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mousmeSpent a quiet evening being tutored by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fearsclave on how to strip and clean my paintball marker, generously donated by rotagar in light of his upcoming move to Ireland. Turns out he might be able to come to the big game at Bigfoot this year.
There's a pretty good picture of our group (we've nicknamed ourselves "Project Mayhem") towards the bottom of that page, in the Best Costume category (we got second place and were *totally* robbed, this year we'll kick their asses into next week). We're the scary-looking ones in black. ^_-
Had lunch withfearsclave, rotagar and his brother (and his brother's girlfriend) and April and Anik at Hurley's, which was much fun but put a big dent in my day productivity-wise.
Got an earful from my father about the evils of unpaid parking tickets (he even went so far as to say I'd end up in debtor's prison for not paying them *sigh*), and then as thanks for driving him home he lectured me about saving money by not using my car.
He then proceeded to defend my mother's homophobia, saying it "wasn't serious" and was due to her isolation and lack of university education, and what did it matter since she had no authority over other people? First off, I don't buy the "no university education" shit. Please. Lack of university education does not a bigot make, although in some cases it can help relieve *some* of the bigotry. I know many bigots with university degrees, and a number of non-bigots without them. Secondly, HELLO?!?!? What do you mean it's not serious just because she's not in a position of authority? I'm so flummoxed by that statement coming out of the mouth of an educated man actively involved in politics and society that I don't even know where to begin.
Of course, I understand his motivation, sort of. He's been married to the woman for thirty-two years, and so he must know that she's certifiable. He's an extraordinarily intelligent man, after all. The problem is, he loves her and wants to stay married, thus he's unwilling to venture into territory like this which could possibly alienate her.
I'm trying not to be hurt, because since officially I haven't told him I'm gay, this means that objectively he's not *really* choosing her over me. It just feels that way.
fearsclave on how to strip and clean my paintball marker, generously donated by rotagar in light of his upcoming move to Ireland. Turns out he might be able to come to the big game at Bigfoot this year.There's a pretty good picture of our group (we've nicknamed ourselves "Project Mayhem") towards the bottom of that page, in the Best Costume category (we got second place and were *totally* robbed, this year we'll kick their asses into next week). We're the scary-looking ones in black. ^_-
Had lunch with
fearsclave, rotagar and his brother (and his brother's girlfriend) and April and Anik at Hurley's, which was much fun but put a big dent in my day productivity-wise.Got an earful from my father about the evils of unpaid parking tickets (he even went so far as to say I'd end up in debtor's prison for not paying them *sigh*), and then as thanks for driving him home he lectured me about saving money by not using my car.
He then proceeded to defend my mother's homophobia, saying it "wasn't serious" and was due to her isolation and lack of university education, and what did it matter since she had no authority over other people? First off, I don't buy the "no university education" shit. Please. Lack of university education does not a bigot make, although in some cases it can help relieve *some* of the bigotry. I know many bigots with university degrees, and a number of non-bigots without them. Secondly, HELLO?!?!? What do you mean it's not serious just because she's not in a position of authority? I'm so flummoxed by that statement coming out of the mouth of an educated man actively involved in politics and society that I don't even know where to begin.
Of course, I understand his motivation, sort of. He's been married to the woman for thirty-two years, and so he must know that she's certifiable. He's an extraordinarily intelligent man, after all. The problem is, he loves her and wants to stay married, thus he's unwilling to venture into territory like this which could possibly alienate her.
I'm trying not to be hurt, because since officially I haven't told him I'm gay, this means that objectively he's not *really* choosing her over me. It just feels that way.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-17 02:39 am (UTC)Well, 'cept that I still love ya :)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-17 10:54 am (UTC)Have you considered telling your father that you're gay? Not your mother ... just your father. I'm sure you've written about this in the past, but since such relationship issues are ever changing, I thought I would ask instead of looking back at your older entries.
I ask only because he seems more likely to be accepting, and it might help him to understand why these disagreements are so upsetting for you. It might be helpful to feel like somebody there is at least a little bit on your side.
But I could be 100% entirely wrong. They're your parents, and I've never even met them. I just was thinking "aloud" on my keyboard. Ignore me entirely if it seems prudent.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-17 01:22 pm (UTC)Actually, I think they just put you on a boat and ship you off to the Americas. Or Australia. Work there for 10 years under common servitor laws, then they give you a plot of land and you can use that to get enough money to go back to England. Maybe.
My guess would be that your dad was trying to reason why she had those views. As an example, my wife doesn't vote. It's not right, but she's not perfect. I'm not going to defend her decision to not vote, but I accept that.
But if he defended that, well, that's just wrong. Good luck in all this - it must be tough.