I Have Arrived

[mousme]

I just had the following conversation.

Me: "GRC-RCMP Montréal bonjour, good evening!"

Caller: *speaking with a heavy middle-eastern accent* "Yes, this is Queen Annan, and I wish to report a fraud that is being committed against me."

Me: "Okay. 'Queen' is your first name?"

Caller: "No, it is my title. Queen Annan. I am Queen of the Universe."

Me: "You're the Queen of the Universe?"

Caller: "Yes."


The conversation went downhill from there.

Comments

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

that's AWESOME ... I'm sorry, I know dealing with delusional people is tiresome and a pain in the ass, but that's hilarious.

[zercool.livejournal.com]

I actually find that the delusional people can be the most fun to deal with. Tends to break up the tedium. :)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Some are more entertaining than others. This one was pretty good, although the rest of the conversation was pretty incoherent and filled with paranoid ramblings about being cheated out of her "lands" and their attendant revenue.

I believe I've seen you commenting in fearsclave's LJ, right?

[zercool.livejournal.com]

You have, 'tis true.

We've got a semi-regular caller (whenever she goes off her meds...) who has a long story about the FBI stealing her diplomas and impersonating her, etc etc ... it's good for a laugh now and then.

Another regular has audio and visual hallucinations. She can be very entertaining. Imaginary people stealing her underwear...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Wow.

We have a couple of frequent fliers (when they go off their meds, too). One is convinced that the SPVM (Montreal Police) and the Hell's Angels break into his room every night to rape him and chemically castrate him (either/or). Since he lives in a halfway house, it's a little difficult to figure how they do this. ;)

Once he changed his story. He accused his social worker of coming in the middle of the night and cutting his hair. Yeah. He was upset, because, he said, it looked all funny now and he'd have to wait for it to grow back.

The other one claims to be best friends with Céline Dion, who apparently agreed to bear his children a while back. Every time he calls he assures me that he's "all better" because he's taking his medication, so it's okay for us to call her for him.

I feel a bit bad for the guy, actually.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

This one was pretty darned entertaining, actually, and harmless compared to most.