mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Emoticon)
[personal profile] mousme
I don't think I'll be driving to the NaNo kickoff party tonight. The migraine is happily into its seventh day, although massive amounts of painkiller are keeping it in the background. Still. Migraine + massive amounts of painkiller = bad combination for safe driving, especially at night. I've had one car accident this week already, minor as it was. I don't plan on having two, thankyouverymuch.

Honestly, if it wasn't the NaNoWriMo wrap party, I probably wouldn't be going. However, NaNo is important enough to me that I'm going to make an effort and attend anyway. I'm going to see if I can load my novel here at work and pick out an excerpt to read tonight. Otherwise, well, I'll just go without one.

I'm feeling pretty useless these days. So many of my friends are having a crappy time, and all I can do is sit by and watch. I barely have the energy and willpower to help myself, let alone anyone else, but I still feel guilty about it. Once upon a time, I was the one people turned to with their problems. I was the solid friend, the one people could safely ignore until they needed a cup of tea and someone to talk to. Now I can't do that anymore. Or at least not as easily as I used to. So basically I serve no useful purpose for my friends, and I hate it.

...

I was about to launch into an analysis of that, but that's a whole other post, and not a topic I can discuss rationally anyway. *grabs ten foot pole and steps away*


Back to work, I guess.

Date: 2005-12-02 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toughlovemuse.livejournal.com
So basically I serve no useful purpose for my friends,

*there is a flurry of motion, as the Toughlovemuse busts through the door and drop kicks your shithead*

That. Is. A. Lie. A big one. I understand how you're feeling -- it's an offshoot of the season -- and Gods know I've been there. But I won't let this one pass. Your friends love you. You're a member of what Taras calls an elite class of people. Do not doubt that you belong there. You do. Nobody out there is evaluating your usefullness. We have your friendship and company, and that's what counts.

There's a point at which always being the person people come to with their problems means that you're always an emotional dumping ground and don't have time and energy to deal with your own problems. The fact that you've taken a step back from that can be seen as a good thing. Sometimes you need you-time, and it can range from an hour, an evening, to a day or a season. It's important that you take it when you need it.

Date: 2005-12-02 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baronscartop.livejournal.com
Let me just add this:

None too long ago at all, she sent me an email - not TLM, The Rocking Thing - yes, she sent me an email, about a friend of hers, saying look at this entry and is there anything you can do about this. See, she didn`t feel she was in a position - BUT SHE STILL DID SOMETHING.

When I call someone elite, it`s not done lightly.

t!

Date: 2005-12-02 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvenditti.livejournal.com
people get turns sugar. that's all. everyone gets a turn.

Date: 2005-12-02 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] owldaughter.livejournal.com
Hear hear. We do what we can when we can.

Date: 2005-12-02 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] owldaughter.livejournal.com
Must I lash you with a wet noodle? Friendship doesn't come with a "I must give you tea and an ear" clause. It happens because people genuinely like you.

And I do. I genuinely like you. And you know what? One of the reasons I like you is because you're human. You have bad patches like I do. I know you understand, because you're there too. Whether you offer tea and an ear or not, I know you're there and you get it. And to me, that's an important part of friendship. I don't need you to solve the problems I'm having, or even sit with me and listen to me talk about them. I know you care, and that's enough. Solidarity, if you will.

But I also understand feeling useless.

Date: 2005-12-02 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com
In one paragraph you say you're not going and in the next paragraph you say you are going. And, I only point this out because of the reason you say you aren't going--I don't want you to get hurt.

I hear ya on the "I used to be the solid friend" thing. I am going through the same thing right now.

Date: 2005-12-02 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ai731.livejournal.com
Actually, she says she won't be driving to the party. There are other handy methods of conveyance, like, say, the Metro, which I'm guessing is how she plans to get there.

Date: 2005-12-02 07:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com
Ah, OK.

I must work on that reading comprehension thingy.

Date: 2005-12-02 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousme.livejournal.com
Hee! Just because I'm not driving somewhere doesn't mean I'm not going. We have an extensive and reliable public transit system in Montreal. The metro (or subway to Americans) and the bus and even commuter trains. I understand why you'd be confused, though: apart from New York, I don't know of that many American cities where you can get by reliably without a car.

I appreciate your concern. Seriously. :)

*hugs*

Date: 2005-12-02 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com
Actually, I really read that as not going. Reading comprehension has failed me again. :(

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