I wonder if I should be worried...
Jun. 5th, 2004 03:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeMy imaginary worlds are quickly becoming more important in my life than my real world. At least, online. Luckily, I don't think I spend more time in them than I do in the real world yet, which would be a definite "Danger, Will Robinson!" sign, but I can sort of see how that might happen, one of these days.
It's so much nicer to live the life of a Jedi padawan, or even a thirteen-year-old gymnast who lives in the future, or an Air Force counterintelligence specialist, than my own life. They don't have to worry about paying the rent, or about their feelings of inadequacy or their completely stupid fears of abandonment. They have problems that are bigger than that, but that are surmountable.
My problems are all small and stupid, but I can't see a way around them, because they're my problems, in essence.
It's more fun to pretend to be other people, though. The people who live in my head live richer lives than I do. My life just isn't that exciting. I don't demand constant adventure and thrills, mind you. I'd just like... well, something more. Something more than getting up in the morning and waiting for the day to end.
Funnily enough, I'm not depressed. Not yet. I'm a bit hypomanic these days (Exhibit A: the billions of icons I've produced in the past few days), so I expect I'll come down from that soon and be well and truly depressed.
But my moods are unbalanced, as are my sleep patterns, and that's never a good sign.
It's so much nicer to live the life of a Jedi padawan, or even a thirteen-year-old gymnast who lives in the future, or an Air Force counterintelligence specialist, than my own life. They don't have to worry about paying the rent, or about their feelings of inadequacy or their completely stupid fears of abandonment. They have problems that are bigger than that, but that are surmountable.
My problems are all small and stupid, but I can't see a way around them, because they're my problems, in essence.
It's more fun to pretend to be other people, though. The people who live in my head live richer lives than I do. My life just isn't that exciting. I don't demand constant adventure and thrills, mind you. I'd just like... well, something more. Something more than getting up in the morning and waiting for the day to end.
Funnily enough, I'm not depressed. Not yet. I'm a bit hypomanic these days (Exhibit A: the billions of icons I've produced in the past few days), so I expect I'll come down from that soon and be well and truly depressed.
But my moods are unbalanced, as are my sleep patterns, and that's never a good sign.
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Date: 2004-06-05 03:34 pm (UTC)What he said. When the world seems to be full of nothing but small chores... well, being creative with friends strikes me as one of the better ways of dealing with it.
The real world will recharge itself and be interesting again, give it time, and the thing you're waiting for with itchy feet will reveal itself, or something else will.
And then it'll give you an amazing character or plot idea. :p
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Date: 2004-06-05 03:36 pm (UTC)*snigger*
Yeah, that's pretty much the way of things.
Thanks. :)