28 years and counting
Jan. 5th, 2007 05:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeOnce again, my birthday has rolled around. Happens at least once a year. ;)
Every year around this time I like to take a step back and evaluate what's going on in my life, what I've been doing, and whether it's working out for me. Last year, I decided I wanted to change careers, and here I am, one year later, in a new job and well on my way on my new career path.
This year is no exception. I have been implementing a few changes slowly over the past few weeks, and I plan on implementing more. Some are small, and others are quite personal and I probably won't discuss those in LJ (at least not publicly), and others are more mundane and barely worth mentioning, but they're important for me.
Like most of my friends, I don't do "resolutions." I find that it's counterproductive to make the kinds of resolutions that seem to be so popular at this time of year. However, since my birthday falls around the beginning of the calendar year, my habit of trying to make positive changes in my life does tend to coincide with "resolution time." I'm not especially fussed if people choose to interpret my actions as New Year's resolutions: after all, it's only what I think of them that matters, in the long run.
In the past week, I've had to make some difficult decisions. The new job and the priorities I've set for myself this year mean that I'm going to have to disappoint some people, which I hate to do. However, one of my "non-resolutions" is to learn how to define my limits and boundaries better. I am terrible at saying "no" to people, especially people I like and consider friends, but it helps no one in the end if I overextend myself and am unable to honour my committments. I'm hoping the disappointment will be short-lived, and that the people involved will understand why I'm having to make these decisions. I'm being deliberately cryptic here because I know some of the people read/have LJs, and I want to talk to everyone concerned in person before discussing it openly here.
The most difficult part of this process is telling Shithead to shut up. Shithead has been especially active of late, since this is one of my weak points and he knows how to explain it.
S: "I don't understand the problem here. You have no other responsibilities besides your job. Why are you cutting back here?"
Me: "I'm overextended. In order to focus on what's important, I need to make changes."
S: "Pshh. Compared to all your friends, you do nothing but sit on your ass all day. You're not overextended, you're just malingering."
Me: "Shut up, Shithead. We're not comparing me to other people. I have to judge my own capacities, and they're not necessarily the same as my friends'. So shove it."
Etc. It's a little bit exhausting, having these arguments in my head all the time.
This post doesn't sound very up-beat, but I've actually been doing really well of late. I had a lovely Christmas, a grand New Year, and I've been enjoying my clean apartment. I really do like my new job schedule, as bad as it is for my social life. Apart from the fact that I can't do anything in the evenings on weekdays anymore, I do like it. I like being able to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and I've always been a morning person, which means I get a lot done between, say, 8am and 2pm, when I leave for work.
I don't think I mentioned that, because my father is awesome, I now have access to a car during the week to go to work. He offered it to me during the week since he's not using it: in exchange I fill it up with gas and bring it back on Saturday morning, picking it up again either Sunday evening or Monday morning. Hurray!
Okay, digression over. I'm enjoying having my mornings to myself. I spend them quietly, get a start on my day at my own pace, without being jostled around public transit and being overwhelmed with people and random stuff like that. This week I got some writing done for Capricornucopia, got my medicare card and my driver's license renewed, registered at the YMCA, and saw my parents for coffee. I also puttered around the apartment, did some cleaning, cuddled the cats, read, and generally had a good time all on my own. This kind of pace suits me much better, and by the time I get into work I'm usually feeling pretty energized and serene, which is nice.
So, 2007 and year 29 of my life look like they're getting off to a very good start.
Every year around this time I like to take a step back and evaluate what's going on in my life, what I've been doing, and whether it's working out for me. Last year, I decided I wanted to change careers, and here I am, one year later, in a new job and well on my way on my new career path.
This year is no exception. I have been implementing a few changes slowly over the past few weeks, and I plan on implementing more. Some are small, and others are quite personal and I probably won't discuss those in LJ (at least not publicly), and others are more mundane and barely worth mentioning, but they're important for me.
Like most of my friends, I don't do "resolutions." I find that it's counterproductive to make the kinds of resolutions that seem to be so popular at this time of year. However, since my birthday falls around the beginning of the calendar year, my habit of trying to make positive changes in my life does tend to coincide with "resolution time." I'm not especially fussed if people choose to interpret my actions as New Year's resolutions: after all, it's only what I think of them that matters, in the long run.
In the past week, I've had to make some difficult decisions. The new job and the priorities I've set for myself this year mean that I'm going to have to disappoint some people, which I hate to do. However, one of my "non-resolutions" is to learn how to define my limits and boundaries better. I am terrible at saying "no" to people, especially people I like and consider friends, but it helps no one in the end if I overextend myself and am unable to honour my committments. I'm hoping the disappointment will be short-lived, and that the people involved will understand why I'm having to make these decisions. I'm being deliberately cryptic here because I know some of the people read/have LJs, and I want to talk to everyone concerned in person before discussing it openly here.
The most difficult part of this process is telling Shithead to shut up. Shithead has been especially active of late, since this is one of my weak points and he knows how to explain it.
S: "I don't understand the problem here. You have no other responsibilities besides your job. Why are you cutting back here?"
Me: "I'm overextended. In order to focus on what's important, I need to make changes."
S: "Pshh. Compared to all your friends, you do nothing but sit on your ass all day. You're not overextended, you're just malingering."
Me: "Shut up, Shithead. We're not comparing me to other people. I have to judge my own capacities, and they're not necessarily the same as my friends'. So shove it."
Etc. It's a little bit exhausting, having these arguments in my head all the time.
This post doesn't sound very up-beat, but I've actually been doing really well of late. I had a lovely Christmas, a grand New Year, and I've been enjoying my clean apartment. I really do like my new job schedule, as bad as it is for my social life. Apart from the fact that I can't do anything in the evenings on weekdays anymore, I do like it. I like being able to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and I've always been a morning person, which means I get a lot done between, say, 8am and 2pm, when I leave for work.
I don't think I mentioned that, because my father is awesome, I now have access to a car during the week to go to work. He offered it to me during the week since he's not using it: in exchange I fill it up with gas and bring it back on Saturday morning, picking it up again either Sunday evening or Monday morning. Hurray!
Okay, digression over. I'm enjoying having my mornings to myself. I spend them quietly, get a start on my day at my own pace, without being jostled around public transit and being overwhelmed with people and random stuff like that. This week I got some writing done for Capricornucopia, got my medicare card and my driver's license renewed, registered at the YMCA, and saw my parents for coffee. I also puttered around the apartment, did some cleaning, cuddled the cats, read, and generally had a good time all on my own. This kind of pace suits me much better, and by the time I get into work I'm usually feeling pretty energized and serene, which is nice.
So, 2007 and year 29 of my life look like they're getting off to a very good start.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-05 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-05 11:38 pm (UTC)Not a baby anymore, no. I work with people who are babies of 20 and 21. Frightening. ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 12:29 am (UTC)Almost as importantly, welcome to the world of the odd shift. Yes, it sometimes takes its toll on the social life, but I'd be very upset if I had to work 9-5. It's an incredibly freeing, special thing having your days to yourself and generally a better environment in the office when all the managers are gone.
You and your friends will adjust, I promise.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 12:42 am (UTC)I am already adjusting quite nicely. It's a change even from Bell Mobility, because there were ALWAYS supervisors on duty there.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 02:45 am (UTC)PS - I wanted to let you know, we think we may (*fingers crossed*) have found someone who can babysit on the 13th, seeing as basically everyone we know in the city is also invited to the soirée. It will likely not be possible for us to stay until midnight, though, as we don't want to impose on her goodwill - it's our landlady from downstairs, so we don't want to annoy her ;) She's just got to check that she's actually free that night, and then we'll be good to go :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 03:04 am (UTC)As I was saying: Woohoo!
I have parts for you and
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 05:27 am (UTC)I tried calling this afternoon to leave a birthday song on your answering machine but it did not pick up. I shall sing to you tomorrow!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 07:37 am (UTC)*throws confetti*
no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 06:12 pm (UTC)How often I say things like this to myself, as well. Because my inner critic is all about the "Look at that person! Why can't you be more productive like they are?" despite how mind-numbingly over-invested I already am.
Huzzah for the weekday auto! Your father is indeed teh awesome.
Hope your birthday was fabulous.