mousme: The silhouettes from MST3K with the written caption Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay (Oscar Wilde)
[personal profile] mousme
 I am so bad at working from home when I don't absolutely have to. This is why I prefer going to the office, even if it's kind of a pain. I am lousy at the whole self-motivation thing.

I got nothing done today. Zero, zip, zilch, nada, nichts. I can't even bring myself to feel bad about it. I slept in, I hung out with the dog and let her outside to frolic in the snow (she does love a good frolic), and watched mindless things on the computer and played Zen Koi 2 on my phone. It is a game in which you make a koi fish swim around a pond and eat smaller fish/prey, you level up the koi and it ascends and becomes a dragon, and then you start again with another koi with different colours or a different pattern. You can collect different colours and patterns of koi. Anyway, the music is very soothing, the game altogether very soothing, and I like watching the pretty fish swim around, and then suddenly an hour has gone by.

Tonight is D&D night! I play every second Saturday in a game that streams on Twitch, and we are starting our third "season." We stopped at the end of November and are now picking up after our holiday hiatus. I am excited to be bringing back Coco the Kenku rogue (aka "Murderbirb"), and finding out what new adventures the DM has in store for us. When we left off we had just rescued the ~boyfriend~ of our sorcerer (they went on one date, but we all ship it) from the Feywild, and--whoopsie--accidentally spent three years in there when we thought only a week or two had gone by. So now we get to find out what's changed in our absence, and move on to the next chapter of our characters' lives!

I should probably make an online grocery order, since I will be avoiding all human contact except going to work (and even then I usually "hide" in my office most of the day and don't come into contact with people) until a) we get a negative test result back from my employee and b) two weeks have gone by since my last contact with her. That will involve actually making a plan for food, and right now even doing that feels like a lot of work. :P

I really do need a magic motivation pill. Like, other people seem to just be able to *do stuff* without an external motivator lighting a fire under their butts. They spontaneously do chores and engage in hobbies, fix things that need fixing, make phone calls when it's absolutely necessary, all sorts of behaviours that are absolutely baffling to me but which I would like to emulate. I just haven't figured out how.

Date: 2021-01-17 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colestainedpage.livejournal.com
Your last paragraph... YES. I've been that way all my life. No motivation for any of the things my brain told me that I wanted to do. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with ADHD-I a little over a year ago that I realized WHY. The meds help some, but I still haven't yet figured out how to really do those behaviors.

Date: 2021-01-17 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousme.livejournal.com
Yep. Recent ADHD diagnosis here too. The meds help but they don't magically undo 40+ years of executive dysfunction, you know?

Date: 2021-01-18 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colestainedpage.livejournal.com
Yes, yes I do.

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