KILL!

People are getting on my nerves tonight.

1- The paranoid man from yesterday called back seven times, and I got him again tonight. I sent the local cops to deal with him, but they won't be there for a while.

2- The woman who decided that at 22:30 on a Saturday night she would call the RCMP to locate her "missing" daughter -whom she hadn't seen or heard from in two years. It's a custody case, naturally. The woman was not only rude with me, but accused her ex-husband's new wife of threatening her (hah!) and made the mistake of telling me: "She's not her real mother. I'm her biological mother!" after she admitted she couldn't remember her daughter's birthday. Yes, lady, you're a real winner. No wonder you don't have custody of your child.

3- The idiot at the security desk who set off an alarm in the building, and then ignored the phone when I called to check on them. I could see the guy through the security camera, sitting there staring at the phone as it rang. I went to check, thinking perhaps his ringer was off. My colleague told me that he'd phone the front desk as soon as he saw me in the camera.

I had the following exchange with the security guy:

Me: "Hi, is your phone not working?"

*phone begins to ring*

Security Guy: "No, it's fine."

Me: "So... why aren't you answering it?"

Security Guy: "Oh, I'm not the one who answers the phone. He is." *points to where his partner has gone off to the shipping area*

Me: *boggles* "Uh... he's not here. Why don't you pick up the phone?"

Security Guy: "But he's right over there!"

Me: "And yet, he's not here to pick up the phone. When we call, you're supposed to answer."

Security Guy: "It's not my job to answer the phone."

Security Guy #2: *comes back* "What's going on?"

Me: *gritting teeth* "You guys set off an alarm and didn't answer the phone when we called. You need to call us first if you're going to be opening the shipping doors."

Security Guy #2: "Oh. I thought it was only after 23:00 that we're supposed to advise you."

Me: *points at the clock, which reads 23:10* "It's after 23:00. Besides, you always have to call us outside of business hours, because we're always going to have an alarm."

Security Guy #2: "Oh, right."

Me: "Okay. I have to go back to work. Please call if you're going to open any more doors." *goes back to post*

Alarm: *goes off two minutes later*

Phone: *fails to ring*

Me: *headdesk* "I give up."

Ack! The sparkles, they burn!

I read Twilight last night, because I figured if I was going to openly mock the sparkly vampires, then I should at least do so with some knowledge of the material.

Yeah.

I'd promise to avoid spoilers in my review, but since there WAS NO PLOT EVER I don't think it's really necessary. Okay, onward.

1- The book won no points with me by being full of typos. Do the editors just not care?

2- The writing is okay. Nothing exceptional, but not terrible either, and the author has a good feel for sentence structure and rhythm. The tone is appropriate for a first-person teenage narrator (although a bit on the young side for a girl who's supposedly seventeen: I'd have pegged her at closer to thirteen or fourteen at most). I have nothing against the writing style for the most part, although it becomes very very purple (especially in the notorious "sparkling" scene) and kind of lurid and overblown at times. It's not egregious for the most part.

( Herein I discuss the characters and plot —or lack thereof: spoilers ahoy! )

In short, I'm very glad that this was a quick and easy read. I lost patience with it very quickly, so if it had taken me any longer than a couple of hours to read I probably wouldn't have bothered finishing it.

In random news

I appear to be getting white hairs as my hair grows out.

I am weirdly amused and pleased by this development.