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mousmeYou'd think LJ, now that I'm a permanent user, would not fuck up my filters.
On the other hand, it has at least let me explore the option of deleting comments and banning users from commenting in my LJ.
And as a note to everyone's favourite drama queen: No, offering to go out and look in neighbouring streets for my car is not a gesture of caring and compassion. It's over the top and comes off as controlling and weirdly quixotic in an unpleasant way. It's something my father would do, although he'd make sure I was there to see how put out he is about the whole business. It would not be helpful. I do not need you to fix my problems, and it certainly won't make me fall into your arms with declarations of eternal love.
Also, there is a very good reason I use filters. You ask that if I'm to say something nasty I say it to your face: I don't think that's a very good idea. You've made it amply clear in your melodramatic posts about how much you suffer on a daily basis that I'm pretty sure that should you read even one sentence of what I've had to say about how your behaviour makes me feel that you would, as a good friend once put it: "Throw [yourself] off the Jacques Cartier bridge and write a LiveJournal entry on the way down."
I don't believe in causing unnecessary pain, especially when I'll be the one to feel the repercussions.
In the meantime, I'm going to be filtering ALL my posts from now on (I was leaving up the more anodine ones), and I've banned him from commenting in my LiveJournal. Apparently he can't be a man and take it, the way another good friend of mine suggested.
Now I have to go to work.
On the other hand, it has at least let me explore the option of deleting comments and banning users from commenting in my LJ.
And as a note to everyone's favourite drama queen: No, offering to go out and look in neighbouring streets for my car is not a gesture of caring and compassion. It's over the top and comes off as controlling and weirdly quixotic in an unpleasant way. It's something my father would do, although he'd make sure I was there to see how put out he is about the whole business. It would not be helpful. I do not need you to fix my problems, and it certainly won't make me fall into your arms with declarations of eternal love.
Also, there is a very good reason I use filters. You ask that if I'm to say something nasty I say it to your face: I don't think that's a very good idea. You've made it amply clear in your melodramatic posts about how much you suffer on a daily basis that I'm pretty sure that should you read even one sentence of what I've had to say about how your behaviour makes me feel that you would, as a good friend once put it: "Throw [yourself] off the Jacques Cartier bridge and write a LiveJournal entry on the way down."
I don't believe in causing unnecessary pain, especially when I'll be the one to feel the repercussions.
In the meantime, I'm going to be filtering ALL my posts from now on (I was leaving up the more anodine ones), and I've banned him from commenting in my LiveJournal. Apparently he can't be a man and take it, the way another good friend of mine suggested.
Now I have to go to work.
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no subject
Date: 2003-01-31 10:40 am (UTC)You'd think LJ, now that I'm a permanent user, would not fuck up my filters.
Ack. I use a lot of filters, but have never noticed them messing up. I have some posts viewable by only one person, some that only exclude one person, etc. I usually test them by looking at the friends list the filter produces, to make sure it doesn't include people it shouldn't.
The only complaint that I've had with filters is about the GUI. (Begin rant) The way the "Edit Friends Lists" page is set up, I often seem to forget to click the "Save" button, and then have to go back and make my changes all over again. (This is why I always test my filters before I use them, because I would hate to have my nude photos viewable by the wrong people, for example.) After reading the excellent book The Design of Everyday Things, I now know that when I make a mistake like this over and over again, it isn't because I'm stupid ... it's because the damned thing is designed badly. (end rant)
No, offering to go out and look in neighbouring streets for my car is not a gesture of caring and compassion. It's over the top and comes off as controlling and weirdly quixotic in an unpleasant way.
I completely agree. When I saw his comments about your car, I myself was uncomfortable, even though I'm not even a part of the situation! It seemed like a way of insinuating himself into your life ... sort of proclaiming, "I'm important. See? I'll be your hero!" I have one torch-carrying ex-boyfriend who sometimes reacts this way, and it invariably makes me want him to just grow up and move on. Yeah, that doesn't sound very nice of me, but it's the truth.
Also, there is a very good reason I use filters.
I didn't read what Poms wrote to inspire this reaction (since it's been deleted), but it's no one's damned business if you want to filter your posts. Anyone with any respect for you would recognize that.
Okay, my conscience is pricking me about that last sentence I just wrote, and pointing out that Poms probably just isn't being rational about this. He's still hurting, and we've all done stupid things when we were hurting. Yes, the mature, adult thing to do would be to accept how you feel and move on with his life ... but sometimes that is easier said than done. This must be even more difficult for him than it is for you. I hope he's able to get a grip and at least start dealing with his pain, rather than just aiming it in your direction.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-31 11:34 am (UTC)Of course, this situation is nothing as serious as you and Tony.
Poms isn't a sociopath, he's just insecure and passive-aggressive. I just wish he didn't feel the need to shove it in my face constantly.
His post was along the lines of "For crying out loud! Friends are supposed to look out for each other and I was just being your friend by offering to help you out. And if you're going to say something nasty about someone say it to their face."
Bah.
*hugs*
You're a sweetie. :)
Re:
Date: 2003-01-31 11:55 am (UTC)Amen. I hope things are more comfortable for you now that you've made changes to your journal.
I'm curious, though. Why do you continue to keep him on your friends list?
Re:
Date: 2003-01-31 01:25 pm (UTC)A stupid saying that actually fits...
Date: 2003-01-31 10:44 am (UTC)*hugs*
Re: A stupid saying that actually fits...
Date: 2003-01-31 11:44 am (UTC)I have remained friends with someone I used to date before, and I had really hoped I could do the same with Poms, but I don't think either of us can take the emotional strain.
More to the point, he seems unable to let go, and thus makes it difficult for me to be "friendly" with him.
*hugs back*
Re: Apparently he can't be a man and take it...
Unfortunately, I am going to have to agree with the others and suggest that you start considering PERMANENTLY taking him off your friends' list for his own good. (I would flat out suggest it but I am well aware how bad you will feel doing so...)
Re: Apparently he can't be a man and take it...
Date: 2003-02-03 08:55 am (UTC)Thanks. :)
I've already done so. There was a bit of unpleasantness on Friday with an email that essentially became the straw that broke the camel's back.
I fired an email back at him, blocked his email address and removed him from my friends list.
*more hugs*
Re: Sucks to be him
I sure hope that you took your last opportunity to Layeth The Smackdown on him once and for all.
Nevertheless, I think it is for the better... He needs to get over it and grow up.
*Huggles some more...*
Re: Sucks to be him
Date: 2003-02-04 01:55 pm (UTC)Thanks for the support sweets, it means a whole lot more than you can ever imagine.
Oh, and because this is my LJ that Patrick Cassidy can't see: I fully agree with everything you've said about him. Hah! ;)
no subject
You are welcome. (Anytime you need it, you can count on my support...)
*Snicker*
As for Patrick Cassidy, I am glad to see I am not the only one who can't stand him. If he does not stand down, I fully intend to let him know the full extent of what I think about him. (And he will live to regret the day he crossed my path.)