Well, isn't stress fun?

[mousme]

I didn't get the job I applied for, which is not the end of the world, as I'll be charging another $1,500 for the newest translation I'm going to work on.

I did get to bed at 10pm, but woke up with a massive panic attack at 10:30. I don't even remember *why* I thought I should be panicking, but panic I did until I thought I'd never be able to breathe again. Managed to convince myself that whatever I'd panicked about (I think it was something to do with there being someone in my apartment) wasn't going to happen, and managed to get back to sleep after that.

Slept more or less okay (woke up a few times, got woken up by cats at a few intervals, what have you) and got up at 9:30 feeling as though I hadn't slept at all.

Will try again tonight. :P


I managed to get some of the dishes done, but I've let things get so out of hand that I don't have room in my small sink to do it all efficiently.

So, I've decided to revolutionise my world of dishwashing, at least for the week: I filled the bathtub with soapy water and have left the dishes to soak until I get home tonight. Once I get this huge mess fixed it should be easier to do the dishes a little bit at a time instead of letting them pile up.

The kitchen floor is also proving to be a big challenge due to some cat-related spills that I didn't deal with properly. However, I am confident that a few days of effort should see me through that crisis as well.

Tonight my main goal is to throw away all that needs to be thrown away and put it out for the trash tomorrow. Again, clearing away the clutter should help with the cleanup and my own peace of mind.


begin rant

I am no longer interested in helping my ex get over himself. I tried, and he's going right back to the passive-aggressive, manipulative behaviour that nearly made me lose my mind in January. I don't have the time or the mental energy to deal with this kind of crap right now, or at any time in my life, really. He doesn't want closure (no matter how much he may need it), he wants a bad guy on whom to blame all his troubles so that he can come out smelling of roses. That's all well and good, but it's a game he can play alone as far as I'm concerned: he doesn't need me around to convince himself that he's really an okay guy who was unfairly punished for no good reason. :P

/end rant

Comments

[mousme.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what I figure.

At the instigation of one of our mutual friends, we exchanged a few emails because he claims to want "closure," but the exchange only proved to me that he's still trying to pull the same stunts as he did in January, and I don't have time for that.

If he wants closure, then he needs to tell me what it is he wants from me (as I've asked him to do), rather than keep on accusing me of stuff he claims I did. That kind of attitude will get him nowhere fast with me.

Go you...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

With respect to djs_specs's comment about keeping a small kitchen knife by the bed, that's not a bad idea. A horking big Maglite might work, too. That way, if the police ever ask you how intruder-boy wound up making a mess on your parquet, you can say that you were playing flashlight tag with your cats, and tend to be rather jumpy...

And go you. Really.