Writing and elections and sundry
Mar. 5th, 2014 11:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI haven't thought of a good title for this post yet. With any luck one will come to me before I have to hit "post" at the end. I don't think I've ever posted an untitled entry here, though doubtless many of my titles have been unimaginative or along the lines of "I can't think of a title." The more things change, I guess...
I was awake for half the night, mostly just worrying about everything. Hadn't done that in a few months, but I guess there's no time like the present. :P
So, yeah, I am even more tired than usual today. One day, I might not be tired. Today is not that day.
I've hit a rough patch with my writing. It had been going well up until the last day of February, and then I did something which I know better than to do, and it sucked up all my motivation to keep trying to produce fiction. My psyche is a stupid, stupid creature with reams of insecurities, and because I am a head case whose neuroses could fill a phone book, I need to remember not to read the works of people I admire on a day when I plan to produce a lot of prose. So this author I really admire (online) posted a work of 20k+ words that she basically whipped out in a couple of days on the metaphorical corner of a napkin, and it was beautifully written and emotionally spot-on, and I really enjoyed reading it. And then I looked at my own few hundred words, which I struggled to pry out of my brain for days, and wondered why I even bother.
I have no delusions about my writing. It's good, and I write very clean copy as a rule, but it's not brilliant and never will be. I am clever, but just clever enough to know that I will never be brilliant. I can recognise genius and appreciate it, but that's as far as it goes. I am not trying to be self-deprecating, here. My work is good. It's solid, generally well-written prose. My grammar is good, my syntax fine (with the odd French turn of phrase here and there that gets picked up by betas), and my story structure is usually solid. That being said, I don't think it will ever be argued that my stories have helped to take art that one step further, or to elevate fiction in any way, or moved people to new heights. That's just not what my writing does.
A lot of the time, I'm okay with that. I can push it aside and keep plugging away at my stories, because I enjoy writing them. But being exposed to real, beautiful fiction sometimes reminds me just how futile my endeavours are. Sure, I write nice little stories, but I'm not doing anything earth-shattering, and often enough that's a really depressing thought. Yes, I am full enough of myself that I kind of want my art to change the world, rather than be entertainment for a handful of people.
Anyway, on to even more depressing stuff. Québec is having elections! Again! Whee! /o\
I am so glad I no longer have to vote in this province, but I'm still going to get the brunt of all the election nonsense anyway. I still live here part of the time, after all, and Ottawa is close enough that we get all of the Québec news. We have to monitor the news at work anyway, so instead of the Commission Charbonneau all the time (which was so depressing it made me want to slit my wrists), now it'll be Québec elections all the time. *sigh* At least it's only three weeks. I don't understand how Americans do it, it must be like being in a constant state of siege, constantly having elections going on. I'd be exhausted.
My main beef with the political parties in Québec is that it truly feels like there are no good leftist options anymore. The PQ is theoretically to the left, but as my favourite joke goes: "Ils clignotent à gauche, mais ils virent à droite." (They signal left, but turn right instead. It's funnier before translation, trust me.) They're also racist and bigoted and hate the anglo community and insist on being fucking separatists. I can't. I won't vote Liberal, because they're corrupt and on top of that I don't agree with 95% of their economic policies, not to mention that they're basically Conservatives who've taken on the Liberal title. That leaves the CAQ, who are so far to the right (by local standards) that it makes me a little sick, and Québec Solidaire, who are leftists but also separatists and who don't appear to have viable economic policies anyway.
*throws up hands*
Bah.
Politics make me hate everything.
In better news,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
luvenditti is coming for a visit today, which means that pdaughter has made chocolate chip cookies! That was after the Banoffee Pie that she made on Monday. Nothing beats coming home to extraordinary baked goods, let me tell you. Delicious.
I was awake for half the night, mostly just worrying about everything. Hadn't done that in a few months, but I guess there's no time like the present. :P
So, yeah, I am even more tired than usual today. One day, I might not be tired. Today is not that day.
I've hit a rough patch with my writing. It had been going well up until the last day of February, and then I did something which I know better than to do, and it sucked up all my motivation to keep trying to produce fiction. My psyche is a stupid, stupid creature with reams of insecurities, and because I am a head case whose neuroses could fill a phone book, I need to remember not to read the works of people I admire on a day when I plan to produce a lot of prose. So this author I really admire (online) posted a work of 20k+ words that she basically whipped out in a couple of days on the metaphorical corner of a napkin, and it was beautifully written and emotionally spot-on, and I really enjoyed reading it. And then I looked at my own few hundred words, which I struggled to pry out of my brain for days, and wondered why I even bother.
I have no delusions about my writing. It's good, and I write very clean copy as a rule, but it's not brilliant and never will be. I am clever, but just clever enough to know that I will never be brilliant. I can recognise genius and appreciate it, but that's as far as it goes. I am not trying to be self-deprecating, here. My work is good. It's solid, generally well-written prose. My grammar is good, my syntax fine (with the odd French turn of phrase here and there that gets picked up by betas), and my story structure is usually solid. That being said, I don't think it will ever be argued that my stories have helped to take art that one step further, or to elevate fiction in any way, or moved people to new heights. That's just not what my writing does.
A lot of the time, I'm okay with that. I can push it aside and keep plugging away at my stories, because I enjoy writing them. But being exposed to real, beautiful fiction sometimes reminds me just how futile my endeavours are. Sure, I write nice little stories, but I'm not doing anything earth-shattering, and often enough that's a really depressing thought. Yes, I am full enough of myself that I kind of want my art to change the world, rather than be entertainment for a handful of people.
Anyway, on to even more depressing stuff. Québec is having elections! Again! Whee! /o\
I am so glad I no longer have to vote in this province, but I'm still going to get the brunt of all the election nonsense anyway. I still live here part of the time, after all, and Ottawa is close enough that we get all of the Québec news. We have to monitor the news at work anyway, so instead of the Commission Charbonneau all the time (which was so depressing it made me want to slit my wrists), now it'll be Québec elections all the time. *sigh* At least it's only three weeks. I don't understand how Americans do it, it must be like being in a constant state of siege, constantly having elections going on. I'd be exhausted.
My main beef with the political parties in Québec is that it truly feels like there are no good leftist options anymore. The PQ is theoretically to the left, but as my favourite joke goes: "Ils clignotent à gauche, mais ils virent à droite." (They signal left, but turn right instead. It's funnier before translation, trust me.) They're also racist and bigoted and hate the anglo community and insist on being fucking separatists. I can't. I won't vote Liberal, because they're corrupt and on top of that I don't agree with 95% of their economic policies, not to mention that they're basically Conservatives who've taken on the Liberal title. That leaves the CAQ, who are so far to the right (by local standards) that it makes me a little sick, and Québec Solidaire, who are leftists but also separatists and who don't appear to have viable economic policies anyway.
*throws up hands*
Bah.
Politics make me hate everything.
In better news,
luvenditti is coming for a visit today, which means that pdaughter has made chocolate chip cookies! That was after the Banoffee Pie that she made on Monday. Nothing beats coming home to extraordinary baked goods, let me tell you. Delicious.
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no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-05 06:39 pm (UTC)I think writing is a question of practice, and getting good feedback. However, both of those take time - and most of us are too busy with the other parts of life to be able to dedicate all that much to it.
It was pointed out to me once (in a textbook I bought for a creative writing course I was taking) that it would be great if more people thought of writing in the same way they think of tennis or skiing: most people who do it will never turn professional, but they enjoy doing it for its own sake.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-06 12:00 am (UTC)Writing *is* a question of practice, but it's like anything else. At a certain point you will reach the limit of your abilities, and not everyone is a prodigy.
As for tennis or skiing or whatever else... the only reason I allow myself the time to write these days is the pipe dream that some day I might turn pro. Otherwise it becomes a hobby entirely, and I can't justify spending time on hobbies. Not when I have so many other responsibilities.