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mousmeDuring what felt like an interminable day at work yesterday, I found myself thinking that I was actually trapped in a room full of middle class white guys giving their opinion on everything that came up on the news channel. I also found myself wondering if I hadn't maybe been hit by a bus while I wasn't looking and was actually in Purgatory or maybe the very first level of Hell.
Among the topics/opinions covered:
1- The death penalty should be reinstated in Canada for a number of crimes (all murders, for instance, regardless of how the death occurred, as long as it was caused by human hand, all sexual offences, and a variety of 'lesser' crimes).
2- The death penalty should be televised so that the state could use the proceeds from advertising/whatever to pay for them, rather than it fall on taxpayers' heads.
3- There should be no "waiting period" for the aforementioned death penalty, because it's expensive to maintain inmates on death row.
4- People who are on welfare were mostly born to welfare and are mostly losers who never had a job and just expected to be handed a check when they got old enough.
5- Welfare should be abolished because it encourages people to be lazy and not look for work.
6- Christina Aguilera's breasts (specifically nipples/aureolas and whether or not they were visible).
7- That Christina Aguilera has gained weight and is therefore no longer as attractive.
8- That Christina Aguilera dresses in skimpy clothing and is therefore skanky/trashy/unattractive/[insert pejorative comment here].
There was more, but I'm depressed just listing it all.
I am the ONLY woman in the office who ever calls out these guys on their shit, although I am far from the only woman in the office (there are nine of us and twelve men). I do it all the time. Yesterday? Yesterday I was tired. I was tired and so I didn't. I just let it slide.
At one point the interim supervisor (during the nipple/aureola part of the conversation) looked at me sheepishly and said jokingly: "I don't even know if I should be stopping this conversation. Does it count as harassment? Are you uncomfortable?"
I shrugged and said "I'm going home."
I wasn't uncomfortable. The topic wasn't inappropriate per se (although I know there are varying standards of what is and isn't acceptable in a work environment). I was furious at the rest of the conversation. At the use of all the pejoratives applied to a woman for daring to appear in public while not conforming to norms of what is deemed acceptable sexual conduct. I was angry for a bunch of reasons that weren't related to workplace harassment, but I wasn't even sure how to start explaining that.
So I went home, walked the dog and went to bed.
And I'm still angry, and tired. Because, really, would it have killed one of the other two girls there to speak up and say "No, what you are saying is wrong."?
I am tired of being the only one who sees these things and says anything, and I am tired of having it being expected of me, as though no one else can or will do anything. And if I don't, if I'm tired or sick or having a bad day, then I'm pretty sure there are loads of other people out there just waiting to be disappointed that I have let down my entire gender by staying silent this one day.
Among the topics/opinions covered:
1- The death penalty should be reinstated in Canada for a number of crimes (all murders, for instance, regardless of how the death occurred, as long as it was caused by human hand, all sexual offences, and a variety of 'lesser' crimes).
2- The death penalty should be televised so that the state could use the proceeds from advertising/whatever to pay for them, rather than it fall on taxpayers' heads.
3- There should be no "waiting period" for the aforementioned death penalty, because it's expensive to maintain inmates on death row.
4- People who are on welfare were mostly born to welfare and are mostly losers who never had a job and just expected to be handed a check when they got old enough.
5- Welfare should be abolished because it encourages people to be lazy and not look for work.
6- Christina Aguilera's breasts (specifically nipples/aureolas and whether or not they were visible).
7- That Christina Aguilera has gained weight and is therefore no longer as attractive.
8- That Christina Aguilera dresses in skimpy clothing and is therefore skanky/trashy/unattractive/[insert pejorative comment here].
There was more, but I'm depressed just listing it all.
I am the ONLY woman in the office who ever calls out these guys on their shit, although I am far from the only woman in the office (there are nine of us and twelve men). I do it all the time. Yesterday? Yesterday I was tired. I was tired and so I didn't. I just let it slide.
At one point the interim supervisor (during the nipple/aureola part of the conversation) looked at me sheepishly and said jokingly: "I don't even know if I should be stopping this conversation. Does it count as harassment? Are you uncomfortable?"
I shrugged and said "I'm going home."
I wasn't uncomfortable. The topic wasn't inappropriate per se (although I know there are varying standards of what is and isn't acceptable in a work environment). I was furious at the rest of the conversation. At the use of all the pejoratives applied to a woman for daring to appear in public while not conforming to norms of what is deemed acceptable sexual conduct. I was angry for a bunch of reasons that weren't related to workplace harassment, but I wasn't even sure how to start explaining that.
So I went home, walked the dog and went to bed.
And I'm still angry, and tired. Because, really, would it have killed one of the other two girls there to speak up and say "No, what you are saying is wrong."?
I am tired of being the only one who sees these things and says anything, and I am tired of having it being expected of me, as though no one else can or will do anything. And if I don't, if I'm tired or sick or having a bad day, then I'm pretty sure there are loads of other people out there just waiting to be disappointed that I have let down my entire gender by staying silent this one day.
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no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 06:18 pm (UTC)It is exhausting, and it's fine (if galling) to just take a day off sometime.
Remember that quote I posted a couple of weeks back?
You do not have to deal with Everybody's Shit.
You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-29 06:24 pm (UTC)I'd forgotten about that quote, but YES, God, that totally applies. Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2012-03-01 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-01 05:40 pm (UTC)