Seven o'clock, and all is well
Jan. 3rd, 2021 07:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI am back home after a quiet New Year's weekend spent with my parents. (In case I didn't specify before, I make a point of quarantining for two weeks before visiting them, so I don't expose them to Covid 19) I am trying to cherish the moments I have with them now, because they are slowing down and starting to show their age. My father is seventy-nine, and my mother is going to be eighty-four in March, and every time I see them now, because it's at longer intervals, they seem just that much older, just that much more frail.
I don't like to think about the fact that they are eventually going to die, but the reality is there, and it's closer than I'd like. If we're lucky I will get several more years with them, but even those years are going to be limited. On the other hand, we are getting along better than we ever have, so these few times we get to spend together are great. We just hang out, share jokes, I fix my mother's computer and talk to my father about the books he's writing, and we listen to music and mock my father's obsession with old movies. We make food together (I showed my father how to make lasagne earlier today), and they try to send me home with food I don't want, and I nag them about putting in safety equipment in their apartment to make sure they can stay independent for as long as possible.
I'm still thinking about New Year's resolutions. I feel like I need to make a lot of changes this year, but I also want to make sure I set myself up to succeed at said changes, so more thought is needed. I am going to try to finalize everything before Tuesday, which is my birthday. I often in the past used my birthday as a time to reflect on whether I am the kind of person I want to be, so I think it's high time I revived that particular personal tradition. The last year and a half has been a little rough on my psyche, I'm not going to lie, and it feels silly and petty when, from the outside, my life looks pretty good. Right now I feel like I'm at a fork in a river and I could either go down the route in which I continue to slowly sink while trying to tread water, or else choose an unknown stream that could turn out really beautiful and picturesque but might just as easily be a beautiful and picturesque waterfall. I think my metaphor got away from me there. Anyway. There will be resolutions, I just have to do some more thinking about it.
I hope the New Year is treating you all well. I will check in soon. :)
I don't like to think about the fact that they are eventually going to die, but the reality is there, and it's closer than I'd like. If we're lucky I will get several more years with them, but even those years are going to be limited. On the other hand, we are getting along better than we ever have, so these few times we get to spend together are great. We just hang out, share jokes, I fix my mother's computer and talk to my father about the books he's writing, and we listen to music and mock my father's obsession with old movies. We make food together (I showed my father how to make lasagne earlier today), and they try to send me home with food I don't want, and I nag them about putting in safety equipment in their apartment to make sure they can stay independent for as long as possible.
I'm still thinking about New Year's resolutions. I feel like I need to make a lot of changes this year, but I also want to make sure I set myself up to succeed at said changes, so more thought is needed. I am going to try to finalize everything before Tuesday, which is my birthday. I often in the past used my birthday as a time to reflect on whether I am the kind of person I want to be, so I think it's high time I revived that particular personal tradition. The last year and a half has been a little rough on my psyche, I'm not going to lie, and it feels silly and petty when, from the outside, my life looks pretty good. Right now I feel like I'm at a fork in a river and I could either go down the route in which I continue to slowly sink while trying to tread water, or else choose an unknown stream that could turn out really beautiful and picturesque but might just as easily be a beautiful and picturesque waterfall. I think my metaphor got away from me there. Anyway. There will be resolutions, I just have to do some more thinking about it.
I hope the New Year is treating you all well. I will check in soon. :)
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Date: 2021-01-05 01:52 am (UTC)I totally get what you mean about seeing your parents as older after longer periods apart. I remember the first time I saw my mother after not seeing her for a while and I was shocked at how different she looked. She'd stopped coloring her hair and it was so white I almost didn't recognize her, lol.
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Date: 2021-01-05 05:36 am (UTC)