God, but I'm tired

[mousme]

Had lunch with the Paternal Unit again, and listened to more badgering about my finances for an hour and a bit. It's become a daily thing now, ever since he discovered that I'd miscalculated my finances for last month. I have the duty and honour now to listen to him tell me how much I suck every day of the week, several times a day usually.

He also seems to expect me, within a span of less than 24 horus each time, to come up with a solution to all my problems that will satisfy him. When I don't he tells me to "stop acting like a baby" and grow up. Easier said than done when he talks to me like a five-year-old.

I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to tell him to shove it, that I don't want his help or his money anymore, and to go get a loan somewhere to tide me over until I can get a job. Then I could happily cut off ties with both my parents, since dealing with them every day makes me want to perform hara kiri with a wooden spoon. Problem is, I have no idea how that's supposed to work. Besides, no bank in their right mind would ever give me a loan since I have no job.

Christ, what a mess.

Comments

advice?

[paganmommy.livejournal.com]

Pull a fast one. It isn't really lying, it is a trick that is terribly annoying once it becomes habit, but terribly clever and good for one's sanity when applied properly. Nod and act as though you are listening, while going over something else in your brain. Don't expect any of your plans to meet approval! Just consider them a beginning, let him "fix them", nod your head and claim how brilliant he is and remark that you are so glad that he is there to teach you so well.
Hopefully, the pill is less bitter that way. None of this includes a promise to follow through. None of this is actually saying that he is "better" than you, just that you appreciate and need him, and maybe that is all he really wants. *hugs*

Re: advice?

[mousme.livejournal.com]

:)

Thanks.

I wish your advice could work in this case, but the problem is that my father is in fact an extremely intelligent man (far moreso than I am, in any case), and he can tell when I'm doing that. :P

I just have to sit and grit my teeth and bear it, is all.

*hugs*

[meallanmouse.livejournal.com]

Maybe no more lunch with him for a while? Really. Taking you out to lunch is just a way for him to exert more control... same with eating at their place.

:: schnugs ::

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I work in the same building as him. V. hard to tell him I just don't want to have lunch with him without engendering another psychodrama, because then he'll just tell me I'm acting like a baby again and to "get off the pot" (his favourite expression) and act like an adult.

:P

You know that expression about the rock and a hard place? With me it's more like I'm caught between the asphalt and a steam roller.

[meallanmouse.livejournal.com]

You could always tell him you have to work hard over lunch hour and would rather do that so that you can bring in that money you need. He can't really bitch you out for that. Well, logically speaking, neeway...

:: schnugs ::

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I guess it's worth a shot. He'll see right through me, of course, or else tell me not to be stupid and to come along.

*sigh*

Am trying not to be melodramatic or put-upon, and it's not working. ;)

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

Y'know... at this point (watching you and another person going through parental unit problems, as well as having them myself), I can only say this:

Parents... can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. (if you know what I mean? ;) )

*HUGS*

C.

[curtana.livejournal.com]

Maybe this is too simple, but you could try refusing to talk about it. Keep him off the topic of your finances by starting your conversation at lunch on another subject (preferably one he is interested in - and from what you say, your father is knowledgable on many diverse subjects, so that shouldn't be too hard). If he starts to talk about money, you can try to steer the conversation back to something more pleasant. If he doesn't get the hint, just plainly say that you aren't interested in talking about it with him. If he pesters, tell him that you've gotten tired of him treating you like a child, that you can take care of the situation, that you appreciate he's concerned but he's not helping the situation any by belittling you, or something along those lines. As per my usual advice, no need to get upset or defensive - stand up for yourself with quiet dignity :)