herself clearly as the Queen of the Universe (presumably this one). Perhaps she's a vassal?

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

Lies! All lies! I am the Queen of the Universe!

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Oh, she was clearly crazy. Everyone *knows* you're the True Queen. :)

[tcaptain.livejournal.com]

Don't they have to joust for the title?

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Only in the SCA.

[grrscary.livejournal.com]

This sounds like SO many conversations I have at Melange. For serious.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Wow. What do you do with them? I'm curious.

[grrscary.livejournal.com]

Try very very hard not to laugh. I fail often.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Are these actual crazy people, or people who think they were Cleopatra in a past life? (Or both?)

[grrscary.livejournal.com]

Sometimes both. I honestly think some people are not well enough to handle whatever energies it is they're trying to summon/deal with/etc and they crack. Sometimes its also folk trying to be Very Impressive to the Witches At The Store. Because that... I dunno. Maybe they think I'll teach them The Secret Handshake of The Universe or something.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

"I'm the Queen of the Universe!"

"Good for you. That'll be $15.99, please."

:D

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

that's AWESOME ... I'm sorry, I know dealing with delusional people is tiresome and a pain in the ass, but that's hilarious.

[zercool.livejournal.com]

I actually find that the delusional people can be the most fun to deal with. Tends to break up the tedium. :)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Some are more entertaining than others. This one was pretty good, although the rest of the conversation was pretty incoherent and filled with paranoid ramblings about being cheated out of her "lands" and their attendant revenue.

I believe I've seen you commenting in fearsclave's LJ, right?

[zercool.livejournal.com]

You have, 'tis true.

We've got a semi-regular caller (whenever she goes off her meds...) who has a long story about the FBI stealing her diplomas and impersonating her, etc etc ... it's good for a laugh now and then.

Another regular has audio and visual hallucinations. She can be very entertaining. Imaginary people stealing her underwear...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Wow.

We have a couple of frequent fliers (when they go off their meds, too). One is convinced that the SPVM (Montreal Police) and the Hell's Angels break into his room every night to rape him and chemically castrate him (either/or). Since he lives in a halfway house, it's a little difficult to figure how they do this. ;)

Once he changed his story. He accused his social worker of coming in the middle of the night and cutting his hair. Yeah. He was upset, because, he said, it looked all funny now and he'd have to wait for it to grow back.

The other one claims to be best friends with Céline Dion, who apparently agreed to bear his children a while back. Every time he calls he assures me that he's "all better" because he's taking his medication, so it's okay for us to call her for him.

I feel a bit bad for the guy, actually.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

This one was pretty darned entertaining, actually, and harmless compared to most.

[karine.livejournal.com]

I would have had such a hard time keeping a straight face... God that's hilarious!

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Not allowed to laugh at the crazy people. :D

[irishyogini.livejournal.com]

Wait, *she* can't be Queen of the Universe because *I'm* the Queen of the Universe!

;)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

You and tx_cronopio will have to duke it out for the title, I think. ;)