Concerts, Clothing and The Rules

[mousme]

Went to see the Ancient and Nameless One (aka sandman7) in concert yesterday, which was much fun. He and a tiny little girl in a red top were by far the best. Everyone else watched a little too much "American Idol" before performing. Also, there were any number of technical difficulties with the microphone, which didn't seem to want to adjust for anyone. It was a great deal of fun, though, and I look forward to going back next year to hear him sing again.

Just before that I bopped over to t!'s old place where silly_imp was waiting. She was kind enough to provide me with two pairs of shoes and a few very nice tops as well as a large stack of towels (I've never had enough towels, so hopefully this will remedy the situation). I'm especially pleased with a little red top that she gave me, and which I hope to be able to wear soon, maybe this weekend. I have to run a couple of things through the wash, though, because they've been sitting around unworn for a little while.

The CAM received a copy of The Rules by messenger from one of our clients today. Since she wasn't here I decided to snoop through the book. Actually, I probably would have snooped even if she had been here. What a load of tripe. Do people actually believe this stuff? It really made me rather sick to my stomach.

Okay, some of it wasn't bad. The injunction to be happy with yourself and not act completely desperate and throw yourself at people is a good one. OTOH, the idea that a woman needs to act like a delicate butterfly, aloof and mysterious and vaguely unattainable, in order to attract a man, is pretty damned repugnant. "Don't be yourself at first," the women who wrote the book caution. "When did wearing your heart on your sleeve ever work for you?" Also, they warn to let the man be the "aggressor," as it's in his nature. Women should be passive and acted upon, or at least give that impression.

Barf.

I don't know what I find worse: the fact that these women think this way, or the possibility that it's precisely this sort of attitude that does work.

I would like to know what society is smoking lately.

Comments

And now, for a different perspective...

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Also, they warn to let the man be the "aggressor," as it's in his nature. Women should be passive and acted upon, or at least give that impression.

Barf.

I don't know what I find worse: the fact that these women think this way, or the possibility that it's precisely this sort of attitude that does work.

I've known two women who could really pull off "agressive" well. One of them was my ex wife, and another one, who did come on to me was really not my type. Those were the only two who I have ever seen pull it off, though. Most women say they do agressive and want to be "active," but when push comes to shove, they don't pull it off. Conversely, I've known about three or four who were up front about wanting to be pursued and chased and "reactive" and admitted it openly.

Personal belief based upon admittedly annecdotal evidence: Most women either pay lip service to the idea of being sexually agressive, but really aren't, or merely think they are but really aren't. Obviously, each individual is different, and the people with whom one normally associates and to whom one is attracted are a selected sample, but still...

Ah, I dunno. Everyone is unique. Statistics doesn't matter in the long run, unless we're talking book sales...

Re: And now, for a different perspective...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I'm more annoyed by the implication that women must be passive in order to get any attention from men. If a woman prefers to be pursued, that's her prerogative. However, a "rule" stating that men somehow don't find assertive women to be attractive or desirable just makes me want to puke.

Re: And now, for a different perspective...

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Oh please. They're nutz. Active, agressive, initiatory...all of these things are sexy in a woman, if done with finesse (or not, if a guy is into blunt and crude).

Bah

[swestrup]

I've always interpreted passive as 'disinterested' and I'm not about to pursue a disinterested woman. I had one girlfriend in highschool who believed in not letting folks know what she really thought.

Ever since then, I've tried to pursue relationships with people who know how, and are willing to, communicate their feelings.

[joane.livejournal.com]

The Rules wasn't written for normal girls who want to find their true soulmates (from what I gather, the Rules seems to require living as a fake alternate persona for your entire life, so you'd never find a true companion anyway). AFAI can tell, it was written for the hot chicks who are looking for permanent wallets (preferably with dicks attached) to support their "martinis with the girls" lifestyles.

[toughlovemuse.livejournal.com]

And we are all aware that the woman who wrote The Rules got a divorce in the end?

Nice little bit of irony there.

Good point.

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

Cynicism is its own punishment.

Re: Good point.

[toughlovemuse.livejournal.com]

Well, that and trying to apply a system of hard-and-fast rules to any relationship. It's been my experience that very few things are universally true.

What Society is smoking lately?

[blackbuffet.livejournal.com]

Crack Cocaine.

I find worse that this it is precisely the sort of attitude that does work because it means that anyone who is being true to themselves and acting like they truly are will be interpreted as being as fake... AND THAT IS SCARY.

How is someone supposed to find someone that they are truly looking for if they can never tell what is REAL and what is not?

Most women I know do not want to be passive and acted upon to let man be the agressor (as it's in his nature) to then take advantage of them for the rest of the relationship...

So, like I was saying... Crack Cocaine.