Why Phnee should not be allowed to think about numbers

The Five Year Plan is looking a little shaky tonight. I did some very inexpert number crunching, and the numbers are depressing. For the kind of mortgage I'm looking for I'd have to come up with a down payment of at least $30K. $20K is doable (at the rate I'm going it'll happen in five years), but the extra $10K (or even $20K if I want to have some wriggle room when it comes to my price range) is going to be trickier.

Add to that the purchase of a car (likely on a four-year-plan), and suddenly I'm looking at a whole chunk of cash I didn't really consider when first coming up with the Five Year Plan.

The long and short of this (don't mind me while I angst pointlessly) is to talk to my Finances Guy and figure out just what I have to do in order to make all this happen. I think it's doable, but for the life of me I can't figure out how to do this by myself. What I need is someone better with numbers and finances than I to walk me through a bunch of options, to see what I can come up with.

Someone please remind me that I'm not insane for thinking I can do this by myself?

( In which Phnee goes on a tangent about lack of romance )

Mostly I'm kind of terrified that I'm going to fail epically when I get out there. I'm one person, and there will be lots of acreage to take care of, and livestock, and so many things that can go wrong which would be more easily dealt with if I weren't on my own. I just worry that I'm going to get a mortgage approved, move out to the godforsaken howling wilderness, only to fall flat on my face financially when things don't work out. Usually I'm more optimistic than this, but usually I don't think quite so hard about how I'm supposed to manage by myself what most people manage as a couple or as a family.

On the plus side

I spent most of tonight staving off anxiety by making lists and planning out the next three months of my life in terms of moving and other things. :)

Nothing gives me a greater geeky thrill than playing with office supplies and making plans and charts. It also totally gives me the illusion that I'm in control of things.

Mischief Managed

I rescued my bike from my parents' place and brought it to Eddy's Bicycle Shop where they gleefully told me that they could have it ready by tomorrow, Friday at latest. Apparently with the rain today they got a jump start on all their work.

So the next thing to do is to get myself a backpack (hard to bicycle with a purse, don'tcha know), and the first day of good weather will see me cycling (very, very slowly) to work.

Now I just have to muster the energy to get back out there to go grocery shopping before I have to leave for work. Meh. Don't wanna. I also have to change into my work clothes. Moving bicycles is a messy business.