Work and double speak

[mousme]

"I don't mean to interrupt, but could you drop everything you're doing and do this thing for me? I understand if you have lots of other things, but I really need you to have this ready five minutes ago. Thanks."

That sort of thing really, truly, pisses me off.

1- Of course you mean to interrupt. If you didn't mean to interrupt, you wouldn't have interrupted.

2- You don't actually care that I'm doing lots of other things. Your little thing is, according to you, the center of the universe, and anything anyone else is doing is by definition less important.

3- Don't bother tacking on a "thank you" that you don't mean. Your whole attitude suggests that I should consider it a privilege to put aside all my other work in order to do your bidding. Hiding behind a mask of phony politeness does not endear you to me.

So, here I am, doing work for four -count them, four- other managers, all of whom are in a rush to get things done. Legitimate rushes, because other departments are waiting for documents from them. And now you come sailing by and want me to photocopy your expense report before I do all these rush assignments, just so you can get it in this afternoon rather than tomorrow morning.

Okay. Here's where we reassess our priorities. I will be happy to do your damned photocopying after I have processed the boardsheets, sent my urgent faxes, and gotten our sensitive documents signed. I will go when I have a pile of photocopies to make, which will save me time, rather than go back and forth from the photocopy room twenty times a day.

Coming to my desk every. five. fucking. minutes. to ask if I've made your photocopies will not help. I realize it's time sensitive. So is everything else around here. Just like with all other photocopies, when these are done, I will let you know and even *gasp* give them to you. How's that for a concept?

Now, please go the fuck away and let me do my work!

Gah!

Comments

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

Of course you mean to interrupt. If you didn't mean to interrupt, you wouldn't have interrupted.

See, I establish my work rep early on by saying that out loud.  I say it in a half-joking sense, so that I provide them with an out, but I usually don't cut them much slack in that area.

C: "I'm sorry to interrupt..."
X: "Which means you're not going to, right?  Ah-ha, ha, ah-ha-ha."

You don't actually care that I'm doing lots of other things. Your little thing is, according to you, the center of the universe, and anything anyone else is doing is by definition less important.

That's when I pull out: "I would love to, except I'm doing $thing for $person.  I don't want to muck about with priorities; why don't you go talk to $person, and that way I'm absolutely certain as to how to spend my time?"  Said as sincerely as possible - you wouldn't want to shortchange one of them!

And if they interrupt with an air of "yeah yeah whatever", then I take it to my manager with that question.  "Hey, I'm doing $xyzabc, and $person wants me to do $thing.  I just want to make certain - which should come first?"  They learn pretty quick to do their own goddamned photocopying.

Boy does that look and sound familiar

[blackbuffet.livejournal.com]

Boy... Mousme... Your LJ entry sounds EXACTLY like my job description. The only thing missing is that YOU have to remember ALL of THEIR photocopying needs, to whom THEY need to send to and how much time THEY have until they realize that they actually promised to have that done... (roll some random dice, pick number of days of choice) days ago.

P.S. THEY keep on doing to YOU because YOU, unlike THEY, always do it right the first time.

(Nasty Tip: Keep a list on your desk - somewhere very visible - about what YOU did for them. When they come back to strike you down for not doing THEIR work, YOU show them - point blank - who has been occupying all of your time that THEY need. You will have the four managers sparing you one from the other in no time... :o)

[whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com]

Does he not know how to use the copy machine? Sheesh!