I don't believe this...

[mousme]

My neighbours are once again having loud obnoxious sex, this time apparently on top of a dresser.

I think they keep sex toys in one of the drawers. That's the only explanation I can come up with for the sounds emanating from next door. I mean, what else explains a loud buzzing sound occurring at the same time as the aforementioned loud obnoxious sex?

*cringes and turns up the music*

I don't want to know what is causing the splashing sounds.

Comments

I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

...accidental electric shocks can be painful; you wanna watch out for that around liquids.

Re: I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[meallanmouse.livejournal.com]

They make waterproof ones, you know.

*straight face*

Re: I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but see, back in Darroch's day they had barely invented electricity, never mind batteries. So *his* vibrator probably had a long electrical cord which got frayed, hence the electrical shocks.

Re: I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

It did not... it was steam-powered.

Re: I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Shovelling all that coal must've been a bitch...

Re: I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[meallanmouse.livejournal.com]

*bites tongue*

*bite bite bite*

Re: I hope it's a decent quality vibrator...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[mhw.livejournal.com]

Um, how do you know it's loud obnoxious sex, rather than, say, loud obnoxious redecorating, which would explain the buzzing and splashing?

(You can probably tell from this that I'm not the ideal person to do redecorating with, even if I'm tall enough for people to think I'd be good at paper-hanging)

Well...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

The panting and moaning and whimpering and rhythmic thumping of the dresser against my wall kinda tipped me off.

Re: Well...

[mhw.livejournal.com]

You've never heard me redecorating, have you? :)

Re: Well...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Eww... Kay, I *so* didn't need a mental picture of you with wallpaper and a roller...

Keep your evil kinkiness to yourself, wench! ^_-

Not even my girlfriend...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

...likes redecorating *that* much.

Re: Not even my girlfriend...

[miseri.livejournal.com]

Um.

You have a girlfriend?

Re: Not even my girlfriend...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

The Spousal Unit, aka Suzanne, aka the girlfriend, or the common-law wife.

They're living in sin, shacked up, what have you. ;)

whoa there,

[cymry.livejournal.com]

there's nothing wrong with being shacked up. i'm finding it rather entertaining myself...

as for the loud sex... thank the GODS that's the one noise i DON'T get subjected to on a day to day basis from my neighbors. i think all of them are dysfunctional...

Re: whoa there,

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning anything.

I was simply clarifying Darroch's marital status to Chris, who seems to have got the impression that he and the Spousal Unit were tied by the bonds of holy matrimony.

I admit that I was flippant in the process. ^_-

Re: whoa there,

[cymry.livejournal.com]

nothing wrong with being flippant. depends on who you're flipping, and onto what... *eg*

Re: whoa there,

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Or whom you're flipping off and with what. ^_-