Random pre-Valentine's Day Ramble
Feb. 3rd, 2004 04:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeA comment to someone else's LJ entry prompted this, don't know exactly where it'll lead.
This is not the first time this thought has occurred to me, of course, but I don't think I've ever written it down before.
See, it occurred to me that in eleven days it'll be Valentine's Day again, and I'll be alone again. I've never, ever been with anyone on Valentine's Day.
It's entirely my fault, mind you. I am the one who broke off relations both times I was involved with someone. Granted, the first time I barely gave the relationship time to get off the ground (I think that I knew from the start it wasn't going to go anywhere, and the only consolation I have is that he's now very happily settled with someone else).
The thing is, I never minded being alone on Valentine's Day. In fact, I was always secretly rather glad not to have to bother with all the ridiculous paraphernalia that accompanied that particular holiday, which is odd, given that I really like all the other holidays. Valentine's Day, OTOH, gave me the creeps, and I was much happier alone, watching a movie. Last year I went and watched the premiere of Daredevil by myself in the theatre. I was extremely content.
This year? I'm not so sure. I'm a little weirded out by the change, but something is different, and I think I know what it is.
This year, I'm gay.
This is the first year I'll be "out" on Valentine's Day, and thus Valentine's Day won't be a source of unnamed anxiety for me. Having a date with a guy on Valentine's Day would have been probably the worst thing I could imagine, date-wise. That's probably the reason I always refused to go out with the guys who asked me out on Valentine's Day (there were a few who did, after all, to my astonishment each time).
But this year, I want to have a date on Valentine's Day. This year, I want to go out with a girl. I want to have dinner with a girl and maybe see a movie or do something fun. Without knowing who it is and what her personality is and her likes and dislikes and quirks I can't be more specific, but I would love to plan a fantastic evening down to the fine details and sweep her off her feet and do something wonderful and romantic or maybe just fun and spontaneous and watch her laugh and take her arm in mine and go walking, huddled together, down the cold streets, our breath frosting before us in the darkening air.
*sigh*
This is not the first time this thought has occurred to me, of course, but I don't think I've ever written it down before.
See, it occurred to me that in eleven days it'll be Valentine's Day again, and I'll be alone again. I've never, ever been with anyone on Valentine's Day.
It's entirely my fault, mind you. I am the one who broke off relations both times I was involved with someone. Granted, the first time I barely gave the relationship time to get off the ground (I think that I knew from the start it wasn't going to go anywhere, and the only consolation I have is that he's now very happily settled with someone else).
The thing is, I never minded being alone on Valentine's Day. In fact, I was always secretly rather glad not to have to bother with all the ridiculous paraphernalia that accompanied that particular holiday, which is odd, given that I really like all the other holidays. Valentine's Day, OTOH, gave me the creeps, and I was much happier alone, watching a movie. Last year I went and watched the premiere of Daredevil by myself in the theatre. I was extremely content.
This year? I'm not so sure. I'm a little weirded out by the change, but something is different, and I think I know what it is.
This year, I'm gay.
This is the first year I'll be "out" on Valentine's Day, and thus Valentine's Day won't be a source of unnamed anxiety for me. Having a date with a guy on Valentine's Day would have been probably the worst thing I could imagine, date-wise. That's probably the reason I always refused to go out with the guys who asked me out on Valentine's Day (there were a few who did, after all, to my astonishment each time).
But this year, I want to have a date on Valentine's Day. This year, I want to go out with a girl. I want to have dinner with a girl and maybe see a movie or do something fun. Without knowing who it is and what her personality is and her likes and dislikes and quirks I can't be more specific, but I would love to plan a fantastic evening down to the fine details and sweep her off her feet and do something wonderful and romantic or maybe just fun and spontaneous and watch her laugh and take her arm in mine and go walking, huddled together, down the cold streets, our breath frosting before us in the darkening air.
*sigh*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-02-03 01:28 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-03 04:22 pm (UTC)It is a great consolation, and if I were near you I'd be draggng you out as well, no questions asked.
Damn, but I wish you didn't live in Australia. :)
Re:
Date: 2004-02-04 12:25 am (UTC)Damn, but I wish you didn't live in Canada!
*thinks*
How about we meet up for a dirty weekend somewhere in Micronesia? ;)
Re:
Date: 2004-02-04 10:33 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-04 05:38 pm (UTC)Only Consolation?
Date: 2004-02-03 04:28 pm (UTC)Hence, you should go out on Valentine's Day with a huge poster and a matching T-Shirt which reads: I AM WONDERFUL. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR TO TAKE ME HOME, GIRL? :)
Re: Only Consolation?
Date: 2004-02-03 05:05 pm (UTC)And the t-shirt is a good idea, although in this weather, I think I'll make it a hoodie sweatshirt.
Re: Only Consolation?
Date: 2004-02-03 05:20 pm (UTC)Hi!!! Keep us transplanted ex-Montrealers updated, OK?
Heh, wow.
Date: 2004-02-03 05:09 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'd so totally go out with you.
Beautiful.
-Anna-
Re: Heh, wow.
Date: 2004-02-03 05:20 pm (UTC)*blush*
Re: Heh, wow.
Date: 2004-02-03 05:29 pm (UTC)Are you
I'm afraid I know a few "Anna"s, and I'm having trouble placing you... but I actually think I might not know you, for once.
I'm really sorry... this is terribly embarrassing... ^^;
Gr. Argh.
Date: 2004-02-03 06:24 pm (UTC)Re: Gr. Argh.
Date: 2004-02-04 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-03 06:55 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-03 06:59 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-04 10:38 am (UTC)*scratches head*
Otherwise I'd have suggested we meet long ago. It's just that you're something like eight hours away from me by car. :P
no subject
Date: 2004-02-04 06:51 am (UTC)I hope you still find someone. I really hope you have a nice romantic Valentine's Day this year.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-04 08:44 am (UTC)*sighs with you*