Count your blessings
May. 30th, 2006 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeThere are days when it really sucks to be at the bottom of the totem pole. Or, rather, there are days when I feel it more acutely than others. Today is one of those days. Having had L snap at me first thing in the morning didn't help, especially after I missed my bus and had to run like an idiot to get in on time (which didn't happen: the nature of the beast is such that if I miss my bus I'm automatically seven minutes late). It would be nice if, for just one day, she'd stop insinuating that I'm incompetent and/or deliberately trying to sabotage her. Seriously, it would be nice. I understand that she's stressed because of all the changes in the department. I understand that her arm hurts. I do. I know all these things are hard for her.
But you know what? I'm kind of having a hard time too these days, and I don't take it out on my co-workers. I remain as patient and as pleasant as I can. When I broke my arm in February, I didn't get two weeks of paid medical leave. I ended up having to take two days off because I was in a lot of pain and really out of it because of the painkillers. (She keeps insisting that my injury wasn't "as bad" because at least I knew what was wrong, whereas her tendonitis is chronic and they haven't identified the cause of it. I have thus far refrained from rolling my eyes and commenting "Whatever." Admire my restraint!) Apart from that, I came into work and was nice with people. Hell, I was pleasant and professional even when I was in a hell of a lot of pain. I don't think it's too much to ask that she extend me the same courtesy.
She has a steady, stable job. She has security. She has benefits. She has no reason to worry that her position will be terminated within a few months. Her husband is now home from the United States, permanently, and has a new job, so she doesn't have to worry about that either. Granted, I don't know everything about her life, but nor does she know everything about mine, and so, dammit, I would really like it if she sucked it up and acted like a professional.
I keep having to remind myself that things could be a lot worse. I have a roof over my head. I even sort-of own a car. I am not starving. I live in comfort, even if the circumstances are tenuous.
I am not entitled to a vacation, even if I want one. Want and entitlement are two different things. There are literally billions of people out there who don't get a single vacation day a year. I get ten whole days of statutory holidays, and I get paid two hundred and forty times what they do. I make their entire monthly wage inside of a few hours. If they knew I was bitching about how hard I have it, they would stare at me in disbelief.
I should be grateful to even have a paying job. Not everyone else can claim this. Having a job is a good thing. It's not even that stressful a job, all told. I file papers, deal with other people's emergencies, and make nice with the clients. I type documents and handle managers with kid gloves, and generally do all the shit that others don't want to do. But it could be worse. It could be a lot worse. I don't work overtime. My job starts at 8:30 and goes until 5:00, and I take no work home with me. My weekends are my own.
So, yeah. Counting blessings is a good thing.
1- I have a roof over my head and a great apartment, not to mention a very cool set of landlords.
2- I have four cats who adore me.
3- I have fantastic friends.
4- I have parents who love me and think I'm the best thing since sliced bread.
5- I am mostly healthy and have the use of all my limbs.
6- I have fantastic friends.
7- I am not currently insane (this is a good thing).
8- I have a full-time job that pays a fair bit more than minimum wage.
9- I have fantastic friends.
10- I have been able to keep up with my writing, for the most part.
11- I am able to read and enjoy doing so.
12- I have fantastic friends.
13- I am a member of a kick-ass band.
14- I can go dancing regularly, and enjoy it while I'm there.
15- I have fantastic friends.
16- I have enough food to keep me fed and have a variety of tasty meals.
17- I am entirely my own person and can make all my own decisions.
18- Have I mentioned that I have fantastic friends?
But you know what? I'm kind of having a hard time too these days, and I don't take it out on my co-workers. I remain as patient and as pleasant as I can. When I broke my arm in February, I didn't get two weeks of paid medical leave. I ended up having to take two days off because I was in a lot of pain and really out of it because of the painkillers. (She keeps insisting that my injury wasn't "as bad" because at least I knew what was wrong, whereas her tendonitis is chronic and they haven't identified the cause of it. I have thus far refrained from rolling my eyes and commenting "Whatever." Admire my restraint!) Apart from that, I came into work and was nice with people. Hell, I was pleasant and professional even when I was in a hell of a lot of pain. I don't think it's too much to ask that she extend me the same courtesy.
She has a steady, stable job. She has security. She has benefits. She has no reason to worry that her position will be terminated within a few months. Her husband is now home from the United States, permanently, and has a new job, so she doesn't have to worry about that either. Granted, I don't know everything about her life, but nor does she know everything about mine, and so, dammit, I would really like it if she sucked it up and acted like a professional.
I keep having to remind myself that things could be a lot worse. I have a roof over my head. I even sort-of own a car. I am not starving. I live in comfort, even if the circumstances are tenuous.
I am not entitled to a vacation, even if I want one. Want and entitlement are two different things. There are literally billions of people out there who don't get a single vacation day a year. I get ten whole days of statutory holidays, and I get paid two hundred and forty times what they do. I make their entire monthly wage inside of a few hours. If they knew I was bitching about how hard I have it, they would stare at me in disbelief.
I should be grateful to even have a paying job. Not everyone else can claim this. Having a job is a good thing. It's not even that stressful a job, all told. I file papers, deal with other people's emergencies, and make nice with the clients. I type documents and handle managers with kid gloves, and generally do all the shit that others don't want to do. But it could be worse. It could be a lot worse. I don't work overtime. My job starts at 8:30 and goes until 5:00, and I take no work home with me. My weekends are my own.
So, yeah. Counting blessings is a good thing.
1- I have a roof over my head and a great apartment, not to mention a very cool set of landlords.
2- I have four cats who adore me.
3- I have fantastic friends.
4- I have parents who love me and think I'm the best thing since sliced bread.
5- I am mostly healthy and have the use of all my limbs.
6- I have fantastic friends.
7- I am not currently insane (this is a good thing).
8- I have a full-time job that pays a fair bit more than minimum wage.
9- I have fantastic friends.
10- I have been able to keep up with my writing, for the most part.
11- I am able to read and enjoy doing so.
12- I have fantastic friends.
13- I am a member of a kick-ass band.
14- I can go dancing regularly, and enjoy it while I'm there.
15- I have fantastic friends.
16- I have enough food to keep me fed and have a variety of tasty meals.
17- I am entirely my own person and can make all my own decisions.
18- Have I mentioned that I have fantastic friends?
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 03:13 am (UTC)In no small part because you *are* a fantastic friend yourself. On top of your many additional virtues. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 01:09 pm (UTC)And you know, Phnee, it's not a crime or a sin to want better for oneself, no matter how excellent the circumstances one currently finds oneself in. It really, truly isn't.
I find that reading military istory helps.
Date: 2006-05-31 12:00 pm (UTC)I sit in a nice comfy desk chair, not a foxhole. I don't have hundreds of thousands of guys with names like Hans, Gunther, or Siegfried in Panzers and Stukas (and all their friends and their Panzers and Stukas) trying to kill me, with their buddies Heinz and Rudolf in the artillery firing supporting barrages. My boss is not Josef Stalin. I have performance reviews instead of field trials by the NKVD. I actually get to eat lunch in a nice clean cafeteria instead of scarfing the occasional tin of Lend-Leased Spam. I can shower whenever I want. I use a computer, not a SMG handcrafted by expertly drunk Soviet factory workers. I sleep in a lovely home next to my lovely wife, instead of in the bottom of a foxhole with fourteen guys with names live Ivan, Vlad, and Dmitri from Chelyabinsk. And she washes and perfumes herself daily, unlike Ivan, Vlad, and Dmitri, who haven't. Ever. My dad and WOSM live next door in similar comfort, and haven't been massacred by the SS in a reprisal action.
And I have fantastic friends, none of whom are likely to get shot, step on a land mine, get squashed by a tank, purged, or otherwise die horribly anytime soon.
Life is pretty sweet.