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mousmeI mentioned that IKEA and I have an iffy relationship, right? I like their products, hate the way the store is organized. It makes me crazy in very short order. I don't know if it's the harsh lighting, the lack of windows, the fact that the store is designed to make you go in circles even if you only want one thing, the vast crowds of shoppers who randomly stop in front of you for no apparent reason, or all of the above.
So I have IKEA mostly down to a science. If I'm not sure what I want, I plan two trips: one is an advance scouting trip. I go in, I navigate the maze, I measure, I look at all the products, and I make lists of potential stuff. Then I go home, compile a final list that works with my budget, and I go back for a second trip.
The second trip is designed to be one or several surgical strikes. If I have a lot of stuff to buy, I'll make two round-trips from the car. The first trip is all about the light-but-awkward stuff: lamps, small tables, bits and bobs. The second trip is for the heavy DIY stuff.
If all goes well, none of these trips ever takes more than 45 minutes. That's about the length of time that my sanity will tolerate. After that I start gibbering and foaming at the mouth. No, really, I canNOT stay in IKEA for longer than that without having to fight down insane urges to hurt and/or kill people.
So yesterday I had two surgical strikes prepared. The first one went off almost without a hitch. I say almost because I couldn't find the right type of storage basket, in spite of the store's claim that they had them in stock. Fine. I can live without baskets.
Then people started getting in my way. A lot. They stopped in the middle of the aisles, their carts at an angle so as to maximize the impact on the flow of traffic. They congregated in groups in doorways, their carts touching noses in a tender metallic embrace, chatting merrily and ensuring that no one should pass through said doors. They argued about prices with the cashier, holding up the line. Their small children ran around unattended, swinging the barriers near the cash registers so that they repeatedly bashed into my legs, and then the parents *glared* at me when I firmly took hold of the barriers and told the child to stop. Dude, if you won't control your kids, then I will. At least the child stopped bashing into people with heavy metallic objects.
So the first surgical strike, which normally should have taken about twenty minutes, took thirty-five. I still had the modular shelving units to obtain. Back I went, once I had loaded the car. I was already twitchy, but since my primary goal was the modular shelving units, I decided to tough it out and go in anyway. I discovered when I went back in that, unlike the Billy bookcases and other things I had previously bought from IKEA, the modular (GORM) shelving is entirely DIY. That is, it doesn't come in boxes. The customer must pick and choose from a relatively disorganized pile of wooden debris, and out of that eventually one can apparently construct a shelving unit of one's choice and design.
I was little nervous about this, since it apparently doesn't come with instructions on how to assemble it, either. Okay. Still, I reassured myself, people do this all the time. Why shouldn't I? I began putting together my stuff... only to find that they were out of the shelves I need. Not a single solitary shelf to be found. Plenty of corner shelves. Plenty of shelves that were totally the wrong size. Nothing in the size I want or need.
I went to find a helpful employee, and stood in a line of people asking inane questions. "This box, does it contain what it says it contains?" "Yes, Ma'am, it does indeed contain the components listed on the box." "And I can pay for it at the cash?" "Yes, Ma'am, the cashier will be happy to take your money." "And to get it delivered, I go to that area over there that says 'delivery'?" "Yes, Ma'am, the delivery service will deliver your boxes if you pay them."
*headdesk*
Helpful employee informed me that they were expecting a shipment in today. Fine. By this time, though, I had spent well over an hour in IKEA, and if I had had a military-grade assault rifle I probably would not have been responsible for my actions.
I am now trying to call to find out stock inventory, and am being given the run-around by the phone system... Ah-hah! Got hold of a human being, and the shelves are in stock! HUZZAH! I shall go back this afternoon.
So I have IKEA mostly down to a science. If I'm not sure what I want, I plan two trips: one is an advance scouting trip. I go in, I navigate the maze, I measure, I look at all the products, and I make lists of potential stuff. Then I go home, compile a final list that works with my budget, and I go back for a second trip.
The second trip is designed to be one or several surgical strikes. If I have a lot of stuff to buy, I'll make two round-trips from the car. The first trip is all about the light-but-awkward stuff: lamps, small tables, bits and bobs. The second trip is for the heavy DIY stuff.
If all goes well, none of these trips ever takes more than 45 minutes. That's about the length of time that my sanity will tolerate. After that I start gibbering and foaming at the mouth. No, really, I canNOT stay in IKEA for longer than that without having to fight down insane urges to hurt and/or kill people.
So yesterday I had two surgical strikes prepared. The first one went off almost without a hitch. I say almost because I couldn't find the right type of storage basket, in spite of the store's claim that they had them in stock. Fine. I can live without baskets.
Then people started getting in my way. A lot. They stopped in the middle of the aisles, their carts at an angle so as to maximize the impact on the flow of traffic. They congregated in groups in doorways, their carts touching noses in a tender metallic embrace, chatting merrily and ensuring that no one should pass through said doors. They argued about prices with the cashier, holding up the line. Their small children ran around unattended, swinging the barriers near the cash registers so that they repeatedly bashed into my legs, and then the parents *glared* at me when I firmly took hold of the barriers and told the child to stop. Dude, if you won't control your kids, then I will. At least the child stopped bashing into people with heavy metallic objects.
So the first surgical strike, which normally should have taken about twenty minutes, took thirty-five. I still had the modular shelving units to obtain. Back I went, once I had loaded the car. I was already twitchy, but since my primary goal was the modular shelving units, I decided to tough it out and go in anyway. I discovered when I went back in that, unlike the Billy bookcases and other things I had previously bought from IKEA, the modular (GORM) shelving is entirely DIY. That is, it doesn't come in boxes. The customer must pick and choose from a relatively disorganized pile of wooden debris, and out of that eventually one can apparently construct a shelving unit of one's choice and design.
I was little nervous about this, since it apparently doesn't come with instructions on how to assemble it, either. Okay. Still, I reassured myself, people do this all the time. Why shouldn't I? I began putting together my stuff... only to find that they were out of the shelves I need. Not a single solitary shelf to be found. Plenty of corner shelves. Plenty of shelves that were totally the wrong size. Nothing in the size I want or need.
I went to find a helpful employee, and stood in a line of people asking inane questions. "This box, does it contain what it says it contains?" "Yes, Ma'am, it does indeed contain the components listed on the box." "And I can pay for it at the cash?" "Yes, Ma'am, the cashier will be happy to take your money." "And to get it delivered, I go to that area over there that says 'delivery'?" "Yes, Ma'am, the delivery service will deliver your boxes if you pay them."
*headdesk*
Helpful employee informed me that they were expecting a shipment in today. Fine. By this time, though, I had spent well over an hour in IKEA, and if I had had a military-grade assault rifle I probably would not have been responsible for my actions.
I am now trying to call to find out stock inventory, and am being given the run-around by the phone system... Ah-hah! Got hold of a human being, and the shelves are in stock! HUZZAH! I shall go back this afternoon.
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no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 02:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 03:18 pm (UTC)If anyone has a way to NOT be annoyed by teh stupid, I'd LOVE to hear it.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 03:18 pm (UTC)Well, that and to make sure Devon gets a spot in the ball room.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 05:16 pm (UTC)I'm lucky, though, I have a fairly high tolerance for crowds at Ikea, because I tend to wander off into my own little decorating world and only notice other people if they actually crash into me, step on me, or are standing between me and the information tag on the piece of furniture I'm looking at.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-15 08:25 pm (UTC)