Where did THAT come from?

[mousme]

Colour me stunned.

Every now and then I have minor epiphanies about myself and the way I'm leading my existence. This one came about when someone on a forum I frequent posted one of those ubiquitous "self-analysis workshop" things, this one being, IIRC, "Your Best Year Yet." Whatever. They're a dime a dozen, and are only moderately useful as far as I'm concerned.

This one proved to be no exception, except for one thing: it asked me to verbalize all the limiting thoughts/paradigms I impose on myself that keep me from [insert jargon here] being all I can be, or whatever.

So the usual ones came up: what if I fail?, etc. Nothing new there. Second-Guessing Self is a skill I have in spades.


And then this little thought cropped up:


I'm not important.


...


Excuse me, WHAT?

Dude, I thought I got rid of that one YEARS ago. What the hell is it doing coming back ten years later?


*sigh*

Two steps forward, one step back... Back to the drawing board.

Comments

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say I don't know how that feels.

But boy do I.

And if I said anything more, I'd be turning this into something about me rather than about you.

Good luck getting past this and if you ever need to talk, let me know, k?

C.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

*hugs*

I haven't been commenting much lately, but I still read your LJ every day (well, every time you post, that is). Just so you know. :)

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

It's all relative. If you feel unimportant, than it means that I have not been doing a very good job as your friend. You ARE important to ME.

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

p.s. knowing is only half the battle. sometimes an issue is like mint. you may think that you've gotten it all out, but it just keeps coming back.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

knowing is only half the battle

Sorry, it must be the lack of coffee, because my brain shouted: "G.I. JOE!" at me when I read that. :P

Otherwise, yes. God, yes.

[joane.livejournal.com]

my brain shouted: "G.I. JOE!" at me when I read that.

This is how you know a child of the 80s.

I love you, and I'm listening. The "I thought I killed you years ago!" stuff is insidious and brutal. You'll beat it back again; you've already proven that you're stronger than it is, even if it had a resurrect or two left to use.

[toughlovemuse.livejournal.com]

sometimes an issue is like mint. you may think that you've gotten it all out, but it just keeps coming back.

PERFECT.

*admires the nice simile*

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I don't feel unimportant in that way. It's not something someone outside of me can fix, sadly. If that were the case, I wouldn't feel this way now. Between my parents, my friends and my extended family, it's not like I don't have a supportive group. :)

I just thought I'd worked this out already. :P

[pasley.livejournal.com]

I dunno. . . It'd be nice to think that we actually *can* get rid of that negative crap that buzzes around inside, but I'm not convinced. I think some people just manage to live with it a little better than others, camouflage it behind a convincing show of self-confidence, or maybe just push it deeper inside. . . for a while. Never having been able to cope well with those sorts of feelings myself, I can only empathize and sympathize with your frustration.

For the record, and for what it's worth, you hide your insecurities well.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I've always been a fan of "fake it 'til you make it." That got me through high school, university, and much of my adult life. It also means I got a lot done, even if my insides were a bunch of quivering jelly. ;)

[pasley.livejournal.com]

Oh, so very very ditto.

[alcinoe.livejournal.com]

I hear you hon. It is very difficult to completely silence that little voice, but I know that you can push it back again! It does suck that it came back at all though.

[kino-kid.livejournal.com]

Yes, I understand. I hate that. No more to say.

[miseri.livejournal.com]

I don't know if it's such a negative thought. I think it's better than "I am important", a thought which I associate with the sort of people who scream at the hotel staff for decorating a room with flowers of the wrong colour.

As long as you never go into "I'm less important than him/her", you're fine.

And remember: being unimportant means you have the scope to become important in whatever way you want. You have the freedom to carve your own way in your own way.

As long as you never give people hell over trivialities.