Why Phnee should not be allowed to think about numbers

[mousme]

The Five Year Plan is looking a little shaky tonight. I did some very inexpert number crunching, and the numbers are depressing. For the kind of mortgage I'm looking for I'd have to come up with a down payment of at least $30K. $20K is doable (at the rate I'm going it'll happen in five years), but the extra $10K (or even $20K if I want to have some wriggle room when it comes to my price range) is going to be trickier.

Add to that the purchase of a car (likely on a four-year-plan), and suddenly I'm looking at a whole chunk of cash I didn't really consider when first coming up with the Five Year Plan.

The long and short of this (don't mind me while I angst pointlessly) is to talk to my Finances Guy and figure out just what I have to do in order to make all this happen. I think it's doable, but for the life of me I can't figure out how to do this by myself. What I need is someone better with numbers and finances than I to walk me through a bunch of options, to see what I can come up with.

Someone please remind me that I'm not insane for thinking I can do this by myself?

It's times like these when I selfishly wish I wasn't doing this all on my own. If I had a girlfriend (or a wife) with the same dream, we'd be in business. It wouldn't solve all of our problems, obviously, but it would mean someone to talk to about this, to bounce ideas off, to be there as moral and possible financial support. There are times, like tonight, when I am really really unhappy with the whole prospect of being single, and being so for the foreseeable future.

Y'know, for the most part I am quite happy to be single. I have my own little routine, I come and go as I please, and I don't have to worry about what effect my job and schedule has on anyone but me. I am happy with who I am, and have no difficulty being alone with myself.

Then there are days when I would very much like to have someone here sharing this really keen life with me. Someone who would be there when I wake up in the morning and who would (usually) be home when I got back at the end of the day. Someone with whom to have pancakes on Saturday mornings, and with whom I could plan to move to the country and raise chickens.

I want to have kids someday. I want to foster children who need a second chance at having something like a normal life. I can't do that by myself, not with the job I have now. I don't see myself giving up my job: how else would I be able to afford living on a small hobby farm by myself? I can't foster kids if I'm working rotating shifts all the time. Sure, I'm planning to try to get a supervisor position in five to ten years (somewhere around seven would be my guess), but there's no guarantee I'll get it. Hell, rotating shifts are going to make it really hard to keep even small livestock. I won't have that much money to pay for hired help, so it'll all be up to me.


Mostly I'm kind of terrified that I'm going to fail epically when I get out there. I'm one person, and there will be lots of acreage to take care of, and livestock, and so many things that can go wrong which would be more easily dealt with if I weren't on my own. I just worry that I'm going to get a mortgage approved, move out to the godforsaken howling wilderness, only to fall flat on my face financially when things don't work out. Usually I'm more optimistic than this, but usually I don't think quite so hard about how I'm supposed to manage by myself what most people manage as a couple or as a family.

Comments

[bodhifox.livejournal.com]

Your *problem* is in deciding you have to do it all yourself. It really is very easy to trade favors or make arrangements with neighbors, especially if they're like minded people you already know. That's interdependence. No one can do it all on their own. Read that: NO one. Because there'll come a day you're too sick with flu to feed the chickens, or sprain your ankle and someone else will have to help. You don't hire out either, you barter. That's how it works. It's a matter of adjusting your stubborn independent streak to allow for people to help you.

Of course the ideal is a partner, but obviously I know nothing about doing that right.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, but I can't always rely on neighbours. If I have the flu, or sprain an ankle, that's one thing. I am able to ask for help if I need it periodically. The problem comes when I am constantly relying on someone else to help me along with basic things. It's not fair to them, unless I manage to give them something in return. I hate taking advantage of people.

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

If someone milks your goats in exchange for the milk, well that sounds fair to me ;)

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

If you put your savings for the down payment into an RRSP, then the money will earn income tax free. You will be able to "borrow" from your RRSP for the down payment using the Home Buyers Plan. Don't forget to budget for moving and repairs. There will also be notary fees and "welcome tax".

Next year there will probably be a new savings "vehicle". I think it's $4,000 per year that you can save tax free. That would be the way to save for the car.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Good to know about the new "vehicle." I think I might even be able to manage $4,000 a year, if I'm really careful.

The problem with the RRSP thing (which I'm doing), is that I think there's a maximum of $20K which I can borrow from it, which doesn't begin to cover the minimum down payment of 20% which most banks insist on, or else ask you to get extra mortgage insurance or something. If it were just a question of shunting money into my RRSP, I think I'd be less worried (for some reason).

Also, yeah, I've already thought about moving and repairs, and while I wasn't thinking specifically about the "welcome tax," I did know about it. Gah. Buying real estate is expensive.

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

I just remembered: the house inspector and the bank's inspector and possibly a surveyor and of course the notary (lawyer in Ontario?)

When my ex and I bought a duplex, we got a balance of sale (second mortgage) from the seller. A second mortgage from the seller is a very interesting "instrument". We wouldn't have had enough down payment for a conventional mortgage otherwise and would have had to pay the insurance and/or increased interest rate.

This only works if the seller can afford to have that money invested. They get a better interest rate than they could get at the bank and the buyer/borrower pays a lower interest rate than they could get at the bank. It is very secure for the lender. If the buyer/borrower doesn't make the monthly payments, the house ownership reverts to the previous owner for the mortgage. The buyer does not get back the down payment or any capital paid on the mortgage. This makes it attractive to the seller. It's good to talk to the bank before doing this. Our bank manager told us that the bank would give us a line of credit for the entire balance of sale when it came due in two years. That made that purchase possible for us. It worked out well.

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

The way things tend to work is that when you least expect it, you run into Ms. Right, and by the time the dust has settled and you're down to having wild monkey sex only twice a day, you've married and are living on your acreage.

At least that's how it worked for me. Fear not. Someday you will run into somebody and you both will never find your socks again :).

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Enh. At the rate I'm going, that's not all that likely. I'd have to actually be doing something other than work and sleep all day. I love my friends, but 80% of them are married and the other 20% who are single are straight. So I kind of have to go outside my friends' circle to find anyone, and I haven't had the time, energy or inclination to do so.

Meow!

;P

Ms. Right

[ankhorite.livejournal.com]

+1

You will, Phnee. You will.

Besides, we haven't talked at all about what, if anything, you are doing to meet women now.

She can't find you if you're always at work or always at home.

::: reads further :::

Okay, we HAVE talked about it. Look, don't think I'm nuts... I know several very happy marriages that were internet-induced. Shall we talk about that?

Or do you just want to go to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival and scope out the Canucks there? They're all back-to-the-land types, some more seriously than others. And there's, duh, music. Lots.

It's coming up in August, and I have friends who usually go and would help you find your way around (though I'm sure you'd be fine on your own).

Re: Ms. Right

[mousme.livejournal.com]

She can't find you if you're always at work or always at home.

Amen. I just suck at the dating scene. Always have.

I won't be able to get to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (*shudders at the intentional misspelling*) this year: I'm scheduled to work, and I have to ask for vacation time much further in advance than that. Maybe next year. :)

[merccom.livejournal.com]

dont worry about it all, just make sure you've written your goals down on paper and keep the paper posted everywhere (on your mirror, in your car, on your desk, on your nightstand)

in my experiance goals rarely ever work out like you expect them to but they do in fact work out as long as you stay focused on them.

as for finding a significant other, one thing i did a long time ago was make a list of everything that i wanted in a partner. go crazy with it, be very detailed. when you do that you at least you'll know explicity what your looking for and the "law of attraction" will start working for you. (i know, i know, it sounds crazy but it works)

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

First of all, I would like to remind you that you don't have to do everything at once. Yes, the house and the car come at the same time, but the chickens don't have to show up until you've got yourself together. Goats? Maybe they show up after the chickens. Remember that you can take things as slowly or as quickly as YOU want. You don't have to show up on your territory the first day and have everything in place. Chill out, dude, it's going to happen!

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

mind you, this coming for someone just as impatient!

[curtana.livejournal.com]

The mortgage insurance isn't that bad, really. For us, it works out to about $30 a month, so it was preferable from our point of view to pay it than to wait another year or two to save up a bit more before buying.

[curtana.livejournal.com]

Checking exact numbers, it's even less than $30 a month for us - closer to $20. It works out to something like 2% of the mortgage over the length of the policy, divided up into little monthly payments. So my impression is, if the extra amount you're trying to save is more than 2% of your total mortgage, you'd be better off just going with the lower down payment and getting your place sooner.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

That's really good to know. Could be worth it for me too, if I want to have money for renovations/unexpected crap. $30 a month isn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be.

Thanks!

I think I can, I think I can!

[mcphoenixa.livejournal.com]

You can do this. As a single mom, I had nothing (litterally) 8 years ago. Like you, I had a plan: despite my friends and family wanting me to have a nicer, stylish appartment, I took the smallest, cheapest one I could find, gave the bedroom to my girls and slept in an almost closet for 3 years, did my groceries with a rotary system-coupons and specials (we feasted on sea food, steak and fresh veggies for less than 50$/week) and bought anything else used. I had a little over 15K in 3 years in RRSP wich was my cash-down on my little house. I have 3 big veggy gardens, picked a huge bucket of cherries off my cherry tree wich I planted 3 years ago but no, still haven't painted my living room, still don't have a car but I have an electric scooter and can't afford to take the girls to Disneyland but they enjoy reading in our hamac. With careful planning, by beeing frugal and resourceful, you can do this.