Another day beckons
Apr. 7th, 2002 08:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeTravelling lady stay awhile
Until the night is over
I'm just a station on your way
I know I am not your lover
Well I lived with a child of snow
When I was a soldier
And I fought every man for her
Until the nights grew colder
She used to wear her hair like you
Except when she was sleeping
And then she'd weave it on a loom
Of smoke, and gold, and breathing
Had this song in my head for a few days now. It always reminds me of winter in Canada for some reason, and a little bit of myself. The child of snow part, not the travelling lady.
Had a really weird dream last night. Those of you who are squeamish may not want to read it, as it was a nightmare and pretty damned gruesome at that.
I was having an argument with my parents. Don't remember what about. It was really violent, though, and I began to cry really hard. Without thinking twice about it I reached over to a nearby sink and pulled out a very intricate-looking razor blade and began cutting at my face, right in front of them. My father asked me what I was doing, and I replied: "I'm cutting myself." He didn't understand, didn't try to stop me. He just said: "I don't think that's very effective as a beauty treatment."
So I just kept going. As hard as I could, cutting deeper and deeper. But no matter how hard I tried, the cuts kept healing and leaving no trace behind. I tried with my arms, ripping them open almost to the bone, and there too the cuts just joined together again. I felt no pain, no release, no nothing.
And my parents didn't care.
That's when I woke up. Not sure what to make of that dream. It was scary and far too close to reality for my liking. I have cut my face before, in times of major stress, though not as badly as in my dream. My parents didn't notice when I did, but then I took pains to hide it. I don't think anyone noticed those cuts, or if they did they were *super* discreet about them.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm not actually feeling bad. That dream just shook me up a bit. I even posted to the PBeM, and am feeling okay.
Have to get going now. More later, I suspect.
Until the night is over
I'm just a station on your way
I know I am not your lover
Well I lived with a child of snow
When I was a soldier
And I fought every man for her
Until the nights grew colder
She used to wear her hair like you
Except when she was sleeping
And then she'd weave it on a loom
Of smoke, and gold, and breathing
Had this song in my head for a few days now. It always reminds me of winter in Canada for some reason, and a little bit of myself. The child of snow part, not the travelling lady.
Had a really weird dream last night. Those of you who are squeamish may not want to read it, as it was a nightmare and pretty damned gruesome at that.
I was having an argument with my parents. Don't remember what about. It was really violent, though, and I began to cry really hard. Without thinking twice about it I reached over to a nearby sink and pulled out a very intricate-looking razor blade and began cutting at my face, right in front of them. My father asked me what I was doing, and I replied: "I'm cutting myself." He didn't understand, didn't try to stop me. He just said: "I don't think that's very effective as a beauty treatment."
So I just kept going. As hard as I could, cutting deeper and deeper. But no matter how hard I tried, the cuts kept healing and leaving no trace behind. I tried with my arms, ripping them open almost to the bone, and there too the cuts just joined together again. I felt no pain, no release, no nothing.
And my parents didn't care.
That's when I woke up. Not sure what to make of that dream. It was scary and far too close to reality for my liking. I have cut my face before, in times of major stress, though not as badly as in my dream. My parents didn't notice when I did, but then I took pains to hide it. I don't think anyone noticed those cuts, or if they did they were *super* discreet about them.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm not actually feeling bad. That dream just shook me up a bit. I even posted to the PBeM, and am feeling okay.
Have to get going now. More later, I suspect.
