Why are post titles so hard?

[mousme]

 Maybe I will simply start using the day's date rather than coming up with titles each time.

1-State of the Phnee

 

I spotted an injured fox while out driving earlier today. I’m not an expert in wildlife by any means, but it looked very young, maybe less than a year old.  It was crossing the road and limping badly, but it tried to hurry away when I approached. I didn’t think it would let me get near, but I did at least have to try. I hope that it was just a sprain and that it will be able to heal and not die during the hard winter months. It was a real bummer, but it fled across the fields and I don’t think there’s a reliable way for me to go back, locate, and trap it to bring it to a wildlife rehab centre, alas.

 

In other news, ADHD is a wild ride sometimes. Remember how I got myself some locking dumbbells so I could do weightlifting exercises at home? Yeah. So, it turns out I did not read the product description carefully enough when I bought the product, and the box only comes with ONE dumbbell in it, which makes for some pretty lopsided exercises in many instances (especially when I want to use them to assist with squats or lunges or whatever). Fine, easily fixed, they’re on sale, whatever. I also thought that they went up in 5lb increments, but no, they go up in 10lb increments, which is a LOT for a baby beginner like me. My current thought is that I’m going to try to find some 5lb wrist or ankle weights and “attach” them to the dumbbell whenever I need to go up by 5lbs, but I’m not sure how feasible that is.

 

I’m keeping all of my new-to-me equipment in my bedroom, which faithful readers will remember is on the small side (9 x 11 feet), to the point where I had to invest in a Murphy bed in order to save on space. Right now my itty-bitty home gym tucks away nicely under the bed, but I can’t get much more “extra” equipment without running out of floor space in which to actually perform the exercises I want to do. I did invest in a 20lb kettle bell as well (I have a 15lb one already) as well as a jump rope and a set of small resistance bands to complement the longer ones I have. The portable treadmill should be arriving in the next week or so as well, and I am very glad it stores upright and seems to be pretty compact.

 

I do need to take some time, maybe this weekend, to organize my room a bit more so I’ll have more space to move around. KK has loaned me her dresser for my clothes, but I’ve found I’m not really using it and it’s taking up lots of space that I could be using for other purposes. I didn’t use the dresser I had at the old house either, and KK’s is kind of busted so the drawers stick in a way that makes it really hard to use, so it’s an extra reason not to use it. I’m going to try to haul it to her storage unit this weekend and free up that space.

 

Unrelated to anything, I miss playing video games. Between work and the much longer commute and the responsibilities that go along with a new smallholding, I have managed to play for maybe 15-20 minutes a handful of times since we moved. I’d like to get back to Stardew Valley and Don’t Starve and Borderlands and all the other games I enjoy. I don’t foresee getting into new games anytime soon, but being able to just turn off my brain and get some free dopamine sounds really appealing these days.

 

2-State of the smallholding

 

I discovered a quailbreak when I checked on the quail last night. Sometime in the previous 24 hours two of the quail somehow got out of their hutch, probably when I was changing out their food/water/bedding and were sitting next to it huddled together for warmth, looking extremely out of sorts. I chucked them back inside and they seemed much happier to be back with their covey where the food and water and friendship is to be found. Because I suspected they might have been out there for about 24 hours, I was quite worried that the stress, cold, and dehydration might kill them, but I checked them a few times today and they appear to be hanging in there. I’ve had a lot of quail die in the past year, some of which was entirely my fault and some of which I assume is my fault but I can’t figure out what I did wrong, and I don’t know which feels worse, to be honest.

 

I’m really looking forward to the spring/summer, when I will be building some proper poultry housing for the quail as well as for future other poultry (chickens, ducks, maybe some other game birds because I like game birds). I am still researching different models and layouts in order to find one that I not only like but that seems like it won’t be too difficult to build as a beginner carpenter. Is it carpentry when you build an outbuilding? Or is it woodworking? I think it’s carpentry. Words are hard! I also want to build rabbit hutches and start down the road of breeding meat rabbits. Ideally, I’d like to get to the point where we are raising most of our own protein, moving away from beef and pork. In theory I could start growing Timothy hay (which is one of the main things you feed to rabbits) on part of the property, which could help to reduce feed costs, but I may be getting out over my skis with that one. All in due time, I guess.

 

I need to figure out how to hack my own brain between now and the springtime so I can get over my problems with task initiation, especially with larger projects that feel intimidating to me for any number of reasons. I have noticed that if a project seems really big or labour-intensive or involves using a tool with which I’m not familiar, it builds up into a Big Thing in my mind and I put off doing it. The problem, of course, is that setting up the things I want on the property is going to require a ton of very large, labour-intensive projects, almost all of which involve using new-to-me tools (everything from power tools to lawn mowers to snowblowers).

 

This is part of the reason I’ve started working out. I figure if I improve my cardiovascular fitness, my overall strength, endurance, balance and flexibility, then some of the work I want to do will at least feel physically less terrible. That will, I hope, remove one of the self-imposed barriers I have when it comes to getting shit done. I hate feeling hot and sweaty and struggling with heavy things (especially when I can feel my back *trying* to give out on me), and if I can train myself to better deal with the heavy things (I will be hot and sweaty in the summer regardless, but I want it to be because of the heat and not because my physical conditioning is shit). Losing weight will also likely help with that: if I have to haul around less of myself, then it stands to reason it should make things easier. 

 

I’m hoping to leverage my very accommodating friends to help me with the psychological barrier of “OMG I have never used this piece of equipment and I am SKURRED!” In some cases, I will just have to find a ladder and get over myself, of course, but I am trying very hard to acknowledge where I get in my own way and try to accommodate the fact that I am apparently neurodivergent as all fuck and see how to remove barriers in the most effective way possible for now.

 

Speaking of projects I don’t want to do, I am going to do my best to find the aforementioned ladder to get over myself this weekend and work on continuing to organize the house. I mentioned doing that in my bedroom, and I think that will be my priority, but I also know that I feel better and am able to get more stuff done when I don’t constantly live in cluttered chaos. It doesn’t help that KK is constantly adding to the mess and clutter faster than I can clean and tidy up after the both of us, but I think if I push really hard I can make some progress on that front. The main reason I haven’t is what I mentioned above: the project feels too big and overwhelming (and I’m tired and I don’t wanna!) and is physically super uncomfortable because I’m constantly having to move and bend and twist in ways that range from unpleasant to painful. It’s so much easier to just stay in my room or find a chair and fiddle around with my cell phone, but that’s no way to build a life that feels rich and meaningful, you know? I don’t know if I’ll be able to manage it this weekend, but I am setting my intention to get started on that and maybe start picking up some momentum there. The cleaner it gets (I hope) the more motivated I will be to keep cleaning, and eventually I will have it tidy enough that I can hire someone to come in twice a month and help keep it clean and tidy. 

 

I am also going to try once again to get the snow blower to work. Dylan showed me how to get it started during Un-Christmas, but even he couldn’t get it to keep running after it was started. I will have to consult YouTube to see if I can find some instructions or better yet a tutorial. We’ve had even more snowfall in the past 24 hours, and I would like to clear some pathways around the property so that I can get around more easily (I have compost that really needs to go in the bin, for instance).

3-State of the news

 

In today’s “Well, this is horrifying” news, an ICE agent was filmed straight-up murdering a woman today in Minneapolis by shooting her rep. This isn’t the first person they’ve murdered, of course, but it’s the first white woman, so it’s making headlines the way it never would for a person of colour. *sigh* I suppose in a way it’s “good” because this might (might?) be a catalyst for change, but I’m not holding my breath, here.

 

Seasonal flu is an absolute BEAR this season, with hospitals already overwhelmed and tapping into overflow space. It seems especially contagious and deadly, too, a strain of H3N2 which tends to be more virulent, from the very little reading I’ve done. I also wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a lot of HPAI hiding among all the Influenza A cases, since NO ONE APPEARS TO BE ACTIVELY TESTING FOR IT, JFC. /o\ Sorry for the all-caps, I am frustrated beyond all get out.

 

Oh, and the USA is still threatening to invade Greenland. No big deal, I guess. Fuck everything.

 

Maybe I should stop ending these posts with politics, it’s way too depressing. I’ll have to do a “feel-good” segment, like on the local news where they have the cute pet of the week or something. ;)

 

Catch you on the flip side, friends!