Maybe I'm missing something...
Jul. 9th, 2003 02:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeY'know, I keep wondering if I'm not missing something essential that makes other human beings, well, human beings.
Someone just wrote in their LJ that they loved someone so much it hurt, especially when they're away from said object of their affection.
I've never felt this. Not even remotely. Sure, I've missed people before, and I miss Abi when I'm not around her, but I seem to be lacking that profound quality which everyone else seems to have. Other people seem to feel empty or ache when their love isn't around, and I don't. I miss them, I think of them occasionnally, but I never find myself in that particular state of anguish that characterises the act of loving.
Perhaps I'm just incapable of that particular human emotion.
In my world, love is only a stronger version of like, of friendship and mutual affection. Does that make me less human than others? I don't know. Maybe I'm just not built to love in that way. Maybe I'm not meant to ever feel that.
I suppose that might be why jealousy is always lurking on the edges of my friendships: I'm not jealous of my friends or the time they spend with other people, but I am jealous of the *intensity* of their relationships, the fact that other people can stir emotions in them that I'll never be able to experience.
Okay, enough pseudo-philosophising, back to work.
Someone just wrote in their LJ that they loved someone so much it hurt, especially when they're away from said object of their affection.
I've never felt this. Not even remotely. Sure, I've missed people before, and I miss Abi when I'm not around her, but I seem to be lacking that profound quality which everyone else seems to have. Other people seem to feel empty or ache when their love isn't around, and I don't. I miss them, I think of them occasionnally, but I never find myself in that particular state of anguish that characterises the act of loving.
Perhaps I'm just incapable of that particular human emotion.
In my world, love is only a stronger version of like, of friendship and mutual affection. Does that make me less human than others? I don't know. Maybe I'm just not built to love in that way. Maybe I'm not meant to ever feel that.
I suppose that might be why jealousy is always lurking on the edges of my friendships: I'm not jealous of my friends or the time they spend with other people, but I am jealous of the *intensity* of their relationships, the fact that other people can stir emotions in them that I'll never be able to experience.
Okay, enough pseudo-philosophising, back to work.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 03:47 pm (UTC)1) They're overstating the case just slightly. Y'know, they love someone, they miss them when they're gone, but they wanna dramatise it a bit ala romance novels.
2) They're experiencing the mad, passionate love that's common early in a relationship which rarely lasts. That sort of thing has an amazing tendency to burn out quickly even though it feels like it could last forever. Just look at the number of people that get divorced after only a few months :P
You're not strange or sub-human. A positive emotion like love isn't *supposed* to equate with a negative thing like pain.
*snuggles* You're just perfect the way you are.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-10 01:22 am (UTC)I am really shocked to hear anyone saying that love doesn't equate with a negative thing like pain. Yeah.. yeah, it does. And no, I'm not broken.
Re:
Date: 2003-07-10 03:19 am (UTC)A much wiser and more worldly person than me said 'Love isn't supposed to hurt' and experience proved him right. They're two mutually exclusive emotions IMHO - love is uplifting and makes you feel great. Pain is, well, painful and can be debilitating when present in either the physical, emotional or spiritual forms.
Perhaps when things go sour (either the temporary or permanent kind) you may be able to say that loving someone hurts, but that's not the same as loving someone so much that it hurts. Its a whole other kettle of fish that doesn't bear discussing in the lovely Phnee's LJ.
Like I said, this is just what I think. You're quite free and more than welcome to think something else. And I never did say nor did I imply that you (whom I don't know) were broken. Different opinions come to different people based on their different experiences. 'Tis a fact of life.