So apparently I have a "look"

I got told yesterday that I have a "look."

I'm quite distressed by this, because apparently this "look" happens completely randomly and gives people the impression that I'm angry with them, or possibly just angry in general.

This has been confirmed by three out of four people. The fourth person just said I looked "stressed" and possibly like I felt out of place, which is accurate because I never do feel *in* place.

This came about because I got told that someone was under the impression that I didn't like them. Then I was told about "the look." It was this "look" that many people have noticed (well, at least three) that gave this person the impression that I don't like them.

I have no idea what to do about this. I have no idea what this "look" looks like (no pun intended... well, maybe a little), nor how to get rid of it.

I mean, I'm rarely if ever truly angry with people, especially in social situations. It takes a lot for me to decide that I don't like someone. I may not click with people right away, but from there to dislike is a large leap.

In fact, I want people to like me. It's a huge thing for me to think that I'm inadvertently causing people even the slightest amount of discomfort.

Gah.

I suppose it's not the end of the world, but still. How does one change a facial expression one doesn't know one has?

Meh...

I want a nap.

Had a not-very-productive nap this afternoon which left me still feeling tired.

Have had two dreams this week featuring miseri. In the first we went out to Dim Sum together, and my whole Mandarin class was there (I took an intensive Mandarin course about four years ago) and I was really embarrassed because they were all speaking Chinese reasonably well and I could only muster a "ni hao" in response.

This afternoon I dreamt that I went to Sunday mass with miseri. I waited for him outside the church doors and was feeling more than a little out of place because I didn't know anyone and was worried that someone would tell me to go away. Finally he arrived looking quite triumphant and handed me a wooden box-like thing with a crucifix engraved on it hanging from a heavy silver chain and told me it was one of the wedding presents, and then he turned and headed off into the church.

I rushed in after him, still holding the crucifix, worried that he was leaving this important little artifact with me when it was in fact his present to give to the bride, whom I didn't know. I wasn't even invited to the wedding, as far as I knew. I began to worry that somehow I *had* been invited and had neglected to get a present. Soon enough I caught up with him and restored the gift, but by then mass had started, and he disappeared again, leaving me to my own devices.

It was then that I realised that we were in St. Patrick's and not St. Willibrord's, because there weren't wooden benches all aligned parallel to the altar, but instead seats that were like those you'd find in a movie theatre (except much smaller) arranged in a formation around the altar that formed the three sides of a square. (Yes, I know St. Patrick's doesn't actually look like that.) It was extremely dark, and most of the seats were taken by then because Mass had started, and I didn't want to climb over people to get to a seat and was feeling very self-conscious.

I thing the dream segued into something else at that point, because I don't remember what happened after that. But it was pretty strange.

*sigh*

Here's my problem.

I didn't realise that what few beverages I had in my fridge are no longer drinkable. Their due date passed two days ago.

The water from my tap is Not Nice™ even when filtered, as it has an aftertaste. Yes, I am picky about my water. Deal with it.

The fact that I am mostly out of food doesn't worry me as much. I have enough food to last me a few more days.

However, I spent all day running around getting the car organised, and doing other sundry things, and am now happily playing Perseity, thinking up my character for an upcoming Star Wars game, and waiting for a post to come back my way for my online StarGate game. I am mostly disinclined to venture out again.

However, I am also out of cat food. This is academic until tomorrow morning, when I can just as easily venture out in search of cat food and something to drink.

In the meantime, however, getting off my ass once my turn in Perseity is over and going out would in all likelihood incite me to take out the garbage as well, which is always a good thing.

In other words, right now I need to motivate myself to vanquish the forces of inertia.