How is it already February?
Jan. 31st, 2021 07:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI ended up taking a very long nap today, which I very obviously needed. I have my Mage game tonight which got cancelled last time due to the Storyteller coming down with something that was Not Covid But Still Brutal, and tonight was the earliest we could reschedule. I'm not thrilled about it being on a work night, and given my poor life choices all of last week another late night probably isn't the best idea, but I figured a nap would offset some of it.
I do feel better rested, but I'm a little off-kilter. I have a weird feeling of pressure in my left ear (normally it's my right ear that gets affected by Menière's) and my FitBit has my resting heart rate in the very high 90s, which is not usual for me. My resting heart rate is high, it's true, but it usually hovers in the mid to high-70s, so this is all very uncomfortable. I am pretty sure it's because I decided to indulge in salt and vinegar chips this weekend, so I've been drinking water for the past 20 minutes in the hopes that the extra hydration will help calm things the fuck down.
If nothing else, this will serve as a reminder that I can't just put "junk food" in my body willy-nilly anymore. You can get away with that sort of shit in your 20s and even your 30s, and maybe if I were in better overall physical condition this wouldn't be an issue, but right now I need to be more careful. *sigh*
The water does seem to be helping a bit. I was probably dehydrated on top of everything else. My ear still feels weird but I can feel my heart rate has gone down even without checking my FitBit.
I'm trying a five week "self-coaching" course on thought management, and in Week 1 it's all about identifying feelings. I have a little workbook in which I'm supposed to write down my thoughts, and then examine the physical sensations that go with them, and then identify the feeling/emotion associated with those physical sensations. It's Day 1 and I am struggling with this, because I have a long history of not feeling my feelings in my body. Like, if someone were to typically describe anxiety, they'd say their heart was racing (yes, I can appreciate the irony given what I was just writing about), their face felt hot, or their chest felt tight or they had a knot in their stomach, or their hands were clammy, or whatever else. I don't ever remember feeling anxiety in that way: for me it just results in all my thoughts racing ahead a million miles a minute.
Anyway, I'm not sure how to do this exercise right now. I identified a negative thought, and... my body feels the way it always feels. I'm going to persevere, but I can't help thinking "God, it's Day 1 and I'm already doing it wrong." Accompanied by my body STILL not feeling different, I might add. :P
On a more positive note, I've now been posting every day since the beginning of January, and I've found it's overall become easier to remember to come back here every day and check my friends' list and talk a little about my day, unless something major happened to distract me. But the general trend is getting easier, which is nice. Not too many people from my old friends post on LJ or DW these days, but it's been nice to come back and just do a thought dump about my day.
I do feel better rested, but I'm a little off-kilter. I have a weird feeling of pressure in my left ear (normally it's my right ear that gets affected by Menière's) and my FitBit has my resting heart rate in the very high 90s, which is not usual for me. My resting heart rate is high, it's true, but it usually hovers in the mid to high-70s, so this is all very uncomfortable. I am pretty sure it's because I decided to indulge in salt and vinegar chips this weekend, so I've been drinking water for the past 20 minutes in the hopes that the extra hydration will help calm things the fuck down.
If nothing else, this will serve as a reminder that I can't just put "junk food" in my body willy-nilly anymore. You can get away with that sort of shit in your 20s and even your 30s, and maybe if I were in better overall physical condition this wouldn't be an issue, but right now I need to be more careful. *sigh*
The water does seem to be helping a bit. I was probably dehydrated on top of everything else. My ear still feels weird but I can feel my heart rate has gone down even without checking my FitBit.
I'm trying a five week "self-coaching" course on thought management, and in Week 1 it's all about identifying feelings. I have a little workbook in which I'm supposed to write down my thoughts, and then examine the physical sensations that go with them, and then identify the feeling/emotion associated with those physical sensations. It's Day 1 and I am struggling with this, because I have a long history of not feeling my feelings in my body. Like, if someone were to typically describe anxiety, they'd say their heart was racing (yes, I can appreciate the irony given what I was just writing about), their face felt hot, or their chest felt tight or they had a knot in their stomach, or their hands were clammy, or whatever else. I don't ever remember feeling anxiety in that way: for me it just results in all my thoughts racing ahead a million miles a minute.
Anyway, I'm not sure how to do this exercise right now. I identified a negative thought, and... my body feels the way it always feels. I'm going to persevere, but I can't help thinking "God, it's Day 1 and I'm already doing it wrong." Accompanied by my body STILL not feeling different, I might add. :P
On a more positive note, I've now been posting every day since the beginning of January, and I've found it's overall become easier to remember to come back here every day and check my friends' list and talk a little about my day, unless something major happened to distract me. But the general trend is getting easier, which is nice. Not too many people from my old friends post on LJ or DW these days, but it's been nice to come back and just do a thought dump about my day.
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no subject
Date: 2021-02-02 02:58 am (UTC)Best of luck on the thought management course!