He was right...
Aug. 22nd, 2002 01:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeGeorge was right
not waving but drowning
Not thinking straight random words spilling out think of something else anything else can't go home can't call anyone no one there even the cats are hiding
I wish someone would hold me no one really has since I was a little girl not the way I want not without wanting something in return they always want something and I'm sorry selfish selfish selfish as always
not waving but drowning
don't know if people are waving back or their backs are turned to the horizon spectacularly indifferent and the rays of the sun sink like the arms of a drowning man underneath the impassive waves and I'm sinking drowning suffocating can't think can't breathe don't want to stay like this want it to stop stop stop stop it hurts so much I wish it would all stop and it never will
o mother if you could only see your girl now what would you say would you still love me have you ever really loved me don't you want to love me and make me yours I'm the only one you'll ever have
not waving but drowning
don't know how to keep going doing so well before and now all I can think is that he's right and nothing's ever going to get better think of something else do something else don't think of it whatever it is and keep going keep forging keep fighting keep struggling and watch the waters close over your head the sun rippling so far above the surface as you sink sink sink down into the murky depths the swirling water embracing you caressing you filling your lungs and washing away your memories and hurting and soothing and crushing and so very very very peaceful in its violence
not waving but drowning
no one's listening no one cares and why should they not their life not their problem and if they do care they shouldn't because it's not worth it
wax spilled over the table blood running down the table staining the floor another mess to clean up can't even do this simple thing properly completely messed everything up crumpled paper and the paper dolly is torn and unusable now and who's fault is it maybe no one's fault maybe everyone's fault and I'm sick sick sick of this and in spite of it all I'm still analysing still realising I'm writing in a ternary rhythm because it's the most effective means of communicating hate it the pretentiousness of it all
not waving but drowning
his words echoing in my head all day and ringing so goddamned true I don't want them to be true but they have to be they're controlling my thoughts invading my psyche and nothing I do will make them go away
not waving but drowning
Not thinking straight random words spilling out think of something else anything else can't go home can't call anyone no one there even the cats are hiding
I wish someone would hold me no one really has since I was a little girl not the way I want not without wanting something in return they always want something and I'm sorry selfish selfish selfish as always
not waving but drowning
don't know if people are waving back or their backs are turned to the horizon spectacularly indifferent and the rays of the sun sink like the arms of a drowning man underneath the impassive waves and I'm sinking drowning suffocating can't think can't breathe don't want to stay like this want it to stop stop stop stop it hurts so much I wish it would all stop and it never will
o mother if you could only see your girl now what would you say would you still love me have you ever really loved me don't you want to love me and make me yours I'm the only one you'll ever have
not waving but drowning
don't know how to keep going doing so well before and now all I can think is that he's right and nothing's ever going to get better think of something else do something else don't think of it whatever it is and keep going keep forging keep fighting keep struggling and watch the waters close over your head the sun rippling so far above the surface as you sink sink sink down into the murky depths the swirling water embracing you caressing you filling your lungs and washing away your memories and hurting and soothing and crushing and so very very very peaceful in its violence
not waving but drowning
no one's listening no one cares and why should they not their life not their problem and if they do care they shouldn't because it's not worth it
wax spilled over the table blood running down the table staining the floor another mess to clean up can't even do this simple thing properly completely messed everything up crumpled paper and the paper dolly is torn and unusable now and who's fault is it maybe no one's fault maybe everyone's fault and I'm sick sick sick of this and in spite of it all I'm still analysing still realising I'm writing in a ternary rhythm because it's the most effective means of communicating hate it the pretentiousness of it all
not waving but drowning
his words echoing in my head all day and ringing so goddamned true I don't want them to be true but they have to be they're controlling my thoughts invading my psyche and nothing I do will make them go away
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no subject
Date: 2002-08-22 12:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-08-22 12:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-08-22 12:46 pm (UTC)*huggles*
You know how to reach me.
Am right here...
Date: 2002-08-22 04:23 pm (UTC)