![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI'm not in a good mood, for the record, so doubtless the tone of this post will reflect that. That's all the warning you get.
Haven't updated LJ properly in a while. Today will be no exception. Have been busy running around exhausting myself trying to keep up with my life.
Have had a frustrating few days lately. Nothing huge by itself, but an accumulation of little things. Band practice was, unlike everyone else's experience, an exercise in frustration. I've read other accounts of the practice and wondered if I wasn't practicing with another band without realising it. Mostly the three hours felt like "the songs aren't working because you can't keep the tempo consistent." Not a good thing if, say, you're the drummer. I got out of practice mostly wondering why the hell I'm doing this.
No, I don't need reassurance/bolstering/whatever. I am perfectly capable of getting over myself, I do it all the time.
Spent Saturday evening and most of Sunday in Alexandria with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fearsclave and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
kinokid, and I guess some of the anxiety/frustration of Saturday morning carried over, because I don't think I was very good company. I snapped at fearsclave's uncle at one point, mostly because he pushed a large red psychological button moments after I had had a miscommunication with someone else, and basically it sucked and I felt terrible for snapping at him. It's not his fault I'm oversensitive, and I need to watch my tongue.
I was very late for my parents' dinner party. I had wanted to leave at 4:45 and we didn't end up leaving until nearly 5:30. It turned out okay for the most part, since I arrived as the guests were sitting down, but they had pretty much given up on waiting for me.
I had to sit on my hands not to punch several people at work today. Well, maybe not punch, but I have a feeling I might have tried it if I'd thought I could get away with it. I did get a lot of work done, since after the first hour or so people mostly left me alone. Maybe they could feel the waves of hostility rolling off me. :P
In short, I have a sneaking suspicion that I have been absolutely awful to be around lately. I tapped out my resources of cheefulness and tolerance and good humour, and I have nothing left to give anyone, let alone myself. So my apologies if I've managed to offend or piss anyone off in the last week or so. Let's just say I haven't been myself and leave it at that.
Oh, and happy birthday todjs_specs and terredancer, only forty-five minutes late! At least, in my time zone.
Haven't updated LJ properly in a while. Today will be no exception. Have been busy running around exhausting myself trying to keep up with my life.
Have had a frustrating few days lately. Nothing huge by itself, but an accumulation of little things. Band practice was, unlike everyone else's experience, an exercise in frustration. I've read other accounts of the practice and wondered if I wasn't practicing with another band without realising it. Mostly the three hours felt like "the songs aren't working because you can't keep the tempo consistent." Not a good thing if, say, you're the drummer. I got out of practice mostly wondering why the hell I'm doing this.
No, I don't need reassurance/bolstering/whatever. I am perfectly capable of getting over myself, I do it all the time.
Spent Saturday evening and most of Sunday in Alexandria with
fearsclave and kinokid, and I guess some of the anxiety/frustration of Saturday morning carried over, because I don't think I was very good company. I snapped at fearsclave's uncle at one point, mostly because he pushed a large red psychological button moments after I had had a miscommunication with someone else, and basically it sucked and I felt terrible for snapping at him. It's not his fault I'm oversensitive, and I need to watch my tongue.I was very late for my parents' dinner party. I had wanted to leave at 4:45 and we didn't end up leaving until nearly 5:30. It turned out okay for the most part, since I arrived as the guests were sitting down, but they had pretty much given up on waiting for me.
I had to sit on my hands not to punch several people at work today. Well, maybe not punch, but I have a feeling I might have tried it if I'd thought I could get away with it. I did get a lot of work done, since after the first hour or so people mostly left me alone. Maybe they could feel the waves of hostility rolling off me. :P
In short, I have a sneaking suspicion that I have been absolutely awful to be around lately. I tapped out my resources of cheefulness and tolerance and good humour, and I have nothing left to give anyone, let alone myself. So my apologies if I've managed to offend or piss anyone off in the last week or so. Let's just say I haven't been myself and leave it at that.
Oh, and happy birthday to
djs_specs and terredancer, only forty-five minutes late! At least, in my time zone.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 07:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-28 05:55 pm (UTC)You know, you're allowed to feel cranky. You shouldn't feel more upset because you get upset. Then you just end up blaming yourself for more stuff. So WHAT if you end up being terrible company? You weren't by the way. Sometimes you feel the way you feel and should just accept it.
I don't recommend it when you feel you are going in that direction, but if you are already there, it is the first step in letting go, so you will be more ready and accepting when the time comes to put yourself back in the space you want to be.
Queen of the Sulk