One step forward, three steps back

[mousme]

Does anyone have a good recipe for not screwing up one’s life?

It seems that no matter what I do, I end up fucking myself over. Every time I think things are on track, something else happens that puts me right back where I started, or sometimes even further behind. Usually this “something” could have been avoided if I had thought ahead a few months, or if I’d given things a bit more consideration before plunging in the deep end without a life jacket.

My hindsight appears to be better than 20/20, but I have yet to be able to apply what I’ve learned from my mistakes to potential future problems. It really feels like I never see things coming, like I’m incapable of extrapolating from a particular mistake to apply a general rule.

I know what I’m supposed to be doing, in principle. I just can’t seem to make the theory work in practice.

So now I’m still broke, still bordering on insane, still trying to work around things I’ve screwed up in my planning. It’s as though there’s a constant short-circuit in my learning curve (does that even make sense?), preventing me from moving ahead.

Comments

[karine.livejournal.com]

Anything I can do to help?

[ai731.livejournal.com]

I find that we often don't see (or ignore, or discount) the progress we've made because we're focusing on the things we haven't done yet. Off the top of my head, since I met you, you have: organized a birthday party, moved out of an apartment that was a health hazard, learned to play the drums, and performed in public *twice*. Looks like a whole bunch of steps forward to me...

[swestrup]

The only way to never screw up is to never do anything again. I don't recommend that as a solution -- its worse than the disease.

[quietlyurban.livejournal.com]

the only way to avoid screwing one's life up is to live in a small box and never come out.

(there are those that argue this too is screwing up one's life, but the people in the boxes don't come out to listen, so presumably this point of view doesn't bother them)

otherwise, life is for the living. whether we think we've screwed it up or not is only a matter of perspective. we've still lived it.

the first part of getting out of the rut is recognising you're in it.

the second part is going right on ahead and getting out of it. do something different every day. something random. watch the sunset. walk to a new park once in a while.

or something.

Where are you trying to go?

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

You have to know that before you can plan anything. Have you checked out The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743269519/qid=1122487606/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_sbs_1/104-5013038-6302315?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)? I recommend that one. You sound like a pretty cool person to me, despite what you think of your planning skills. I hope you whip whatever is bothering you back into shape soon. Good premises to you.

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

you and me ... we form a club.

Mutual support?

[baronscartop.livejournal.com]

> Does anyone have a good recipe for not screwing up one’s life?

Part of it, I guess, is realising that it is actually impossible to screw a life up. I have, for example, had two relationships of 4+ years with wonderful women who I expected to spend the rest of my life with. When it became clear that Forever wasn't gonna happen, those realisations did not screw my life up. My relationships with them just changed, that's all.

> Every time I think things are on track, something else happens that puts me right back where I started, or sometimes even further behind.

You may be addressing the wrong problems, here. As others have suggested it may be mostly a question of your point of view. You seem to be thinking of life as a race, or at the very least a path of some sort. Planning is good, but the metaphor does not hold up to scrutiny: Linear lives are only lived by people who are too simple to pay attention, the whole ignorance is bliss thing. You won't live a linear life.

I'm kinda glad about that.

t!