*kicks self*
Jan. 9th, 2003 10:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeMaybe this is just the insomnia speaking, but I think I need to get myself a life.
A proper, inner life.
I am altogether too damned needy and dependent on my friends for my own good. Dammit, I shouldn't have to hang on their every word and beg (interiorly) for their approval.
I should be fucking self-sufficient!
I hate myself when I'm this damned insecure. There is no reason for me to feel this way. None at all. Except that somewhere in my fucked-up mind I have decided that I'm feeling rejected and insecure, and thus my mindspace has gone to fuck.
Why can't I fucking reconcile myself to the idea that 1) not everything is about me; 2) a few random comments don't mean disapproval; 3) my friends have the right to think whatever the fuck they want about me, good or no; 4) I shouldn't be so fucking dependent on their approval to feel like I'm worth something.
Hasn't the goddamned CBT taught me anything?!?! *cries*
I'm overtired. I'm going to bed. This will be over in the morning.
A proper, inner life.
I am altogether too damned needy and dependent on my friends for my own good. Dammit, I shouldn't have to hang on their every word and beg (interiorly) for their approval.
I should be fucking self-sufficient!
I hate myself when I'm this damned insecure. There is no reason for me to feel this way. None at all. Except that somewhere in my fucked-up mind I have decided that I'm feeling rejected and insecure, and thus my mindspace has gone to fuck.
Why can't I fucking reconcile myself to the idea that 1) not everything is about me; 2) a few random comments don't mean disapproval; 3) my friends have the right to think whatever the fuck they want about me, good or no; 4) I shouldn't be so fucking dependent on their approval to feel like I'm worth something.
Hasn't the goddamned CBT taught me anything?!?! *cries*
I'm overtired. I'm going to bed. This will be over in the morning.