How the hell do people do it?

[mousme]

I know I keep asking this, but it's because there's something I fundamentally don't grok about truly organized people.

How do people get everything done? How? Even when I make a sincere effort not to procrastinate, I still don't get everything done. Not even close. Between work and groceries and dishes and, y'know, sleeping, I never seem to have time for much. The occasional TV show, a night out here and there with friends, and that means that a TON of stuff gets left by the wayside.

For example, here are the things I have sort of on the go but don't have time to get to these days:

- weeding the garden (long overdue)
- finishing the installation of my IKEA shelves
- sorting out my bookcases
- cooking my meals for the next few weeks
- knitting (the baby blanket is nearly finished, but I have at least three other projects that need attention)
- finishing my current video game (untouched for three weeks now)
- organizing the pantry
- baking bread
- writing my serials (untouched for God knows how long)
- editing the zombie novel
- writing the current novel
- working on my other writing project

What I *have* managed to do is have guests for WorldCon, buy a minimum of food so I don't starve while I lack the time to cook in bulk, keep the apartment reasonably tidy, do several loads of laundry, knit most of a baby blanket, wash all my dishes, go to work, watch a few episodes of BSG and River Cottage, and manage to keep body and soul together.

It doesn't feel like much when I look at all the stuff I want to do or feel like I ought to be doing. Some of it is purely wishful thinking (the video game, for instance, isn't life or death), but some of it is actually really important to me, and I haven't done it.

All the reasonable sources (books and internet alike) say that I have to "just do it." Find the time, make the time, stick my butt in the chair and work. I just... need more specific instructions than that, I think, because all the good intentions in the world aren't helping me.

So... anyone got any concrete advice? I'm sort of borderline despairing here.

Comments

[moonandtree.livejournal.com]

Are you free on Saturday morning? That's my slotted weeding time...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Yup!

As it happens, I have also scheduled weeding for Saturday morning, weather permitting. GMTA, eh?

What time were you planning to get out there?

[moonandtree.livejournal.com]

9 AM. I got a 2 hour window.

[urban-homestead.livejournal.com]

I am not the most organized person so I am not sure where I got the balls to even comment here, but - I think it all does boil down to "just do it", which is a skill not everyone has. I know I don't. In terms of time management, though, when I'm overwhelmed by the To-Do List of Unusual Size, I find the A-B-C method best. If you're not familiar with it, basically, you write down your To-Dos, mark each item as A (must be done ASAP), B (important, but not top priority) and C (less important). Then you ignore C for now, and rank the As and Bs - 1 is first, 2 is second, and so on, in order of importance. For myself, I make myself get through the As, or at least the first 3 As, before I'll let myself do something I want, like make coffee. And then repeat until the list is down to the Cs. This totally stopped working when A1 became "keep the children out of trouble" because I WILL NEVER BE FINISHED.

Hope it helps? My problem is that I know a lot of things I really want to do are technically Cs, and so they never happen. This is true of a lot of people, which is why only a handful of weirdly self-disciplined people actually write the novels everyone else just insists they're going to write someday. ;)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

That's just it. I can mostly get the A's done (because I have no kids, the A's are doable), since that involves work, groceries, and a minimum of cleaning.

B's are more in-depth cleaning, proper cooking, going to the gym, and keeping up with people (because becoming a hermit is bad for my mental health).

Everything else is really C's, which is why I never get to any of the things that feel like they ought to be important and major priorities in my life: the garden, my writing, all creative endeavours. It feels like there aren't enough hours in the day, when all is said and done.

I'm hoping it's just a time management problem, and that if I learn to organize myself better, then I'll be able to do more, if not all of it.

I like the way you put it, though. Maybe I'll make a list and see what comes of it.

[urban-homestead.livejournal.com]

If you can't make yourself do the Bs and Cs, then, honestly, maybe you need to reconsider their importance and stop beating yourself up for not getting around to it? Not sweating the small stuff is pretty much essential to my happiness, but YMMV.

Also, not to get all old-fogy, but getting married and having kids does help considerably with some of those Bs. I'm way better with all the things on your B list now that I am in that stage of life: I have to be more social so that my kids can play with my friends' kids. I do more in-depth cleaning and cooking to please my other half. And I go to the gym to get away from them all.

[owldaughter.livejournal.com]

This is pretty much what I do. Make the list, assign priorities, deal with the As and Bs. The list must frequently be remade, and thus a lot of the Cs don't get handled. Which is, I hasten to point out, OKAY. You have to allow yourself to accept that the Cs get low priority, and not beat yourself up because you don't get to them often. Do not freak out about the Cs. That way lies madness.

It is also true that if you leave some Cs for a while, they migrate into Bs or even As. That's okay too.

You may find it easier if you break the tasks down even further. Baking bread is mixing, kneading, rising, punch down, rising, bake. Weeding the garden is actually weeding several different beds. If you break them down, you can do bits of each task between other tasks, and they get chipped away until they're done.

Leaving the list up on the fridge where you can see it can help too. I've had a list of house fixes and renos that need doing posted on ours for four years running, and we just crossed 'paint the hall' off. 'Fix the cupboards,' 'fix the screens,' and 'paint the fourth living room wall' are still up there.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Breaking things down into steps tends to drive me to the brink of madness, because it makes it seem like *just that much more* to do. It only makes me feel better after I've done it, because then I feel as though I've accomplished so much more. Yes, I'm weird.

I think I'll try putting the list up on the fridge. Which reminds me that I need to buy magnets, which should go on the list... "There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza dear Liza..."

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

Lately, I find that reminding myself of the relief and sense of accomplishment of getting things done is an effective tactic.

[owldaughter.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. Also, I often have fun once I sit down to do things. It's the dreading and wondering where I can fit it all in beforehand that makes it less fun.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

See, it's not effective for me, because I seem to always be busy doing other things. It's not that I'm not doing anything, it's that I never have enough time to get to everything.

[wererogue.livejournal.com]

I guess we get everything important done by keeping each other motivated. If I slack off something or forget about something, Hazel reminds me. Still, it doesn't always work - I have 3 shelves that I meant to put up on Saturday, Sunday and Monday which are still just lying around, for example. I have some cable type stuff to order that I just keep forgetting to even look for, and I haven't even thought about my personal projects since we left Aber.

[wererogue.livejournal.com]

Oo, I like GTD (Getting Things Done) too - it doesn't always work for me, but it's a good system. I use http://www.rememberthemilk.com/ to keep my task list.

[pasley.livejournal.com]

I use the list method, numbering everything in order of importance and/or order (I have to 1)go to the store first in order to 2)buy the buttermilk, in order to 3)bake the scones sort of thing), and/or necessity. Sometimes the list is also broken down into days, Monday through Friday, and what needs to get done each day. Whatever doesn't get done on Monday's list (usually anything after number six or seven, it seems) gets moved onto Tuesday's list, often becoming number one for that day. By the end of the week, whatever is still not done either gets done on the weekend, or doesn't get done, but at least that tends to be the low priority stuff anyway, so not a big deal.

I'm making this sound a little more organized and efficient than it actually is. I find that, for myself, with kids, I've had to let a lot more things slide than I feel comfortable with. I've never been that tidy, but I do like things to look nice, and that's increasingly difficult with a small space and the extra debris of toys and such. All i know for sure is that I don't want to be, say, cleaning constantly. So, I try to tidy every day, and I'm trying to learn to let things go gracefully, without so much angst, without worrying that I'm a bad house-cleaner, or a bad mom, or a bad person because not everything is done, because not everything is clean, not every chore finished.

I guess it's all about sacrifices and choices. I could spend hours preparing a meal, or I could spend those hours cleaning, or I could spend some time tidying, some preparing a more basic meal, and the surplus time playing with my girls. When I think about it that way, the choices become a lot easier.

[owldaughter.livejournal.com]

This is really well put. And yes, progeny as well as the fibro have really forced me to prioritize and let go gracefully.

[jteethy.livejournal.com]

Leaving aside the chores for a moment...

If you really, really want to work on, say, your writing, you have to book yourself some inviolable time for it. If you are waiting for those golden free hours to magically appear, they won't. Stuff-to-do always rises to squeeze out "free" time. If writing important to you, then give it that importance. All of the other boring-but-necessary stuff and all of the but-this-is-also-fun stuff will just have fit themselves around that and *not the other way around*.

At the end of our lives, I don't think any of us are going to look back and think "Damn, I wish I could have washed more dishes. If only I'd made more time for dishwashing..." You have stuff you want to do? Seriously. Do it.

The metaphor that worked for me (and I'll admit, it's on the motivational speaker-y side) is this:

You've got a jar (to represent your waking time). First, you fill it with rocks. Then you pour in pebbles to fill in the gaps. Then pour in sand to fill in the smaller gaps. Now pour in water to top it off, till the sand is super-saturated. Now picture trying to do that process in reverse. You won't even get as far as the pebbles...

[jteethy.livejournal.com]

Now if I could just follow my own advice........

[crowgirl13.livejournal.com]

This is very easy to forget. Thank you. And I do like that metaphor.

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

I think Stephen Covey's "quadrants" is a better way to figure out a to-do list.



Which reminds me that I haven't read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in over 10 years and I am so overwhelmed with stuff to do, that I think I really need it.

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

I forgot to mention about the quadrants: obviously you have to deal with QI, but you want to try to spend most of your time on QII. If you don't handle QII, it usually moves itself to QI. The place to find time for QII is by eliminating as much as possible from QIII & QIV.

[ravgonfly.livejournal.com]

You do realize that your want list is only two longer that your accomplished list. That is pretty darn impressive if you ask me.

It's all a matter of perspective. If the laundry drags you down...take it to the cleaners and have someone else wash it while you are at work. You have what 5 different writing projects...rotate them either every other day or weekly. Don't schedule something for every day of the week...give yourself one day that you can just do whatever and not worry about getting things on your "list" done. That way when you do get things done that happen to be on your list, it's more of a bonus instead of looking at what you didn't get done.

[swestrup]

Frankly, I think most people don't TRY to get as much done as you do. Even with folks who have the same list of chores, if they have a partner then much of the maintenance can be offset.

Plus, you do a LOT of overtime. Frankly I'm amazed you get anything at all done. When I've been forced to do as much overtime as you are doing, I pretty much live out of restaurants and put all of my personal projects on the back burner.

[jteethy.livejournal.com]

I remember some of the BoingBoing folks linking to the 43 Folders site. Here's a decent first link to check out over there:

http://www.43folders.com/2005/09/12/building-a-smarter-to-do-list-part-i

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

Lists? I LOVE making lists, but I'm terrible at following them. I leave little notes to myself sometimes because I have a tendancy to forget, and so the only written thing that I will always remember is if it's on my hand. I'm not talking a novel or anything, but 'pick up dry-cleaning' is always something I forget and so I write a little D on my hand between my thumb and first finger.

[kiwano.livejournal.com]

Keep your to-do list secret, prioritize the stuff that other people can see, and you'll appear "organized" too.

Note that prioritizing the stuff that other people can see can also be carried out by hiding the stuff that you don't want to prioritize. Famous recluses are often reclusive for a reason. :)