The Great Limerick Challenge

[mousme]

Okay, folks. As some of you may know, I'm a complete limerick fiend, and I want to make a compilation to fuel my obsession.

So, I want you to post all your favourite limericks right here. If you have friends who aren't on my list or who have no LJs, point them here too. :)

There is no limit to the number of limericks anyone should post. In fact, I encourage you to post as many as you can think of. Feel free to make some up, too.

Have at it!

Comments

[curtana.livejournal.com]

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale
Were tattooed the prices of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in braille.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*guffaw* *cough* *sputter*

[joenotcharles.livejournal.com]

HAH! Except the second line doesn't scan. Adding the word "all" would fix it ("were tattooed all the prices of ale"), though it's a bit contrived.

[curtana.livejournal.com]

It scans if you read it as "were TA-tooed the prices of ale" - rather than "ta-TOOED".

[joenotcharles.livejournal.com]

Er, yeah, but that's not how "tattoed" is pronounced. (Unless that's British or Australian or Texan or something? It's not how it's pronounced in my accent, anyway.)

[curtana.livejournal.com]

I assure you, it scans when I say it, and I'm not mispronouncing anything. Leave a single beat at the beginning of the second line.

My (rather feeble) attempt at representing the scansion, where the asterisks are the strong beats:

--*--*--*
(beat)-*--*--*
-*--*
--*--*
--*--*--*

[sorceror.livejournal.com]

METER WARS! ^_^

[joenotcharles.livejournal.com]

If I'm following that right, you're still putting the emphasis an TA instead of TOOED - which is not how "tattoed" is pronounced when you're reading it naturally! (If you DO pronounce tattooed that way when reading it naturally, just say so and I'll drop the whole thing.)

I don't mean to make a big deal out of this, but poetry (with rigid meter, like limericks) that has to be contorted by moving emphasis arond instead of being read naturally is a huge pet peeve of mine.

Another way to fix it would be "ta-TOOED were the / PRICE-es of ale", except that makes the grammar awkward.

[miseri.livejournal.com]

It scanned perfectly well for me. But then, I read it as "were t'TOOED, the prices of ale".

[joenotcharles.livejournal.com]

That's even worse than "TA-tooed" - I can't even figure out what you mean by that, since the line is missing a syllable, and as far as I can tell you're trying to make it scan by dropping a syllable!

[mousme.livejournal.com]

So it's a trochee instead of an iamb. Poetic license. Adding "all" doesn't really make it scan any better: it just adds a syllable.

[curtana.livejournal.com]

YES! That's the term I was (feebly) trying to think of up there. Damn, it's been nearly 10 years since I took Poetics ;)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*rofl*

Yeah. It's only been seven years since I took it, so I have three fewer years to sift through. ;)

Damn, 19 seems far away now... when the hell did I get to be 26? Who authorized that? :P