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Good times
Dec. 13th, 2008 02:23 amThere was beer, pizza, X-Files, and hanging out with friends.
Now I am going to go pass out. Got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.
Now I am going to go pass out. Got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.
Dec. 13th, 2008
Stress? What stress?
Dec. 13th, 2008 03:14 pmDear Body,
I know I'm stressed. I promise I will be significantly less stressed in a few hours' time. Could you please knock it off with making me feel sick? It's not actually helping me: if it's a warning from you, then thank you, warning received. You may quit it any time now. No, really. Even right now, if you think you can manage it.
Love,
Me
I know I'm stressed. I promise I will be significantly less stressed in a few hours' time. Could you please knock it off with making me feel sick? It's not actually helping me: if it's a warning from you, then thank you, warning received. You may quit it any time now. No, really. Even right now, if you think you can manage it.
Love,
Me
Maybe I need to add more warning labels
Dec. 13th, 2008 04:06 pm( Nattering about failed relationships. Nothing to see here. )
Anyway. This is me processing. Nothing to see here. I'm also disabling comments, because my lovely friends have already given me enough advice (often very good advice!) on the topic. I'm just talking to myself in written form in order to make sense of this in my head.
I'm not looking forward to talking to her. I can't see any way in which this conversation can go well, and I don't really feel like explaining myself. I know I probably owe her an explanation, but so far she either doesn't understand or doesn't believe anything I say. So the emotionally and physically exhausted part of me keeps asking "Why bother?" The cynical part of me is also needling me with the thought that I may be meeting her only because she still has some of my stuff which I want back (a book, a CD, a pair of expensive socks, and my keys). That thought makes me very very uncomfortable. Part of me keeps telling me just to write them off as a loss and move on.
I don't know. I'm tired, and really unhappy about this whole situation. Once it's done I'll go back to the way things were, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I like my life: I have a fulfilling job, fantastic friends, and parents who love me. My life is really good, overall, and while it hurts now to have BorderCrossing leave, having her gone is not going to make a huge difference in my life, except possibly to reduce my stress levels: juggling a girlfriend along with all the other demands in my life was hard, although I thought it was worth it at the time.
If that makes me a bad, selfish, horrible person, then so be it.
Anyway. This is me processing. Nothing to see here. I'm also disabling comments, because my lovely friends have already given me enough advice (often very good advice!) on the topic. I'm just talking to myself in written form in order to make sense of this in my head.
I'm not looking forward to talking to her. I can't see any way in which this conversation can go well, and I don't really feel like explaining myself. I know I probably owe her an explanation, but so far she either doesn't understand or doesn't believe anything I say. So the emotionally and physically exhausted part of me keeps asking "Why bother?" The cynical part of me is also needling me with the thought that I may be meeting her only because she still has some of my stuff which I want back (a book, a CD, a pair of expensive socks, and my keys). That thought makes me very very uncomfortable. Part of me keeps telling me just to write them off as a loss and move on.
I don't know. I'm tired, and really unhappy about this whole situation. Once it's done I'll go back to the way things were, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I like my life: I have a fulfilling job, fantastic friends, and parents who love me. My life is really good, overall, and while it hurts now to have BorderCrossing leave, having her gone is not going to make a huge difference in my life, except possibly to reduce my stress levels: juggling a girlfriend along with all the other demands in my life was hard, although I thought it was worth it at the time.
If that makes me a bad, selfish, horrible person, then so be it.
