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mousmeI just realised that I posted an incoherent rant in my last entry, so here's a bit of an explanation of why I had that little fit:
1- The post I read came out of the blue, and the first part really did appear to apply to me. So the element of surprise played a big part in why I got so upset.
2- I felt judged: the wording was to the effect that *because* I have access to the internet it means I have disposable income and thus shouldn't "whine" (their words, not mine) about not having money. This didn't sit well with me because, contrary to that person, I happen to know that the $14 a month I spend on the internet would not help to cover the $425 a month I need for rent. True, the internet is a luxury, and thus if I were *truly* financially responsible I would cancel it. I will take this under consideration.
Yes, I have a car. I decided to get this car when I was working at a job far away and a car was a luxury I could afford and which would considerably simplify my life. Right now I'm trying to figure out if there's any way on earth I can get rid of the thing before it consumes what's left of my bank account and my sense of self-worth.
Last point in this category: I know full well that I am lucky to have parents who can bail me out *this time*. I don't need my face rubbed in it, thank you very much. Being told that I'm a whiny pathetic loser because I don't want to have to be dependent on them for this is akin to saying to a person who just fell down the stairs and broke their leg "God, you're a clumsy idiot! Who taught you to walk?"
Naturally, this all hurt *only* because it echoes my own feelings of inadequacy and inability to cope with my own life. If I wasn't already harbouring the same doubts and negative thoughts, I wouldn't even have given that post a second glance.
3- I also felt betrayed, in a big way. When this person has posted their own financial and emotional troubles, I have either responded in what I assumed was a supportive way, or else remained silent because I felt I had nothing constructive to say.
I would never, ever in a million years post something quite so insensitive publicly, where I knew that person might come across it and be potentially hurt by it, especially if I knew that they were having a rough time emotionally. It smacks to me of kicking someone while they're down, and then spitting on them in the street for good measure where other people can see.
So in short, the post felt like a slap in the face, a swift knife to the kidneys, and a bucket of ice water dumped on my head all at the same time. That's all I have to say about that (and it's already quite a lot).
1- The post I read came out of the blue, and the first part really did appear to apply to me. So the element of surprise played a big part in why I got so upset.
2- I felt judged: the wording was to the effect that *because* I have access to the internet it means I have disposable income and thus shouldn't "whine" (their words, not mine) about not having money. This didn't sit well with me because, contrary to that person, I happen to know that the $14 a month I spend on the internet would not help to cover the $425 a month I need for rent. True, the internet is a luxury, and thus if I were *truly* financially responsible I would cancel it. I will take this under consideration.
Yes, I have a car. I decided to get this car when I was working at a job far away and a car was a luxury I could afford and which would considerably simplify my life. Right now I'm trying to figure out if there's any way on earth I can get rid of the thing before it consumes what's left of my bank account and my sense of self-worth.
Last point in this category: I know full well that I am lucky to have parents who can bail me out *this time*. I don't need my face rubbed in it, thank you very much. Being told that I'm a whiny pathetic loser because I don't want to have to be dependent on them for this is akin to saying to a person who just fell down the stairs and broke their leg "God, you're a clumsy idiot! Who taught you to walk?"
Naturally, this all hurt *only* because it echoes my own feelings of inadequacy and inability to cope with my own life. If I wasn't already harbouring the same doubts and negative thoughts, I wouldn't even have given that post a second glance.
3- I also felt betrayed, in a big way. When this person has posted their own financial and emotional troubles, I have either responded in what I assumed was a supportive way, or else remained silent because I felt I had nothing constructive to say.
I would never, ever in a million years post something quite so insensitive publicly, where I knew that person might come across it and be potentially hurt by it, especially if I knew that they were having a rough time emotionally. It smacks to me of kicking someone while they're down, and then spitting on them in the street for good measure where other people can see.
So in short, the post felt like a slap in the face, a swift knife to the kidneys, and a bucket of ice water dumped on my head all at the same time. That's all I have to say about that (and it's already quite a lot).
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-24 05:01 pm (UTC)I wish I could do more than send good vibes your way. I wish you didn't have to deal with all the crap you're already dealing with. :P
*hugs*