Today's theme is sleep, or lack thereof
Mar. 21st, 2025 07:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI had one of my relatively rare bouts of insomnia last night. I woke up at 4:45 (after going to bed at half past midnight after my evening shift), and my brain and I had the following conversation:
Brain: "TIME TO BE AWAKE NOW!"
Me: "Um, no. It's not even 5am and my alarm is set for 8:30. I have groceries to get and a therapy appointment at 10:00. I need to sleep so I'm not exhausted for my shift."
Brain: "WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BACEY! YOU ARE AWAAAAAAAKE!"
Me: "Like I said--"
Brain: "--AWAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
Me: *sigh* "Fine, maybe I'll check my phon--"
Brain: "TIME FOR INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS! HAVE YOU CONSIDERED WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF KK DIED SUDDENLY? HAVE YOU MADE CONTINGENCY PLANS?"
Me: "What? NO! That is a new intrusive thought, and it was very much not invited!"
Brain: "HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IT?"
Me: "Don't be ridiculous. There's no need for--okay, fine, yes, we have sort of talked on a very high level about estate planning and powers of attorney and stuff, but that's totally normal. You didn't need to wake me up before 5am for this."
Brain: "I NEED YOU TO CONSIDER THESE FIFTEEN OTHER RELATIVELY TRIVIAL THINGS THAT I HAVE JUST DECIDED WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT."
Me: "Do we have to? Are you feeling anxious? Because we can use the tools from our anxiety toolkit to--"
Brain: "NOPE NOT ANXIOUS JUST HYPERFIXATING. MAKE PLANS!"
Me: "What if we took a shower instead?"
Brain: "ACCEPTABLE."
I thought I might be able to sneak in a nap after my therapy appointment, but then I made a mistake in the form of deciding to call to cancel my insurance plan. KK switched us over to a more inexpensive provider with theoretically the same coverage as I have now, and I don't want to pay for two policies. In fact, I think that might be insurance fraud, or something like it. I spent forever on hold, and then the actual cancellation took a good half an hour to complete by the customer service representative who sounded like he was on death's door with some sort of upper respiratory illness.
I also booked a follow-up with the naturopath about my blood test results, since I haven't heard back from her. I assumed I'd get a call from her office to follow up, but nope, apparently I gotta do it myself. I booked online and she was full-up until almost May, but luckily I snagged an opening on March 27th, and for an online consultation no less, which is much more my speed than having to drive out there and back during my night shifts when I'd much rather be sleeping.
Coincidentally, speaking of the Mystery Tired, I did get a call back from the sleep clinic today too, and now have a follow-up appointment booked for April 14th, nearly a month to the day after my sleep test. I was actually not expecting to hear back from them for a month, so this feels very promising! I really hope they found something that will explain the Mystery Tired and also provide a relatively easy fix. If they don't find anything I have no idea what to do next. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.
At least work has been keeping me busy enough that I'm not falling asleep at my desk. We're getting into the busy season for the Marine desk, so I've been pumping out notifications almost since I came in five and half hours ago. (I've been writing this post for about three hours on and off, whenever I get a few minutes of reprieve).
Okay. Time to call it and maybe have some dinner. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
Brain: "TIME TO BE AWAKE NOW!"
Me: "Um, no. It's not even 5am and my alarm is set for 8:30. I have groceries to get and a therapy appointment at 10:00. I need to sleep so I'm not exhausted for my shift."
Brain: "WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BACEY! YOU ARE AWAAAAAAAKE!"
Me: "Like I said--"
Brain: "--AWAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
Me: *sigh* "Fine, maybe I'll check my phon--"
Brain: "TIME FOR INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS! HAVE YOU CONSIDERED WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF KK DIED SUDDENLY? HAVE YOU MADE CONTINGENCY PLANS?"
Me: "What? NO! That is a new intrusive thought, and it was very much not invited!"
Brain: "HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IT?"
Me: "Don't be ridiculous. There's no need for--okay, fine, yes, we have sort of talked on a very high level about estate planning and powers of attorney and stuff, but that's totally normal. You didn't need to wake me up before 5am for this."
Brain: "I NEED YOU TO CONSIDER THESE FIFTEEN OTHER RELATIVELY TRIVIAL THINGS THAT I HAVE JUST DECIDED WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT."
Me: "Do we have to? Are you feeling anxious? Because we can use the tools from our anxiety toolkit to--"
Brain: "NOPE NOT ANXIOUS JUST HYPERFIXATING. MAKE PLANS!"
Me: "What if we took a shower instead?"
Brain: "ACCEPTABLE."
I thought I might be able to sneak in a nap after my therapy appointment, but then I made a mistake in the form of deciding to call to cancel my insurance plan. KK switched us over to a more inexpensive provider with theoretically the same coverage as I have now, and I don't want to pay for two policies. In fact, I think that might be insurance fraud, or something like it. I spent forever on hold, and then the actual cancellation took a good half an hour to complete by the customer service representative who sounded like he was on death's door with some sort of upper respiratory illness.
I also booked a follow-up with the naturopath about my blood test results, since I haven't heard back from her. I assumed I'd get a call from her office to follow up, but nope, apparently I gotta do it myself. I booked online and she was full-up until almost May, but luckily I snagged an opening on March 27th, and for an online consultation no less, which is much more my speed than having to drive out there and back during my night shifts when I'd much rather be sleeping.
Coincidentally, speaking of the Mystery Tired, I did get a call back from the sleep clinic today too, and now have a follow-up appointment booked for April 14th, nearly a month to the day after my sleep test. I was actually not expecting to hear back from them for a month, so this feels very promising! I really hope they found something that will explain the Mystery Tired and also provide a relatively easy fix. If they don't find anything I have no idea what to do next. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.
At least work has been keeping me busy enough that I'm not falling asleep at my desk. We're getting into the busy season for the Marine desk, so I've been pumping out notifications almost since I came in five and half hours ago. (I've been writing this post for about three hours on and off, whenever I get a few minutes of reprieve).
Okay. Time to call it and maybe have some dinner. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
no subject
Date: 2025-03-22 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-22 08:33 pm (UTC)I also hope to get some answers from these follow-ups!
no subject
Date: 2025-03-22 02:59 pm (UTC)(I hope you know Pinky and the Brain, or this is going to sound out of nowhere. lol)
no subject
Date: 2025-03-22 09:00 pm (UTC)I do know Pinky and the Brain, even though I didn't watch it when it was airing. XD