Work and double speak

[mousme]

"I don't mean to interrupt, but could you drop everything you're doing and do this thing for me? I understand if you have lots of other things, but I really need you to have this ready five minutes ago. Thanks."

That sort of thing really, truly, pisses me off.

1- Of course you mean to interrupt. If you didn't mean to interrupt, you wouldn't have interrupted.

2- You don't actually care that I'm doing lots of other things. Your little thing is, according to you, the center of the universe, and anything anyone else is doing is by definition less important.

3- Don't bother tacking on a "thank you" that you don't mean. Your whole attitude suggests that I should consider it a privilege to put aside all my other work in order to do your bidding. Hiding behind a mask of phony politeness does not endear you to me.

So, here I am, doing work for four -count them, four- other managers, all of whom are in a rush to get things done. Legitimate rushes, because other departments are waiting for documents from them. And now you come sailing by and want me to photocopy your expense report before I do all these rush assignments, just so you can get it in this afternoon rather than tomorrow morning.

Okay. Here's where we reassess our priorities. I will be happy to do your damned photocopying after I have processed the boardsheets, sent my urgent faxes, and gotten our sensitive documents signed. I will go when I have a pile of photocopies to make, which will save me time, rather than go back and forth from the photocopy room twenty times a day.

Coming to my desk every. five. fucking. minutes. to ask if I've made your photocopies will not help. I realize it's time sensitive. So is everything else around here. Just like with all other photocopies, when these are done, I will let you know and even *gasp* give them to you. How's that for a concept?

Now, please go the fuck away and let me do my work!

Gah!

Comments

[mousme.livejournal.com]

C: "I'm sorry to interrupt..."
X: "Which means you're not going to, right Ah-ha, ha, ah-ha-ha."

*dies*

Oh, I wish I could be snarky with my managers. That's awesome. :D

Your advice is good, and is something along the lines of the tactics I've learned to keep buzzing manager bees at bay.

"I will be happy to do that for you. Right now I have X, Y and Z to do which take precedence, but once that's done, I'll get right on your N thing."

I can't really go to Boss!Lady with a small thing like photocopies. She expects us to be autonomous enough to handle everyday crises like that. OTOH, she's been great for resolving larger problems, like when the CAM took a whole bunch of important documents home that aren't supposed to leave the office, and then promptly lost them. It meant more work for us, but ultimately the new system will work better for everyone concerned.

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

Oh ayuh, but the threat, though.  See, that whole being-understanding thing doesn't work in an office environment, not as default behaviour.  They don't give a good goddamn about your problems, and it's not malicious, it's just absense of care.  When you show you have any inkling of giving a damn about what's going on with them, you've shown your hole card.

Again - this isn't for everybody, I've worked with kickass people, just it's better default behaviour.

P: I need this photocopied immediately.
Y: I have $xyz to do first for $others, but as soon as I'm done, I'll get right on yours.
P: But I need mine done before the end of the day!
Y: That is a problem, since [go into the intricate details of why each person needs each thing done before P's thing gets to get done] and so you can see my dilemma here!  Now, I figured I'd do your copy job at the same time as this thing here, so as to save myself a trip, so that I get your thing done plus I'm not wasting $others' time.  What would you suggest?

By this time, the person has ideally fled the scene.  More realistically, they say something like "Well, you can do mine now, and it only takes five minutes!", in which case you launch into it again.  If they continue to push, I still say you pull out the "I need assistance prioritising things" - the threat of bugging your manager because $asshole can't be fussed to wait an hour usually stops most of them.

The essence to pulling this off without charges of insubordination is understanding.  Understand completely that $asshole is probably just wrapped up in their own world, and to them, your issues aren't theirs.  You're not someone to be mistreated or treated well, you're a resource that they can use to get smaller stuff done so they can get bigger stuff done.  They're not being malicious, most of the time.

That way, you can pull off the "But I want to help!" tone without dying of internal giggling.  :D

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Hee hee!

I will definitely use that if the problem gets really bad.

For now the managers, for all their absence of care (you're absolutely right about that) usually don't have time to stand and argue with me about how fast their thing is getting done. Today it just so happened that this one woman was being a pain, because she wants the money back from her expense report.

L is much better at putting the managers in their places than I am, although for some reason I'm better with keeping two specific managers (the really high-maintenance ones) in line. Something about our personalities works out well that way.